Would You Relive Your Life As Is?
In what is considered his exuberant return, Friedrich Nietzsche had this revelation in the mountains of Sils Maria, Switzerland:
“What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: ‘This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more’ … Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: ‘You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine.” — Friedrich Nietzsche
It is a question worth asking. Answering it, enables us to take stock of the road travelled thus far but more importantly, provide insight as to what type of road we wish to travel in the future. If the answer to Nietzsche’s revelation is not a resounding “YES!”, what needs to change to make it so?
Accepting discomfort and imperfection
A blissful life from start to finish is, shall we say, improbable and arguably detrimental to achieving contentment. It has been argued that creating meaning in life is accomplished by overcoming adversity. If that is so, should we not only expect adversity but embrace it when confronted by it? It is easier said than done; and what type of adversity are we referring to? Losing a job or a romantic relationship are indeed considerable obstacles to overcome but are different in nature than childhood traumas. They (childhood traumas) operate on a different, deeper level and require introspection and emotional excavation to be identified.
Understanding your family’s emotional legacy
If overcoming adversity is the goal, a deeper understanding of one’s family’s emotional legacy is instrumental to achieving that end. Living in a dysfunctional family, substance abuse, divorce, difficult relationships with siblings; all these situations can have profound psychological and emotional impacts on how we, as adults, deal with adversity. A little introspection into one’s (past) family dynamics can lead to understanding, achieving mastery over one’s perceptions and emotions, and ultimately improve one’s ability to overcome life’s challenges. This is no easy task and requires commitment and perseverance. Defense mechanisms and emotional safeguards created during our formative years can run deep and act up in subtle ways. Ultimately, we must make peace with our family’s emotional legacy; that is, while we may not forget, we must forgive.
Taking control, no more suffering.
Fear, anger, and sadness; these emotions stem from unresolved issues as well as unmet expectations. Becoming aware of their presence in relationships and interactions is key to controlling them and eliminating (emotional) suffering. Decisions should certainly not be made while under their influence. Decisions should be made when there is peace of mind and heart. Only then can we view life’s obstacles as opportunities rather than setbacks. Solutions to problems suddenly become accessible.
Overcoming leads to becoming.
Since the past cannot be changed and the future is unwritten, we must regularly check in on what needs to change in our lives so that we can become what we wish to be. Social media is replete with slogans such as: “YOLO” or “Live your best life”; they are hurled at us like confetti. While these reminders may be useful, they merely scratch the surface. Genuine contentment is achieved through (self) understanding and work. It is never too late to answer “Yes” to Nietzsche’s question.