Writing is an Act of Aggression

How aggressive is your writing?

There’s been days where I’ve lacked the energy to get out of bed and live.

On those days, I’ve resorted to just existing. Mindlessly going through the motions while my brain is on autopilot.

On those dark days, I reserve what little energy I may have to put down my thoughts on paper, mainly just to remind myself that, in spite of the perceived facts, I’m still alive.

It’s truly an aggressive act on my part. It becomes even more aggressive if I hit the Publish button.

An Aggressive Act on the Reader

I’m often reminded of Joan Didion’s words whenever I put pen to paper.

“In many ways writing is the act of saying I, or imposing oneself upon other people.”

Whenever I write something, it is inevitable that I will state it from my own point of view. I can’t do it any other way. But when I publish it, I am also being aggressive, even hostile, to you, my dear reader.

“…there’s no getting around the fact that setting words on paper is the tactic of a secret bully, an invasion, an imposition of the writer’s sensibility on the reader’s most private space.” — Joan Didion

If you make it to the end of whatever piece I might’ve written, I have imposed myself on you. I have made you read my words in your own voice. I have invaded your most private space — your mind — whether you agree with me or not on the subject in question.

In the worst of cases, I’ve made you waste your time. In the best of cases, I’ve either persuaded you, or you’ve validated me by your kind comment.

An Aggressive Act on the Self

My words may only be aggressive to the few that make it to the end of my piece. After all, a reader who feels invaded by a writer’s prose can close the site and go have a drink.

But the writer….

For the writer there is no escape. We stay here, battling our ghosts and demons with our words. Encountering them in every corner as we keep on writing.

And yet, we keep going.

It’s an obsession, a masochist activity with no immediate winners.

But in Spite of Everything…

I keep writing.

I keep writing not because I like it.

I keep writing because I have to. Because it’s the only way to find what’s lurking around the corner.

I keep writing because it’s the only way to get to know my enemy and my best friend — the forgotten self.

If you’re a Medium writer, I know you’ve experience this to some degree. You write to keep consistency, but in process you found forgotten gems or maybe even, forgotten enemies.

You write because you wouldn’t know yourself without your words.

You write because it’s your only sword in the battle.

You write because there would be no you without it.

Thank you for making it to the end of this piece! Here’s a nice cup of coffee for your time ☕️