Writing About My Personal Life on Medium

Summary

Linda Kowalchek, a writer on Medium, grapples with the decision to share her personal struggles with bipolar disorder to maintain transparency and authenticity while balancing her need for privacy.

Abstract

Linda Kowalchek discusses the challenges of writing about personal life on Medium, particularly when it involves sensitive topics like her experience with bipolar disorder. She has been trying to find a balance between being transparent and authentic in her writing and maintaining her privacy. However, she feels compelled to share her story to help others who may be facing similar challenges, despite the potential for stigma and discrimination. Kowalchek acknowledges that her brain chemistry, which she likens to a chronic illness, has a significant impact on her life, similar to how physical ailments like back problems can control someone's life. She reflects on a period of severe depression that left her bedridden for five years and how new medication has allowed her to start a new life. Kowalchek believes that by sharing her experiences, she can assist others in managing their daily challenges, and she encourages other writers to find their own balance between transparency, authenticity, and privacy.

Opinions

The author believes that transparency and authenticity in her writing are more important than her privacy.
She feels that sharing her personal story about living with bipolar disorder can benefit many readers who are in similar situations.
Kowalchek views her condition as a chronic illness, akin to physical ailments, that requires accommodation in her daily life

Do I really want to go there?

Medium has a place for virtually every kind of writing imaginable. Articles range from the informative “just the facts” type at one end of the spectrum to the articles that are more of a personal essay where the writer spills their guts and airs every piece of dirty laundry they have. There is an audience for everything on Medium, with some styles being more popular than others.

During my brief time writing on Medium, I have tried to find a happy middle ground, yet I keep getting pulled more toward revealing personal information. I’ve been resisting that pull because I’m trying to maintain my privacy, but it’s becoming more difficult to stay quiet about my personal life.

As I write about my experience reading and writing on Medium, I find that the things I want to say are sometimes coming about because of a part of my life that I have been trying to keep quiet about, due to stigma and discrimination. So, I leave those parts out.

This is when transparency, authenticity, and privacy collide.

I want to share everything with the reader that I feel is relevant (transparency). I want to be truthful in my writing (authenticity). But I also want to maintain a comfortable degree of privacy concerning my personal life.

I’ve come to realize that transparency and authenticity are far most important to me than my privacy. My privacy will have to be sacrificed to a point where I might have to deal with some crap from ignorant people if I’m going to maintain a suitable degree of transparency and authenticity.

I’m going to take that risk because many people can benefit from me telling my story. I firmly believe that many people read and write on Medium who are in situations similar to mine.

I have bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depression. You can think of it as a mental illness. Or you can also look at it as a chronic illness, a mood disorder, a chemical imbalance, or even a brain illness. I have heard all of those terms to characterize the condition I have.

I have found that I am frequently finding ways to accommodate my situation. My brain chemistry controls my life a lot. There are days when the depression is so bad that I cannot get out of bed. Sort of like when someone with back problems wakes up in the morning and realizes they will not be going to work because they can’t get out of bed. Their back controls their life: different cause, but the same effect.

In contrast, no one calls someone with a bad back, a nutcase, or crazy. There isn’t the same degree of stigma and discrimination with a bad back as with bad brain chemistry.

Recently, I had a five year period where I was virtually bedridden due to depression. Fortunately, due to a new medication, I got some relief.

So now I get to start a new life that accommodates my mood disorder. That’s a challenge, but it’s far better than being in a severe depression.

I think there are plenty of people reading and writing on Medium who relate to my situation because they are rebuilding their lives, or accommodating challenges that they have to face every day for one reason or another. Different cause, but same effect.

I believe that each of us is put on this planet to help others by sharing lessons that we have learned from our own lives. For that reason, I will start writing about some of the challenges that I face while living with a chronic condition, so that others can also benefit, and hopefully better manage their daily challenges.

I encourage anyone who feels that they can help others with the lessons they have learned, to look inside themselves, and find the balance of transparency, authenticity, and privacy, that is right for them. That balance is different for everyone. There is no right or wrong; it’s an individual choice not to be second-guessed by anyone.

We all have challenges as a result of the hand we are dealt daily. No matter the source, these challenges often lead to a life that feels out of control and is full of disappointment and unfulfilled dreams: different cause, but the same effect. Your words, spoken or written, might make a difference.

Linda Kowalchek is a work in progress and a member of the typewriter generation. She spends her time with her husband and her rescue cats, waiting for golf balls to crash through their windows. PSA: Don’t live next to a golf course.