Yeet Your Partner Payment Into The Stratosphere With This Simple Trick

Summary

The article provides a satirical guide on how to appear more successful on Medium by manipulating payment statements to show inflated earnings, while critiquing the platform's profitability for writers.

Abstract

The author humorously suggests a method for writers to make their Medium Partner Program payment summaries appear more impressive. The trick involves editing the email content of the payment statement to mislead others about one's earnings. Despite being a top writer in ten categories, the author admits that writing on Medium is not lucrative, with earnings often lower than welfare benefits. The piece emphasizes the disparity between perception and reality in the world of online writing and the importance of appearances in gaining credibility and attention.

Opinions

The author believes that wealth significantly influences social treatment, suggesting a stark difference in how people are treated based on their financial status.
Being born into wealth is seen as the easiest path to riches, with the author recommending this route with a touch of irony.
Medium is criticized as an ineffective platform for earning money, even for successful writers.
The author mocks the idea of hard work and integrity by promoting deception as a means to gain respect and credibility in the writing community.
There is a cynical view on the value of online content, implying that appearance often trumps substance in the digital age.
The author hints at a broader critique of society's obsession with wealth and status, as well as the lengths people may go to in order to appear successful.

It is simple and most definitely a trick

Image author

People treat you different when you have money. Doors besides the ones at drug stores suddenly start opening for you. Women touch their hair nervously when a man with money talks to them, even if the man didn’t touch her hair first. And the state starts demanding repayment for the six years of food stamps you obtained under false pretenses.

The one surefire way to be rich is to come from a rich family. That’s why I recommend being born to rich parents. It’s proven over thousands of years to be the easiest way to get rich and the easiest way to stay rich. But if you’re not born to rich parents and aren’t afraid to write a bunch of lies, you’re not completely fucked.

Medium is a terrible way to make money. I’m a top writer in 10 categories and people on welfare make double what I do. However, nobody needs to know that.

I’ve come up with a fool proof method to make your monthly statements from Medium look huge! Key word is look. You won’t make a dime more using this method, but you will golly and how look like you are.

Follow these quick and easy steps to yeet your pay into the stratosphere!

Find your most recent pay statement from Medium. The title is “Your Partner Program payment summary”

Open an email and hit the reply to Email button.

At the bottom of the reply will be three dots. Dots might be represented as something else depending on email provider.

This will show you the original Email that now has an editable text box.

??????

Profit! (or at least it looks like it)

Image author

Fool your friends! Trick your parents! Lead others to believe you know what you’re doing so they listen to your bad advice!

For the record, I’ve never shown my real numbers. I always put a comma in my fudged statements because Medium doesn’t use a comma at the third decimal place. Nobody knows that though because they’ve never made over a thousand.

Next time I’ll teach you all how to fudge graphs. It’s more difficult to get it to look native like the email.

Numbers on a screen grab means nothing. Don’t believe everything that you read.