Wow! She’s Smokin’

What if smokin’ meant more than just being hot?

At what age is someone smokin’? This slang term means all of the following: hot, physically attractive, excellent, sexy. Terms like this aren’t really offensive, or really innocuous either. They are suspended somewhere between the lewdness of the past and the sensitivity of the present.

Linguistically, and in the wake of the #Me Too movement, it’s time to re-frame the context of this word. Let the specter of the loutish use of this word give way to a much more respectable connotation.

Smokin’ could take on the characteristics of a few words: agile, competent, energetic and in the flow. Instead of a catcall, it could be a descriptor of someone moving in their element, doing something with such rhythm as to suggest that any other way of doing the task would be just inferior or wrong.

I don’t see people smokin’ so much lately, mostly because I’ve been staying close to home, except for the weekly trip to my local Costco. However, if you look hard enough, you can find smokin’ people just about anywhere.

Just the other day I witnessed a rare performance: a checkout lady who wasn’t just packing groceries, but smokin’. She was wearing her Costco blazer and a bright toothy smile as she asked for my card and started strategically organizing my stuff right there on the conveyor belt.

Then the performance began: she masterfully made two neat piles of blueberries, leaning them at a ninety-degree angle on the side of my cart. Next, she added a few boxes of cereal to secure the melon that was sure to wobble around, were it not for the boundaries set by boxes of Cheerios .

They, too, were barricaded by protein shakes and spinach cakes. She made a neat pile of tube socks and placed a small bouquet of flowers on the upper level of the cart so they wouldn’t be squished. Then, she twirled the barcode sensor and blipped in the package of bottled water.

When she handed me the receipt, I wanted to clap, but I just said, “Wow, you’re so great at this!”

I should have said, “You’re smokin’” as that would have been the more accurate term, but certainly it is best to refrain from reckless use of such a term. She might have thought I was finding her sexually attractive, which I wasn’t. Or, she could have accused me of harassment, which she didn’t. When she smiled, I knew we both thought she was super.

Another connotation of smokin’ could be sheer exuberance about even the most mundane activities. Smokin’ could be an antonym for passive.

Passive is walking around like it’s not a miracle that you got out of bed, dressed appropriately for the weather, even though during the quarantine, you’re not going anywhere.

Lately, it’s like everyone is singing a dirge rather than an opera. We’re finding it hard to be smokin’. We could laugh raucously, sing at the top of our lungs and jump up and down with happiness; we could be smokin’, but we’re mostly passive.

How did it get this way? It’s because Amazon delivers to your door; cars will be picking you up and delivering you to your destinations, and propaganda news will be filtered into your brain.

I believe we are moving into an era of passivity: Bring it to me, take me there, and let me do everything from my house. Yet, some scientists are researching ways to tamper with our genes so that we can live longer? Whatever for? What good is living longer if everything is done for you and you can’t even say someone is “smokin’” at the checkout line?

At what age is someone “smokin’”? I guess at any age where you can laugh raucously, jump up and down with happiness and do a job with such alacrity and skill that you are composing a symphony in your head as you do it.

I hope the thought police don’t ban this word, but re-define it, as it just needs a little tweaking; plus, it has such rich connotations and is so much fun to use! How do you use this word? Share it in the comments below!