Writing Has Ruined My Reading Experience
The reason why I stopped writing in the meantime.
Before I joined the Medium Partner Program, I wasn’t even signed up as a member. I am very meticulous about expenditures that I settled on the 3 stories per month reading limit. To me, it seemed to be enough to read only a few that pique my interest since I had Quora as an alternative platform for me to spend my past time reading.
I never had plans of signing up until I stumbled upon stories that talked about their success after quitting their 9–5. The way they were written reminded me of how much I wanted to quit my job and have finally dive into freelancing. I believe that many experienced freelancers in this platform can offer me good tips in real-life experiences, which makes it authentic and trustworthy to gain advice from.
The same day I have discovered about the Medium Partner Program, and how much the writers are earning by sharing with people their experiences, knowledge, and opinions, I have concluded that becoming a member and signing up for the Medium Partner Program is a win-win situation — I get to spoil myself with unlimited stories, gain insights, and earn money just by sharing my personal experiences.
It was absurd of me to assume that it’s going to be all rainbows and sunshine.
In the first few weeks of becoming a member, I was so elated that my chrome tab was filled with Medium stories that I’ve wanted to read for so long. I didn’t have to think thoroughly from the title and subtitle whether the stories were worth reading. You know how it is for non-members — the stories we can read per month are limited to 3. Now, I’ll have to open the stories I like and read to my heart’s content.
I love learning. Input is my greatest strength based on the Gallup Strengths Finder personality test I took, and there is no better way of learning than gaining wisdom from other people’s stories and real-life experiences.
Before I started to write my own share of stories, I spent about a week and a few days more indulging in almost a hundred stories. It was gratifying that I didn’t realize I’ve spent most of my time reading when I eat my meals, take a short break from work, and even before I sleep. Medium was like my bible.
With all the random stories I’ve consumed, I finally came up with an idea for my first story to publish. This is how it went downhill.
With English only as my second language, I find it extremely challenging to input the right words that best describe the thoughts that I want to convey. Each time I try to re-read my drafts, I realize that they’re not quite readable. I was extremely embarrassed to consider myself a writer when I could not even write properly. I was scared that people will leave my story before I could even convey my story's purpose — if that makes sense.
The very first thing I did that I thought would be the right solution is to read more stories that are well-received continuously. By well-received, I mean stories that are curated.
As I study their way of writing, sentence structure, and grammar, I did learn a lot from them, but the downside was…
It ruined my reading experience. Instead of enjoying the stories that I’m reading, I’m reading them from a technical perspective. I was forcing myself to study and improve my writing skills rather than learning from the story's content.
In the beginning, I thought that was fine. As long as I get to improve, maybe someday I’ll get to enjoy them once again.
But weeks went by until I reached my first month, I lost my excitement for Medium. I no longer wanted to read during my meals, I no longer wanted to click the Medium icon on my phone, and instead of looking for stories that pique my interest, I’m reading them with an annoying voice in my head that says, “This is how you must write titles to gain the attention of readers” or “This is how you must structure your sentences” or “This is how you must input your thoughts.”
My news feed was filled with stories of writing advice instead of intriguing life lessons. I was no longer happy, and you know what’s worse? None of my stories are doing well, either. The effort of studying how to write properly by hindering myself from enjoying the stories was an unfulfilling mission.
It has been a week now since I have stopped writing, and the good news is, I have regained my interest in reading the stories. My free month subscription has ended, and I have decided to renew. Yes, I want to earn money from this platform, but I have realized that the best way to learn is to enjoy the process.
I’m back to writing, and I will keep on writing. I may not have the proper skills at the moment, but as I keep on writing, I know that someday, I’ll be just as good as the top writers.