Write This, Not That
Part 4 of 5: Tips for taking your fiction to the next level.
Part 4: Overlapping the Senses
“Gee, Joolz, what are we gonna do tonight?”
“The same thing we do every night, Writer. Try to take over the writing world.”
Is it possible to see smells?
To taste a touch?
To hear pain?
Only if we’re in the hands of a skilled writer.
The overlapping of senses is as common as overlapping shingles on a roof, but few people realize it.
Take taste and smell for example. These two senses are more intertwined than overlapped; it’s hard to have one without the other.
Just try to enjoy a bowl of no-chicken noodle soup (it’s a real soup — I’m a vegetarian) when you have a cold — very hard to do.
The sensations that evoke taste when something is put in the mouth are complex and involve much more than taste alone.
It’s our jobs as writers to create — with our words — those same complex sensations.
As you draw on the power of sense, you will draw the reader into the story.
How?
It’s easy — just unlearn what you learned in school about the five senses.
1. More Than Five
We are all familiar with the big five: sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste.
But wait, there’s more.
In recent years, some scientists (okay, maybe only anthropologists, but they’re really smart too) have added to the list of senses:
- balance (internal and external)
- temperature (feeling hot or cold)
- pain (internal and external)
- kinesthetic (body position and movement)
- and, of course, there’s the big one that our Western culture tends to dismiss — intuition (the gut sense)
Now that you know there are more than 5 senses, it’s time to start connecting the dots.
2. Intentional Word Use
Before we start connecting the senses, let’s take a look at individual words and the power they have.
Consider words like hammer or splash — when you read these words, you immediately hear the sounds they make.
Words like perfume or garbage evoke specific smells because of associations.
With words such as leathery and rough, we feel the callouses on grandmother’s hand.
And there are also onomatopoeia words that sound like what they do, such as sizzle or hiccup.
Choosing the right word to awaken the senses of your reader can be as simple as including the right word in the right place.
But let’s get extreme, shall we?
3. Connect the Dots
If there are more than five senses and they are ALL connected, how can we use that to engage our readers?
Here are some examples:
Seeing Pain: Shortly after one o’clock, Norman woke up. The pressure inside his head burned bright in the shadows of his bedroom.
The word pressure indicates pain and burned bright calls forth the image of fire.
Smelling Touch:
Sylvia was ready. Reaching for his hand, she inhaled the warmth of their linked fingers before telling him what she had never told another soul.
The word inhaled cues the reader’s sense of smell, while the warmth of their linked fingers tangles that sense of smell with the sensation of skin-on-skin contact.
These examples offer a bit more than phrases like “black rage” or “cold touch.” We’re interested in more than simply coloring emotions.
Here are a few more:
Kinesthetic Sound: “I suppose you know . . .” her voice, surprised and upset, but in no way desperate, tripped toward me from across the room.
The phrase tripped toward me refers to her voice. We get a sense that the words she’s saying are halted and uncertain. The additional across the room phrase simply adds to the uncomfortable distance the speaker is trying to navigate.
Imbalancing Intuition: It was the younger woman who wanted to know everything. Her eager face monopolizing the conversation, tilting my confidence, and leaving my many years of hard-earned hunches trampled.
Words like titling and trampled speak to the idea of balance for our protagonist. The word confidence and the phrase many years of hard-earned hunches evoke the intuition element for the reader.
4. Your turn!
Pick any two senses, or three if you’re an over-achiever, from the list and tie them together with a bow that sounds as beautiful as it looks — a jingling crescent perhaps?
“Are you pondering what I’m pondering, Writer?”
“Yes, Joolz, but I really don’t think that lady with the sunglasses can see any better than the rest of us.”
If you found this article interesting, I accept hugs in the form of
— Generous highlighting and applause
— Copious comments spilling with gratitude and deep-thoughts
— Scads of followers Julie Nyhus MSN, FNP-BC
— Positive thoughts directed my way
In peace and light,
Joolz
This is part 4 of a 5 part series.