Writing in the Shower

Abnormal writing advice for creatives

What, as a writer, do you do when you sit down to write a story but nothing comes out? Do you furrow your brow and try to think harder? Do you put your noggin into high gear and try to forcefully squeeze a story out?

There is an infinite supply of stories floating around in the infinite field of unlimited possibilities. This field might be invisible but it is very, very full — infinitely full. There are trillions upon trillions upon trillions of stories floating around just waiting for someone to go into that field and retrieve a story.

But how do we access that field in order to snag a story?

Well, first we must realize what it is that is preventing us from accessing that field. And that is our incessant thinking processes. We think too much! Nothing shuts us off from that field more quickly and staunchly than thinking.

Thinking is like plugging the hole that connects us to that treasure trove of infinite stories.

“Ask and ye shall write.”

I’m pretty sure that quote is not from the Bible but I’m a firm believer in the validity of that advice. Instead of trying to ‘produce’ a story through mental exertion, all you have to do is ask for a story.

Who do you ask? You ask that infinite field of infinite stories. You can just call it, The Universe, if you’re more comfortable with that terminology. Simply ask the universe for a story. Really, it’s that simple.

But don’t ask the universe for a story while you’re sitting at your desk in front of your laptop trying to write a story. That’s putting too much pressure on the universe. Your request needs time to go out into that infinite field and find just the right story that is just dying to come through you. A lot of stories can be somewhat particular as to how open a writer is to it as well as how proficient a writer might be in transcribing the story. A lot of stories don’t like to find a writer to come through only to be choked off mid-story by the writer’s thinking processes and accompanying ego. A lot of stories will gauge the writer’s sincerity before agreeing to come through.

So when is the best time to ask the universe for a story? There are countless times of day that are perfect for it, all of which are times when you’re NOT trying to write. Asking for a story just before you fall asleep at night is an especially propitious time to ask for a story. Often a story will be waiting for you in the morning.

Asking for a story first thing in the morning is another great time to ask. If you meditate, asking for a story during your meditation can be very fruitful. Ask for a story while you’re going for a nature walk down by the creek. Ask for a story while you’re cooking dinner. Ask while you’re standing in line at the bank or the grocery store. Ask while you’re scrubbing the toilet.

The important thing is to have a blank mind free of all thinking when you ask. Then immediately put it out of your mind. It is very helpful to ask repeatedly throughout the day as you proceed with mundane tasks. Just ask and forget about it. The stories will come to you in their own good time, usually when you are least expecting them.

Another good time to ask for a story is when you’re in the shower. But I’ll get to that in a minute.

Speaking of infinite fields, there seems to be an infinite amount of self-help/self-improvement articles here on Medium as well as elsewhere. Most all of them are geared towards helping you attain success, wealth and popularity. It’s no surprise that there are so many articles like this because in today’s world that seems to be what everyone wants.

Just here on Medium there are tens of thousands of “How to Become a Billionaire By Waking Up an Hour Earlier Each Morning” articles. So many of these articles encourage you to better utilize your “unproductive” time, or somehow create more time. Why? So that you have more time to think.

Use that time while you’re commuting to work to think more about your tasks at work. Use that time you’re sitting on the toilet to think over your problems. Use that time you’re eating lunch to think about and organize your afternoon tasks. Use that time you’re “just eating” at dinner to plan your next day’s tasks. Use every minute of every day to think more. Use that time you’re working out at the gym to go over that coding you’re working on. Some articles even suggest using the time that you’re in the shower to think over your route to success. These articles implore you to think harder, to never stop thinking, to keep your focus one hundred percent of the time on thinking your way to success.

Well, that is all just a big load of hokum.

Instead of thinking more we should be thinking less! It is our non-stop incessant thinking that is blocking the universe from delivering the things we want but are too busy thinking to ask for!

So you want to be a wildly popular and successful writer who makes as much money as Stephen King? Well, if you’re focusing on the success, popularity and wealth then you’re not writing. You’re thinking about the success, popularity and wealth. You’re putting the cart before the horse.

If you’re trying to “think up” a story then you’re still putting the cart before the horse. The first step is always to ask.

Ask the universe for a story and then get your noggin out of the way. Once a story comes then and only then does your noggin come into play — and then mostly just for the knowledge of grammar and literary structure stored in the noggin. The noggin is just a text editor and the fingers dancing on the laptop keyboard are just the instruments utilized by the scribe those fingers are attached to. If the scribe can learn to shut the noggin down on a regular basis then they will be inundated with stories.

All they have to do is ask.

I realize this sounds like a bunch of woo-woo to most readers. That’s okay. You don’t have to believe me. After all, I’m not as popular, successful or filthy rich as Stephen King, so why would you believe me? I’m merely suggesting that you give it a try.

I should point out, though, that it doesn’t always seem to work. I tried an experiment just this morning and it didn’t work. Just before jumping in the shower I cleared my head and asked the universe to bring me a story while I was showering.

When I take a shower I try to keep an empty mind while showering. I try not to think at all in the shower. This enables me to be present in the shower and enjoy the sensations of the water. Water flowing over us is actually a great metaphor for writing. Instead of actively creating the water we instead submit passively to the water flowing over us, much like a writer submits passively to a story flowing from the infinite field of possibilities over and through us.

Being in the shower is actually a perfect time to think. After all, it doesn’t take much thinking to take a shower. Our bodies know how to take a shower and we shower with little to no mental effort so we are free to think like crazy while we shower. I used to think a lot while I was showering; about anything and everything. When I was done with the shower I would realize that I hardly even noticed taking it because I was so busy thinking.

Well, a few years back I consciously tried to be more present in the shower and cease all the annoying thinking. It wasn’t easy to do this. My noggin would immediately go into overdrive when I stepped in the shower. I had to work hard at this and I was finally able to take showers without thinking. A shower becomes so much more enjoyable this way.

But not this morning. I reverted to my old habit of excessive thinking while showering. Consequently no story came to me while in the shower. Of course, I kind of jinxed things by giving the universe a time frame in which to deliver a story. The time it takes to deliver a story usually takes longer than the time it takes to take a shower. So my experiment failed. I didn’t get a story.

All I got was this lousy self-help essay on writing in the shower.