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Abstract

back to where you came from if your name’s so common there. We don’t have this kind of name here; we have good names like ours. Not shithole names like yours. Do you understand? Maybe you want to change your name to a good name like ours?</p><p id="69c6">[Folk1] — <i>YEAH! </i>Your name is like a Yarash on my ass!</p><p id="3793">[Yakqwee] –Folks, what you’re saying is really offensive. I’m sorry, it seems like you must have been through some tough times recently to be so much out of the lovingkindness spirit. Is everything all right?</p><p id="560e">[Folk2 — shouting] — ARE YOU MY SHRINK OR WHAT, YARRRGLLL?</p><p id="b8df">[Folk1 — boiling with anger] — You don’t tell us what to do …</p><p id="81b3">[Yakqwee] — I didn’t tell you what to do. I asked if you were feeling all right. Are you OK?</p><p id="9264">[Folk1 — boiling even more] — And don’t you DARE interrupt me! You come here, uninvited with your Yashasha name I don’t understand, and neither does my <i>good </i>friend here, and you want to teach us lovingkindness? Well, start with yourself, poor Yakthing.</p><p id="cfda">[Yakqwee] — Oh, yeah. Thank you. I always try to be in a lovingkindness spirit.</p><p id="f0fc">[Folk2 — shouting] — TRY HARDER, YABLABLA!</p><p id="8d99">[Folk1] — That’s right! We don’t want you here until you’re full of lovingkindness spirit and ready to kiss our asses, Yagluglug!</p><p id="3280">[Yakqwee] — Oh! I’m sorry to hear that, Fo

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lks. Also, I have my limits. Do you know where Yakqwee comes from? It’s because I make the QWEE sound when riding yaks.</p><p id="1448"><i>Suddenly, a herd of yaks appears out of nowhere. Yakqwee jumps on one of them, and they all happily trample some lovingkindness spirit into the folks.</i></p><p id="d560">[Yakqwee] — QWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAH!</p><p id="be62"><i>I read <a href="undefined">Monika</a>’s sketch and had to write something about Yakqwee!</i></p><div id="d24a" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/babybel-sketch-comedy-script-6c8c78ff7379"> <div> <div> <h2>Babybel! (sketch comedy script)</h2> <div><h3>~ commercials that almost made it series ~</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*qumEojBzpY-9tdIpDmv98g.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="8ae7"><i>Smillew is a Medium writer who writes mainly about <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-40-rules-for-love-7a4040f664e3">love</a>, his <a href="https://smillewrahcuef.medium.com/subscribe">Medium newsletter</a>, and his <a href="https://smillewrahcuef.medium.com/membership">Medium referral link</a>. No need to follow him; he’ll show up in your feed.</i></p></article></body>

Yakqwee Goes for a Ride

Qwee-hah!

Photo by Quaritsch Photography on Unsplash

[Yakqwee enters and sees the two people already sitting] — Hello, Folks. Nice to meet you! My name is Yakqwee, I just got accepted, and they told me to join your group. I hope it’s all right? I’m so excited!

[Folk 1] — What? What did you say your name was?

[Yakqwee] — Yakqwee

[Folk 2 laughs sarcastically] — Hahaha, what? I can’t even pronounce that. Where are you from, Dude? From the village next to shithole town?

[Folk 1 to Folk 2] — Girl! That’s not a nice thing to say. It must hurt. This Yayayakatching with their unpronounceable name isn’t going to be happy. Am I right, Yabadoo?

[Yakqwee] — It’s Yakqwee, Folks. I understand it might be an unusual name for you, but where I come from, it’s pretty common. Maybe I can show you how to pronounce it? I would appreciate it if you made an effort.

[Folk2] — Wow, Yalta, do you think this is a peace conference? Maybe you can come back to where you came from if your name’s so common there. We don’t have this kind of name here; we have good names like ours. Not shithole names like yours. Do you understand? Maybe you want to change your name to a good name like ours?

[Folk1] — YEAH! Your name is like a Yarash on my ass!

[Yakqwee] –Folks, what you’re saying is really offensive. I’m sorry, it seems like you must have been through some tough times recently to be so much out of the lovingkindness spirit. Is everything all right?

[Folk2 — shouting] — ARE YOU MY SHRINK OR WHAT, YARRRGLLL?

[Folk1 — boiling with anger] — You don’t tell us what to do …

[Yakqwee] — I didn’t tell you what to do. I asked if you were feeling all right. Are you OK?

[Folk1 — boiling even more] — And don’t you DARE interrupt me! You come here, uninvited with your Yashasha name I don’t understand, and neither does my good friend here, and you want to teach us lovingkindness? Well, start with yourself, poor Yakthing.

[Yakqwee] — Oh, yeah. Thank you. I always try to be in a lovingkindness spirit.

[Folk2 — shouting] — TRY HARDER, YABLABLA!

[Folk1] — That’s right! We don’t want you here until you’re full of lovingkindness spirit and ready to kiss our asses, Yagluglug!

[Yakqwee] — Oh! I’m sorry to hear that, Folks. Also, I have my limits. Do you know where Yakqwee comes from? It’s because I make the QWEE sound when riding yaks.

Suddenly, a herd of yaks appears out of nowhere. Yakqwee jumps on one of them, and they all happily trample some lovingkindness spirit into the folks.

[Yakqwee] — QWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAH!

I read Monika’s sketch and had to write something about Yakqwee!

Babybel! (sketch comedy script)

~ commercials that almost made it series ~

medium.com

Smillew is a Medium writer who writes mainly about love, his Medium newsletter, and his Medium referral link. No need to follow him; he’ll show up in your feed.