Writing Prompts For The Bitter Writer

Summary

The website content provides a collection of satirical writing prompts aimed at bitter writers reflecting on their struggles and the success of others.

Abstract

The article "Writing Prompts For The Bitter Writer" offers a series of darkly humorous and introspective writing exercises for writers who are feeling disillusioned with their careers. These prompts encourage writers to explore themes of envy, failure, and the contrast between their own experiences and the success stories of others, such as a writer named Claire who has recently achieved fame. The prompts suggest writing about the better choices made by famous writers, reflecting on past encouragement from a literature teacher, and imagining the downfall of a successful peer. They also propose writing essays on how one could have improved classic novels, journaling about personal achievements, and creating stories that analyze the divergent paths of two aspiring writers, one successful and the other not. The prompts are designed to provoke thought and perhaps a bit of catharsis for writers dealing with disappointment and the challenges of the writing profession.

Opinions

The prompts convey a sense of bitterness and resentment towards more successful writers, particularly towards a character named Claire.
There is an underlying theme of unfulfilled potential and regret about past decisions and missed opportunities in the writing career.
The article suggests a satirical approach to dealing with writer's envy and the pain of seeing peers succeed, such as fantasizing about their misfortunes or contemplating identity theft.
It reflects a cynical view of the writing industry, highlighting the stark contrast between the glamorous success of a few and the obscurity of the many.
The prompts encourage writers to channel their frustrations into creative writing as a form of therapy or coping mechanism.
The content humorously acknowledges the common writer's fantasy of sudden, life-changing success and the disparity between that dream and the reality of the profession.

Remember when your mom said she was proud of you? Hard to remember that now…

Binge-read a biography of a famous writer. Then write and reflect on all the better choices he or she made than you.

Compose a haiku about all the promise your 7th-grade literature teacher, Mrs. Peatree, said you had. Write another haiku about what never emerged.

Go on Twitter and read Claire’s way too gushy tweets about her Netflix TV show deal, then write about all that could go wrong. Make sure to include the phrases “big mistake” and “rando hurricane.”

Read an “important” novel like Fahrenheit 451. Then, in essay form, write about all the ways you could have done it better. Submit this to the most obscurely hip literature magazine you can find.

Write about why you started writing in the first place. Sob for a long period of time while remembering how hopeful you once were and that flicker of youth and idealism you once possessed that led you to that adorable “Rachel” style haircut for a think piece about how that haircut improves self-esteem.

Journal about the best moment of your writing career when you got a bold think-piece published in a prestigious newspaper and your mom actually said she was proud of you and not just pretending like usual, then promptly burn your journal while eating a pint of Peppermint Stick Ice-cream.

Reflect on how last year Claire was sitting with you in a bougie coffee shop dissing all the bougie famous writers on the internet and now she has a verified check on twitter. Is there any way to steal her identity? Brainstorm at least five potential plans.

Imagine a young writer with all the hope in the world. What are all the things that will go wrong with her life next? Make sure to include the words “not fair,” “Netflix addiction,” and “joined a writing school that ended up being a sex cult.”

Instagram stalk your friend who is a writer’s assistant on a new show that’s in development at HBO. Choose the photo that most makes you want to jump out of a window and write at least three to five hundred thousand words on why she posted it and how you’re “totally sure” her success has everything to do with her famous TV star father.

Write two characters who are both aspiring writers. One, let’s call her “Claire,” becomes wildly successful and owns jet skis made of edible gold, and the other is a cat sitter. What happened? Spend the next 10 years of your life writing and hyper-analyzing every one of their life choices that led to this point.

They say, “Good things come to those who wait.” Journal about how long you’ve waited and all the good that has done. Not even your mother’s obscure literary magazine about pugs will publish your work?

Imagine Claire dies because she is hit by a random ladder that falls from the ceiling. Write a personal essay about all the great ways that could make your writing blossom.

Write a short story about hosting a dinner party celebrating your writing career. Make sure to imagine all the terrible things that could go wrong, like that the city has a blackout, someone bites someone else and suddenly everyone becomes a zombie, or your best friend wears the same outfit as you.

Compose congratulation letters to all your friends that have had big writing success this year and then mail them. Then gleefully laugh to yourself about how long it’ll take them to notice you also sent them anthrax.