You’ll Never Watch Xena: Warrior Princess The Same Way Again
Xena Kissed A Trans Girl…And She Liked It
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Y’all remember Xena: Warrior Princess?
May the best person win…the beauty pageant
Xena: Warrior Princess was a goddamn pioneer for LGBTQ+ activism. The series played with queer romance, the diversity of nearby weaponry, and why the patriarchy is obviously and utterly awful for everyone regardless of gender.
Next, the show invited rising star Karen Dior to play Xena’s newest ally — and Gabrielle’s worst enemy.
Xena: Transgender Princess
Karen Dior first broke into movies as an adult film star, then published a memoir and transitioned into mainstream roles. Yet even as their acting career reached new heights, Karen increasingly turned to activism, all the way until their sad passing from AIDS-related complications in 2004.
But before she would face her own rainbow passage, she would help solve a beauty pageant true crime mystery.
Her ally wouldn’t be Sherlock Holmes. Not even Benoit Blanc.
It would be the warrior princess Xena.
I guess being born a woman, you wouldn’t get it
Released in January 1997, season 2 episode 11 gave us “Here She Comes… Miss Amphipolis,” what’s perhaps the closest we’ll get to Xena hanging up her sword and solving crimes.
The local (war) lords have put their girlfriends up to win the Miss Known World Beauty Pageant. Xena couldn’t be less interested. Except these lords will do anything to win, including kill the competition.
Xena Sense…tingling!
No sooner does Xena save Miss Mycenae from a crossbow than she realizes this could be an adventure after all.
Remember — a beauty pageant is like a war
Disguised as a contestant, Xena enters the competition. It’s a blast to see Lucy Lawless non-ironically and yet ironically claim her background as a former beauty queen. And my gods, to see Gabrielle switching their dynamic by pretending to be her sponsor…
By now, Lucy Lawless has an idea how fierce her person and the character of Xena are to queer audiences. She had no idea just how queer this episode’s mystery was about to get.
Wearing but a towel a la Elaine Benes style, Xena slips into the steam room with Miss Mycenae, Miss Parnassus, and Miss Skyros for a little gossip and hopefully a few clues.
But more people are listening than Xena. Because for some, Xena isn’t there to stop the danger.
She is the danger.
The one who knocks, if you will.
Those girls can stand the steam, but they can’t stand the heat in Xena’s kitchen. They leave that room fast.
Once alone, Xena discovers someone has locked her inside and the steam is getting worse. But lovers of classic Hitchhiker’s fantasy knew Xena was far from helpless.
With her trusty towel in hand, she snaps the cloth like a whip, opens a vent close to the ceiling, and escapes just in time to take the stage, win the next event — and find the person who trapped her.
Coming out of the closeted steam room
The trail leads to Miss Artiphys — get it? “artifice” or “artificial” — and Xena reveals that she knows the woman is transgender.
That was why Miss Artiphys tried to scare Xena. “I knew you knew.”
Miss Artiphys begs her to keep her secret, saying, “This is a chance to use a part of me most people usually laugh at or worse. The part I usually have to hide. Only here, that part works for me.”
What happens next stuns everyone — including Xena.
If Miss Artiphys isn’t the killer…who is?
“Look — I don’t expect you to understand,” Miss Artiphys says. “And I’m sorry I got you steamed. I just hope you let me quit the pageant in private instead of going public with it.”
“No way,” Xena says. “May the best person win.”
Y’all, I’m swooning for Xena.
By the end, Xena refuses to sing in the talent portion, Miss Artyphis has taken the stage in full Xena regalia, and the real criminal has been exposed.
But the biggest reveal is yet to come.
The killer — of course, isn’t it always — is one of the dudes who put their girlfriend up for the competition. The villain is Lord Clairon. His goal isn’t even to win the competition. He makes most of his money during wartime. Getting his local lords up in arms over which girl is prettiest tends to get the arrows flying and the swords swinging.
Jealousy is a powerful force…as Gabrielle is about to discover.
With the villain revealed and their dignity restored, the contestants withdraw from the competition. They were never in it for themselves, anyway.
All of them except one.
Presenting Miss Known World
Miss Artiphys, you’ll recall, entered the competition with something to prove. And with all of the other contestants having withdrawn…there is one clear winner.
Miss Artiphys!
Behold your next Miss Known World.
‘Stand back, and let her through. She’s the one girl who’ll do. A beauty so mythic, Her figure’s terrific. She’s Miss Known World. With a face and a form so sublime, She’s a legend within her own time. So stand back, make way, Let her smile make your day. She’s Miss Known World.’ -lyrics for “Miss Known World”
One last kiss
Caught up in the moment, unable to resist what’s been sizzling between them since the first look, Miss Artiphys and Xena celebrate with the kind of kiss I didn’t know existed until I met my wife.
But if you’ll look closely, you’ll find what audiences have been focused on since the episode first aired. When Miss Artiphys kisses Xena…you’d swear Gabrielle looks mad. Maybe even jealous.
I’m not surprised. Remember that season 1 episode when Gabrielle was stoned out of her mind and couldn’t help admitting she had the hots for Xena?
Lucy Lawless states this was deliberate foreshadowing from the writers. “They knew what they were doing,” Lucy said.
While she and her co-star Renee O’Connor remained innocently oblivious to the queerly clear signs of their characters’ romance, the series finale left no doubts.
Happily Ever After
On October 2, 2000, audiences saw the conclusion to “A Friend In Need,” the season six series finale for Xena: Warrior Princess. And with that final episode also came the moment the series had promised from the beginning.
The episode delivered a steamy kiss between Xena and Gabrielle. And with that kiss, the series cemented them as a married couple who through six seasons and an animated movie had earned their Happily Ever After.
Fun Facts
- While Karen Dior helped advance trans representation in positive ways, she also took work where she could…including for a Fox Sports Commercial. Representation has come a long way.
- In recent years, Karen has been honored by such fanbases as Xena: Warrior Musical.
- Xena: Warrior Princess actually features TWO trans people. The second is Alexis Arquette as Caligula, the sex-mad emperor of Rome. Alexis sadly passed away in 2016, but not before revealing to FrontiersLA’s Jackie Beat that they had slept with Jared Leto during their masc-presenting years.
About Stephenie Magister
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