Writing While Black

Lessons In The Intersectionality Of Internalized Racism

When POC Attack Black Writers

Lesson #1: How To Respectfully Disagree With A Woman Of Color

This is how a fellow Medium writer responded to my piece entitled:

“This is a disgusting vile act. Keep your racist clickbait to yourself. You people are hypocrites. You demand white comrades when it suits you. Why don’t black people help themselves. The problem with some black people, especially yourself is that you DON’T want white people’s support the you want it. Where was YOUR black outrage when Jussie faked a hate crime? Where was YOUR black outrage when a black man was arrested and he admitted to raping white women because they were white? Where was your BLACK outrage when a white man was brutally beaten when BLACK men attacked him, stripped him and rode over him with a bike? Where was your BLACK outrage when black people attacked Jews?Stop telling white people what to do, how to act and feel. It is pathetic that black people get to dictate how white people should be. Get off your high horse.”

Now here is my response:

Dear Fellow Medium Writer,

Thank you for reading my piece!? It’s good to see another writer offer feedback. I’m working on Part 2 and 3 now, but I wanted to take a moment to respond.

First, I find your accusation of creating “racist clickbait” deeply troubling and highly problematic. I write with integrity and intention to bring truth to light. I speak with authority and a sense of urgency because this is about the lives and real and present dangers of Black and Brown people. This is not game or popularity contest! Did you read the article or simply reacted to the title?

Unfortunately, your use of the term “you people” speaks to the myth that Black people are a homogenized group of negative stereotypes and have a singular, voice, perspective and experience. The views I express, are my own. While you have made me the spokesperson and representative of all Black people, I cannot accept that honor. However, I will try to address my concerns in a respectful manner, although that courtesy was not extended to me -in your response.

You asked, “Why don’t black people help themselves.”

Once again, I can’t speak for all Black people and experiences, but if you read the article, it actually highlighted that it was the Black community and politicians that protested and sought justice for the two young women.

You asked, “Where was YOUR black outrage when Jussie faked a hate crime?”

I’m not sure of how many Black media outlets you know, but the ones I watched wanted the truth and asked questions. Black people do not blindly follow someone, like sheep. As a matter of fact, if I were to dispel a myth and add a generalization, most Black people (I know) follow Reagan’s adage, “trust, but verify”. We don’t have a meeting to decide how and what ALL Black people think.

You asked, “Where was YOUR black outrage when a black man was arrested and he admitted to raping white women because they were white?

As a survivor of child and adult sexual abuse, I am outraged when women and children are abused, regardless of identity and I take all accusations seriously. I advocate for victims of sexual assault in my personal and professional life.

For the record, I stopped listening to R. Kelly when he married an underage singer in the 1990s and do not support silence and victim shaming in Black or Brown communities.

You asked about attacks on white and Jewish men and I maintain that I don’t condone violence unless it’s self-defense. Otherwise, I feel ANYONE who attacks another human being should be held accountable. However, I believe in the restorative justice model that requires conversation, reconciliation, compromise and forgiveness from both parties. This model promotes healing, reduces the chances of retaliation and further conflict.

Finally, you said, “Stop telling white people what to do, how to act and feel. It is pathetic that black people get to dictate how white people should be. Get off your high horse.”

Based on your name and profile picture, you present as a young, Asian man. I apologize if that is incorrect, but if I’m correct:

Your response is a prime example of intersectional and internalized bias and racism. Calling Black people “pathetic” because I asked why white people aren't outraged over the attack of two black women is hurtful and dismissive. Perhaps this story hit a sore spot considering that two of attackers were Asian and the station’s owner was white.

The reality is Black and Brown people have a lot of issues and ‘isms within our respective groups and with each other as a sad side effect of colonialism. We are often harder on each other… Colorism and classism are two of the most pervasive issues fueling division and the unspoken rule that Black/African American people are still at the bottom of this secret hierarchy of oppressed.

I won’t insult your intelligence or patronize you when I speak with kindness and slight familiarity because in addition to being a Black woman, I am also the Mother. My child is part Asian and self identifies as multiracial. You remind me of them— quick to speak their mind without getting all the facts; which is developmentally appropriate for children and youth. Yet, I’m also aware that no matter the age, this type of thinking and interaction with Black women can be dangerous and infectious if left unchecked.

Consequently, as a matriarch, it’s my duty to lovingly give guidance and correction. As a human, I want to defend myself, but my dedication to Black Motherhood appeals to my better nature and higher calling. So today, I will “Rise” as Mother Maya Angelou instructed and resist channeling my favorite, FICTIONAL Black mother, Cookie Lyons (being you brought up Jussie) and not “go in” and “read you” in the glorious African American tradition because you actually picked the wrong Queen — on the right day.

You should have done your research because I am an advocate for ALL in every aspect and intersection of life. Did you not see my article on Bowen Yang or me calling out feminists for being sexist or me thanking several writers from every background for sharing stories that touched me as a human being that is also Black.

My dear, NO man has the right to tell me or any other woman what or how to speak and if I chose to do it from a “high horse” you should simply make your concerns known in a respectful manner and tone and be mindful not to do the bidding of OUR oppressors. Perhaps you’re unaware that your response was hurtful. But when MEN of any race scold or reprimand Black Women it’s called “handling” us and it is a historical and racist practice to “put us back in our place” as if we are not human.

In Sisters Of The Yam, bell hooks calls for Black women to intervene and “dare to move out of our “place” …[which] is away from the bottom of everything, the place this society often suggests we should reside”.

White people, in general, don’t have a problem speaking for themselves — hence the reason I wrote the piece in the first place. As a matter of fact, white men have supported the article more than any other group on Medium. So, I don’t think they need you to rush to their defense when it comes to the abuse and public assault of two young, Black women.

You’re right, the attack on those two young Black women and now me, a seasoned older Black woman by Asian and white men is indeed a “vile act”. I sincerely hope you didn’t mean to attack.

In the future, I ask that you to take a beat before you react and only speak about what you know or seek the truth and facts. You don’t know me, so please don’t assume anything — try appreciative inquiry. In the words of Justice Sotomayor, “Just Ask, Be Brave…” It’s easy to accuse and attack, it takes wisdom and discipline to listen and learn.

I hope this opens the lines of communication with Asian and Black communities. This is personal because my child lives in the intersections of their Black and Asian families and their self and perceived identities, love and acceptance.

I fight for a safe, equitable and inclusive world for my child and every marginalized person — including you because:

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.” Martin Luther King, Jr.

This story was posted on An Injustice! A new publication geared towards voices, values and identities. We are currently looking for more perspectives to add to our team. Check here for how to join!