Writing about BDSM?

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Abstract

p><p id="80b2">What words can writers use instead of ‘punishment’?</p><p id="60ec">Discipline, suggests instruction, learning, to bring to a state of obedience and seems to have more positive connotations. It fits well with the power dynamic of less extreme BDSM where the submissive surrenders control to a benevolent but firm master or mistress.</p><p id="d829">Correction, punishment intended to reform, improve, or rehabilitate. In the UK this summons up images of an attractive school teacher with a red pen whilst in the US it may be associated with prisoners in grey cells.</p><p id="6d61">Just deserts. I like this (and yes it is spelt correctly) as it means, receiving what one is deserving of and can be applied to a punishment or a reward which is exactly what BDSM is. Of course, it does bring to mind someone being covered in trifle (that is where the other s comes in, as in desserts) but then, I am talking about fetishes here.</p><p id="f87b">Flagellation, a masochistic or sadistic act in which the participants receive erotic stimulation from whipping or being whipped. There seems to be two problems with this word. Firstly it conjures up images of quite extreme acts and secondly, in the reader’s mind it suggests a male supplicant. Fine, if that is what you are writing about but not a universal term.</p><p id="b049">I quite like the idea of corporal discipline since corporal means of the body and discipline is a little more positive than punishment.</p><p id="9357">Which words we use influence our readers but they also need to understand them and their use depends heavily on context and the reader’s age, sex and cultural heritage. Using corporal discipline in a book blurb is simply going to confuse whereas spanking is instantly understandable to most people and has a sexual subtext in this context.</p><p id="1b68">You might have read this and had completely different images conjured up in you mind. What are they and what are your favourite words to use in this context? Feel free to comment and disagree.</p><p id="8870">Definitions used from a variety or dictionaries including <a href="https://dictionary.cambridge.org/"><i>

Options

The Cambridge Dictionary</i></a>, <a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/"><i>Merriam-Webster</i></a><i> </i>and <a href="https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/just-deserts.html"><i>Phrase Finder</i></a></p><p id="121e"><b><i>More on writing erotica</i></b></p><div id="3fb4" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/writing-about-just-sex-is-like-eating-the-cream-without-the-strawberries-3d22690100bf"> <div> <div> <h2>Writing about just sex is like eating the cream without the strawberries</h2> <div><h3>Stories should be served up on a bed of plot that has a generous helping of sex spread over it.</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*ZptfFs6QrjBwg1HhI35A5A.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="d35c" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/grab-my-erotic-imagination-8754285113a2"> <div> <div> <h2>Grab Me by the Imagination</h2> <div><h3>How to engage me as a reader of erotica</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*q3gqOJNg9KkfXAI_bpA8XQ.png)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="323b" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/write-a-book-a-month-please-dont-374e63f9d60f"> <div> <div> <h2>Write a Book a Month — Please Don’t</h2> <div><h3>Creating a happy medium for readers</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*h2KJAEIOcsXAJKeRJ40Gyg.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Spanking? Punishment? Which words do you use?

Writers have a huge number of words available to describe spankings, whippings and canings within a BDSM themed story but the vocabulary of BDSM can be confusing.

The words spanking, whipping and caning are associated with punishment, a word that suggests a penalty imposed for wrongdoing. What images do they conjure up in the reader’s imagination? To have any idea of this you need to know who your target reader is.

Think about spanking — what was the first thing you thought of? If you are over 40 and live in Europe it might have been a schoolboy in the headmaster’s office. If you live in some far Eastern countries it may still be that image. Under 40 you may have thought about it in a sexual context.

Spanking has evolved to include ‘for sexual pleasure’. Society has changed its use of the word as attitudes to the use of spanking as a punishment have changed. Forty years ago, ‘I administered a good spanking,’ might cause a nod of approval whereas now it might cause a giggle and the imagined recipient would be a completely different age.

A lot of my books and short stories feature dominant women and men who are quite capable of wielding a paddle, whip or cane but their intention is not to punish. Within my stories the actions are consensual and the recipient gains pleasure from the acts.

Apart from the role play aspects, BDSM is not about punishment or control it is about the enjoyment of the pain inflicted. In order to be enjoyable that pain must be inflicted at precisely the right level. It could be anything from the tweak of a nipple to a full forced stroke with a cane. The best way to punish a submissive in the true sense of the word would be to deny them a spanking.

What words can writers use instead of ‘punishment’?

Discipline, suggests instruction, learning, to bring to a state of obedience and seems to have more positive connotations. It fits well with the power dynamic of less extreme BDSM where the submissive surrenders control to a benevolent but firm master or mistress.

Correction, punishment intended to reform, improve, or rehabilitate. In the UK this summons up images of an attractive school teacher with a red pen whilst in the US it may be associated with prisoners in grey cells.

Just deserts. I like this (and yes it is spelt correctly) as it means, receiving what one is deserving of and can be applied to a punishment or a reward which is exactly what BDSM is. Of course, it does bring to mind someone being covered in trifle (that is where the other s comes in, as in desserts) but then, I am talking about fetishes here.

Flagellation, a masochistic or sadistic act in which the participants receive erotic stimulation from whipping or being whipped. There seems to be two problems with this word. Firstly it conjures up images of quite extreme acts and secondly, in the reader’s mind it suggests a male supplicant. Fine, if that is what you are writing about but not a universal term.

I quite like the idea of corporal discipline since corporal means of the body and discipline is a little more positive than punishment.

Which words we use influence our readers but they also need to understand them and their use depends heavily on context and the reader’s age, sex and cultural heritage. Using corporal discipline in a book blurb is simply going to confuse whereas spanking is instantly understandable to most people and has a sexual subtext in this context.

You might have read this and had completely different images conjured up in you mind. What are they and what are your favourite words to use in this context? Feel free to comment and disagree.

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