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Abstract

my favorite choice these days)</li><li>oat</li><li>cashew</li><li>A2 or lactose-free</li><li>organic</li><li>flavored: chocolate, strawberry, vanilla, Cinnamon Toast Crunch (for real, it’s a flavor)</li><li>grass fed (often features a cow standing in a pasture chomping on grass, lest you doubt it’s authenticity.)</li><li>full-fat, 2%, 1% all the way down to 0% (at that point I think you could just drink water.)</li></ul><h2 id="1fe4">Dropping the milk!</h2><p id="5603">Now, let me ask you this, have you ever had the experience of watching a gallon of milk fall from a rather high place to the concrete floor and burst open. Milk splatters and splashes everywhere as it floods and seeps into nooks and crannies you never knew existed before.</p><p id="71cc">Having formerly worked in a grocery store, I actually have on more than one occasion. The worst is when it occurs in a doorway. What an f-ing mess to clean up!</p><p id="3314">I’ve witnessed lots of things drop to the floor and make an f-ing mess — it’s almost a rite of passage for newbie grocery store workers. You can’t fully be <i>one of us</i> unless you drop something on the floor and make a huge f-ing mess for yourself to clean up. It’s just part of the initiation.</p><p id="dc53">A bottle of wine here, a jar of pasta sauce there (dreadful awful mess) — surprisingly terrible is the strawberry syrup that comes in a squeezy bottle. It sticks to the floor worse than glue and wants to dry and congeal fast and if you don’t get up every single bit the store might end up with a lawsuit on their hands when someone slips on it and you’ll get fired, maybe.</p><p id="94fb">The very worse, though —egg

Options

s, a whole cartoon of eggs cracked open on a highly polished store floor. Picking up eggs, even with the special store paper towels, is far from easy. Eggs have a sneaky way of slipping out of the paper towel and right back down to the floor. Just too fun.</p><p id="647c">Anyway, back to the milk. One of the oddest things I ever saw while working in the grocery store is when I found a gallon of milk deeply wedged behind a row of magazines near the checkout counter. I mean, someone would have had to go to some real effort to stuff it behind there. People are sick, but also inventive, sometimes.</p><h2 id="94ba">Adding creativity to buying milk</h2><p id="271b">As far as a trip to the grocery store, what if you stroll up to the milk cooler and observe that all the milk is green — freak of nature!</p><p id="6f76">What is going on? Why is all the milk green? Has something changed in the make up of the standard cow? Is it Saint Patrick’s Day? Did aliens invade? Did a nuclear energy plant explode? Are you a character in an episode of <i>The Simpsons</i>?</p><h2 id="b0be">Conclusion</h2><p id="da7d">Hopefully my attempt to add interest to buying milk has been at least somewhat successful and you’ve taken away a practical and immediately applicable lesson.</p><p id="a5fa">Make things interesting for your readers! For the love of God, please! It’s lovely to write about your grandparents — they are awesome people for sure — but ask yourself if the details you’re providing are of interest only to you or to your readers as well.</p><p id="5db1"><b><i>What about you? How could you jazz up an ordinary trip to the grocery store?</i></b></p></article></body>

The Writing Biz

Writing Exercise: The Example of Buying Milk

Improve your writing one step at a time

News flash. As writers, our lives to others, who have no clue who we are yet, is like buying milk. It’s not that they don’t care but they lack any kind of connection to us as yet.

All of us are cardboard cutouts until we add dimension, interest, and connection to the equation.

The example of buying milk

Buying milk is crazy boring! No one likes boredom. No one.

Let’s for a moment, though, imagine all the interesting and potentially wild things that can happen on an otherwise ordinary trip to the grocery store to buy milk.

How can I make this trip to the grocery store to get milk extraordinary?

Or, more simply, how can I make it interesting, not just for me, but for my dear readers as well.

Adding interest to buying milk

Variety

First of all, buying milk these days is much different than it used to be. There are so many varieties:

almond
coconut
almond coconut blend (my favorite choice these days)
oat
cashew
A2 or lactose-free
organic
flavored: chocolate, strawberry, vanilla, Cinnamon Toast Crunch (for real, it’s a flavor)
grass fed (often features a cow standing in a pasture chomping on grass, lest you doubt it’s authenticity.)
full-fat, 2%, 1% all the way down to 0% (at that point I think you could just drink water.)

Dropping the milk!

Now, let me ask you this, have you ever had the experience of watching a gallon of milk fall from a rather high place to the concrete floor and burst open. Milk splatters and splashes everywhere as it floods and seeps into nooks and crannies you never knew existed before.

Having formerly worked in a grocery store, I actually have on more than one occasion. The worst is when it occurs in a doorway. What an f-ing mess to clean up!

I’ve witnessed lots of things drop to the floor and make an f-ing mess — it’s almost a rite of passage for newbie grocery store workers. You can’t fully be one of us unless you drop something on the floor and make a huge f-ing mess for yourself to clean up. It’s just part of the initiation.

A bottle of wine here, a jar of pasta sauce there (dreadful awful mess) — surprisingly terrible is the strawberry syrup that comes in a squeezy bottle. It sticks to the floor worse than glue and wants to dry and congeal fast and if you don’t get up every single bit the store might end up with a lawsuit on their hands when someone slips on it and you’ll get fired, maybe.

The very worse, though —eggs, a whole cartoon of eggs cracked open on a highly polished store floor. Picking up eggs, even with the special store paper towels, is far from easy. Eggs have a sneaky way of slipping out of the paper towel and right back down to the floor. Just too fun.

Anyway, back to the milk. One of the oddest things I ever saw while working in the grocery store is when I found a gallon of milk deeply wedged behind a row of magazines near the checkout counter. I mean, someone would have had to go to some real effort to stuff it behind there. People are sick, but also inventive, sometimes.

Adding creativity to buying milk

As far as a trip to the grocery store, what if you stroll up to the milk cooler and observe that all the milk is green — freak of nature!

What is going on? Why is all the milk green? Has something changed in the make up of the standard cow? Is it Saint Patrick’s Day? Did aliens invade? Did a nuclear energy plant explode? Are you a character in an episode of The Simpsons?

Conclusion

Hopefully my attempt to add interest to buying milk has been at least somewhat successful and you’ve taken away a practical and immediately applicable lesson.

Make things interesting for your readers! For the love of God, please! It’s lovely to write about your grandparents — they are awesome people for sure — but ask yourself if the details you’re providing are of interest only to you or to your readers as well.

What about you? How could you jazz up an ordinary trip to the grocery store?