Writing Online, Learning Online: Creating the Nest
A Nurturing Space of Connection, A Safe Place to Grow
I am back and forth about a few pieces of writing, personal writing. I have titles. That’s about it. I have fuzzy ideas. But I have no real — why? Why am I writing this, why should I write this? Who is this for? And the answer for blogs and online writing is often — because I feel like it might be important and I am writing it for me and to find out what happens after that. Just like in school when you were told there were no dumb questions, and that if you ask a question you might be asking it for a few other, shyer classmates, so it is with writing online.
So here I am: in share mode, in questioning mode, in thinking on the page mode. Welcome.
Part journal, part self-help, part-information sharing, writing online is something that depends upon the source and context. I know I could — could — write detailed and well researched articles. I have that background. I have an almost PhD. I could try harder, in other words. But I know that what draws me to sharing online is the idea of my voice connecting with the feelings of others who might also think and feel how I think and feel sometimes. I have these wild ideas that most people can do research and look things up on their own. But what we struggle with is connection in meaningful ways.
We can all google, we can check our sources, we can fact-find — for real not for things that just back up what we want to see, what we want to believe, and so on. We can all read the news. Or find credible sources for things that matter to us in terms of hobbies and interests and passions and need-to-know’s. But can we all reach out, reach through, share and care in ways that can connect? I am of this mindset that first comes the nurturing, then comes the learning.
As a parent and as a partner this is how I roll in my relationships. First, let me nurture you, get you comfortable, take care of the basics, and then, watch out it is time to learn and grow — whether it be my 11 year old daughter and her homeschooling journey, or my 54 year old fiance and his how to be a woke, progressive, compassionate new man journey.
First I have to let you know you are safe, you are loved, we are connected.Then we can move up and out and fly out of the nest together, or individually, and then together. There’s a lot of this in my life. A space for those I love, and myself, to do our own things that are supportive of the whole, and then to come together as the whole and make our us-ness awesome and good.
The learning needs a nest, basically. And I am sure I could go fact-find tons of theories and psychological journals and articles on this little theory but I also know I do not have to. It’s basic — get this nest, these core needs taken care of and then we can move up and move up and move up. Maslow style. I know you know. And if you don’t know, I know you can go look it up. And then we can talk about it in my little safe space nest if you want to.
I have been big into birds lately. Birds are my little joys in pandemic America, 2020. I watch them, I feed them, I write poem after poem about them. I admire them. I want to join them in their lives of simplicity — eating, flying, eating, flying, eating, sleeping, eating. My nest has been shaken, as is the case for many of us in this COVID-19 context.
We do not feel safe. I know this is true for me. I want so much. I want a government that cares for human life. I want a government that prioritizes health and safety and the greater good over the cold needs of profit and the market. And I am not getting this. None of us are. We are seeing the bare bones of our society exposed and they are all scarred with dollar signs and up or down arrows.
Researching this daily is a panic nightmare. And many sources do it. But I think my job and the job of many online writer folk is to sort of be here, talking about the nest, and making space in it for those who need a bit of a rest.
As a teacher I ensure my students have good sources and resources. And then I leave them to it. And I wait for them to come to me with what they have learned and found, and how they might feel about it. Research and sources and facts and learning are my thing. But what I enjoy more, and what is my little online writing world goal, is to be there for people who have done this work and who want to connect around it.
I have tried in various social movements to be the educator. It’s fine. But it is hard work. And often thankless work. Here’s the resources, the documents, the history, here’s my citations and here’s a paper I wrote, and so on and so on. And I am decent at this, sure. But I am more into a meeting of the minds of people who have already been out there in the stacks and learning and thinking and who need to talk, want to talk, want to have coffee and get into discussions, who want to share and vent and cry and connect.
Learning has this component and it is so often ignored and overlooked which might be why I am writing about it. The technicalities of the learning, go for it — yes, it is vital — but this emotional side, this oh wow that was too much, that was stressful, I did not know this, oh now what do I do with this new information — we do not give this a space, a place, a nest.
And I think, by way of conclusion this might be something for parents, partners, citizens, writers, to work on. My partner struggles with the new knowledge at times — he grew up in a world of blind allegiance to “America” and “Capitalism” and subscribed to the main values of “toxic masculinity” — imagine my surprise! Sigh. It was a hard road to have the many talks we have had to have, but it has been all worth it and it has been done with both resources and comfort, with both learning and facts and hugs. His growth has been supported by this safe space I seek to create for all who need to learn, or want to learn. And we all need to learn, really.
My master’s thesis was about the connection between the virtual and the real in terms of community. And this has also been my life. I spend most of my life online — my best friends are here! But I also take this world and bring it into my real life, share it, talk about it, use what I have learned from it, and take the rest and nest that I have in it and recreate it in person for those who know me in the physical realm.
The nest can be anywhere, online, on the couch. But the vital aspect is that it has to be — or else learning, growing, changing, knowing, can feel cold and pushed, can feel like a chore and a drag, can feel like something to avoid and put off — when it could feel, and is best being something that is done with love, support, nurturing, hugs, cookies, and warmth.
Welcome to the nest.
©Jenny Justice. All Rights Reserved.
Jenny Justice, Poet. Author of Love in the Time of Climate Change and Reveal. You can read more of her poetry at Justice Poetic. Sign up for her newsletter here.
