AMERICAN PROMETHEUS

Would You Rather Date Online or Date in Real Life?

Play this game if you’re single or about to be divorced

Would you rather be lying on a waterbed comfortably without any clothes, texting your potential girlfriend on Bumble “Sup! How’s it going there?”

Or go on an actual date wearing green ripped jeans, a coral pink shirt, black latex gloves, and a yellow baseball cap, and say to your potential white wife, “Sup! How’s it going there?”?

Would you rather adroitly lie on your Tinder dating profile about your age, your relationship history (there is no history), and that you graduated from Harvard —

Or go on an actual date, where you adroitly lie to the girl you badly need to impress because your grandfather told you, “She is THE ONE. Win her over. Lie to her better than I lied to your potential grandmother,” then show THE ONE the fake versions of your birth certificate, recommendation letters from all your fake exes and a Harvard diploma that an actual tender-hearted Harvard dropout consented to fabricate for you for 50 bucks?

Would you rather sit at home alone and text your Hinge date “Nudes, please!” even before you get drunk on a Saturday night but after you watched a YouTube tutorial video called “How to ask an actual girl (not bots) for nudes without looking desperate, pathetic, and too forward?”….

Or go on an actual date Saturday night, eat a full meal, get drunk, and then on Monday morning, ask her “Nudes, please! Forget I even asked if you’re a bot.”?

Would you rather text your Tinder date about how brilliant Cillian Murphy was, playing J. Robert Oppenheimer and proudly tell her you read the book American Prometheus on which the movie Oppenheimer was based, even before Christopher Nolan did….

Or go on an actual date, dressed as Cillian Murphy from Oppenheimer, and proudly tell her that you read the book American Prometheus, even before Christopher Nolan did?….

OR would you rather go on an actual date (with a girl you met on Tinder), dressed as Cillian Murphy from Oppenheimer, and proudly text her the fun fact — that ONLY you know — that Christopher Nolan only read the book because Robert Pattinson gifted him the book after the movie Tenet, but you read the book even before even Robert Pattinson did?

Would you rather get suddenly unmatched on Hinge by a girl who chatted with you endlessly for two full days and even pinky-promised you that she would marry you on April, 31 until you asked her, “So, have YOU read American Prometheus?” only to learn she doesn’t even know who Cillian Murphy is or how to pronounce his name….

Or go on an actual date, and your potential wife tells you, “I’m unmatching you. Why? I don’t like your ripped jeans. It’s not ripped enough,” then actually says “poof” before she immediately goes “poof”?

Would you rather upload pictures of yourself on your Tinder profile, including ones of you dressed as Cillian Murphy from Oppenheimer with the caption “Nudes, please! ONLY if you’re a bot!”….

Or go on an actual date, enthusiastically showing her pictures of you dressed as Cillian Murphy from Oppenheimer, only to find out she actually graduated from Harvard the same year you fake-graduated so she confronts you, “How did you forge that diploma, fake Oppenheimer?” causing your smoking to intensify because you’re elegantly dressed as a bot dressed as Cillian Murphy dressed as J. Robert Oppenheimer?

Wouldn’t you rather be laughing? Follow MuddyUm and maybe Srini

I owe T. Kent Jones who adroitly gave me tips on how to give tips.

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