Summary

The author reflects on how an intense focus on writing has strained personal relationships and emphasizes the importance of balancing work with human connections.

Abstract

The article "Writing & Relationships" delves into the author's personal struggle with the all-consuming nature of writing, particularly how it has negatively impacted their relationships. The author, who works as an agency copywriter and also engages in side projects, admits to allowing writing to create distance from loved ones. Despite the productivity and accomplishment that comes from intense writing sessions, the author acknowledges a growing sense of isolation and a yearning for more meaningful experiences. They recognize that true inspiration for writing comes from living life fully and engaging with the world, rather than being confined to a keyboard. The piece serves as a cautionary tale about the risks of turning a passion for writing into an unhealthy obsession that overshadows the value of human connection and personal experiences.

Opinions

The author believes that writing can become an obsession that detracts from the joy of human connections and experiences.
There is a sentiment that the quality of writing suffers when the writer is disconnected from real-life experiences.
The author suggests that writers need to find a balance between solitude for writing and active participation in life to avoid an unhealthy fixation on work.
The article implies that the pursuit of writing success, such as claps and viral articles, is not worth sacrificing personal relationships and experiences.
The author expresses regret for prioritizing writing over spending quality time with their girlfriend and friends.
It is emphasized that writers should not neglect their core networks of family, friends,

Writing & Relationships

The more I write, the less I connect.

“Determination becomes obsession and then it becomes all that matters.” - Jeremy Irvine

Writing has, sadly, ruined a handful of my most treasured relationships.

More accurately, I’ve allowed writing to distance myself from some of my favorite humans, be them close confidantes or girlfriends who deserved far more love and consideration.

If you’re a 9–5 and 5–9er, you may relate. It’s 70% curse and 30% blessing — the faint blessing being that we get more done by committing to the keyboard.

But lately, it doesn’t feel worth it. People and new experiences are what enrich the journey, after all.

Does this sound familiar?

Each Monday or Tuesday after working from 7AM-4:30PM as an agency copywriter, I return home to wrap up some side work. It’s a newsletter I write for a construction client, and takes a few hours to finish. However…

I only have between 5:00PM, when I get home, to about 11:00PM to either work, relax, see my girlfriend, or meet with friends. Guess which option takes the crown more often than not.

And when you spend most of your time working more after already working “9–5,” the antsiness kicks in. The craving for something real, something more tangible than digital words on fake paper.

Human connection.

I often forget that experiences are what breed passionate writing. That our words only stem from the stories we hold, the lessons we’ve learned, and what we crave to share with the world.

Getting plastered with friends and taking note of the debauchery. Working an illegal unpaid internship for a fame-hungry man-child. Enjoying the pleasures of a love triangle before it implodes. Being chased home by a homeless woman with a taser who hated “white boys.” The weird stuff.

Without those experiences and writing on them, I find myself sinking into the practice of “what my readers want” rather than writing what’s true to me. Researching and optimizing and strategizing until my brain would rather melt, as opposed to writing from the heart, and sharing what I’ve learned in a way that resonates.

Us writers require solace to get things done. Some music, a lit candle, and a locked door, and we’re off. But only if we’re properly stimulated.

Live first, write later

Staying inside and rotting away as we give ourselves carpal tunnel may feel productive, but will hardly produce our best work.

We have to connect with the world through our unique experiences, before engaging our audiences on a level so relatable that they hit that “Subscribe” button.

It’s a bit sickening. Being stuck between four walls typing, rather than making memories with buddies. Chained to the keyboard while my girlfriend lays bored on my bed. Bringing my laptop to family vacations and making the weak claim that I “gotta do what I gotta do.”

If writing is your passion, be sure that it doesn’t become an unhealthy obsession. We have to live too.

From passion to obsession

When it reaches this point, writing has devolved from passion to unhealthy obsession.

And when you zoom out, you realize how important it is to keep a balance.

Writing is uniquely complex. It’s a medium, a hobby, a calling, career, and passion — as well as a toxic obsession that weakens our core networks if we don’t regulate it.

In Irvine’s words, I reached the point where my obsession was all that mattered. Side work, Medium, and my personal blog called shotgun, while the love of my life and the friends I held dear sat bored and confused in the backseat.

Don’t reach the point where you’re “too busy” for friends or “too tired” to tend to your love life, because claps and viral articles aren’t worth it if the best things in life are being gambled as a result.