Would You Love Me If I Was a Worm? [A Must Read for Men]

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if she was a worm, or maybe what kind of animal would you be, if you could be any animal? Seems like harmless imagination driven fun? Again, WRONG!She is not a stoic philosopher trying to get your honest thoughts on your true capacity to love your newly transformed partner. She is a girl, more specificially, your girl asking you to tell her how much you love her. She wants you to be cute and over the top dramatic in that moment. She has seen 473 different, fake, scripted responses online and now she wants to hear your best most worm loving confession. There are wrong answers and her feelings are on the line.When first confronted with these types of conversations you might think they’re just silly hypotheticals, and they are. With your friends you could make up silly answers and its all in good fun. With her, well you have three choices.<ul><li>1. You can put a stop to it right away, telling her you don’t want to engage in silly nonsense she grabbed off the internet. This will probably yield you a break up down the line. Girls want to have fun with their partners.</li><li>2. You can be over the top wild with

Options

your response in a fun but negative way. You could get all excited and tell her that you’re going fishing RIGHT NOW! I’m going to take you down to the lake and catch the fattest, juciest Bass with that curvy worm body. Really just have fun with it.</li><li>3. Stay over the top, but this time overdo the positive. Girl if you were a worm i’d immediately throw on a video on worm farming, build you the perfect little wormy habitat, gently kiss your wormy forehead then go find the wizard that did this, become his pupil, learn the craft and come return you to your perfect beautiful human form.</li></ul>There are ways to beat this trap. Not playing is always an option, but it’s far less fun. Taking any other option than the three I put forth will yield hurt feelings and drama. You don’t need that in your life. Don’t get me wrong, the drama is her fault. She is the one who got herself turned into a worm, you were minding your own business shopping for early bird sales.<figure id="ddc8"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*guRQ0ppVhX9VBTtbqLg9UA.jpeg"><figcaption>Photo by my father Ken</figcaption></figure></article></body>

A gentlemans guide to surviving the wild hypotethicals that fly your way in a relationship

Photo by Jonathan Kemper on Unsplash

When discussing hypotheticals comes up, men tend to fall into 1 of 2 camps. The first is to completely disregard the conversation as childish or annoying, the second is to fully engage in the fictional world and discuss their first or second inclinations.

Male friends engage in this way all the time and, because its fictional, there usually are no wrong answers or judgement. Ideas flow freely and bounce off one another as they seek the best possible outcome in the given circumstance, and then they move on to something else.

Having hypothetical conversations with your girlfriend or wife seems like it should follow the same rules. Its fictional, there are no wrong answers. WRONG! Don’t believe me? Well then i’d wager your girlfriend has never asked you if you would love her if she was a worm, or maybe what kind of animal would you be, if you could be any animal? Seems like harmless imagination driven fun? Again, WRONG!

She is not a stoic philosopher trying to get your honest thoughts on your true capacity to love your newly transformed partner. She is a girl, more specificially, your girl asking you to tell her how much you love her. She wants you to be cute and over the top dramatic in that moment. She has seen 473 different, fake, scripted responses online and now she wants to hear your best most worm loving confession. There are wrong answers and her feelings are on the line.

When first confronted with these types of conversations you might think they’re just silly hypotheticals, and they are. With your friends you could make up silly answers and its all in good fun. With her, well you have three choices.

1. You can put a stop to it right away, telling her you don’t want to engage in silly nonsense she grabbed off the internet. This will probably yield you a break up down the line. Girls want to have fun with their partners.

2. You can be over the top wild with your response in a fun but negative way. You could get all excited and tell her that you’re going fishing RIGHT NOW! I’m going to take you down to the lake and catch the fattest, juciest Bass with that curvy worm body. Really just have fun with it.

3. Stay over the top, but this time overdo the positive. Girl if you were a worm i’d immediately throw on a video on worm farming, build you the perfect little wormy habitat, gently kiss your wormy forehead then go find the wizard that did this, become his pupil, learn the craft and come return you to your perfect beautiful human form.

There are ways to beat this trap. Not playing is always an option, but it’s far less fun. Taking any other option than the three I put forth will yield hurt feelings and drama. You don’t need that in your life. Don’t get me wrong, the drama is her fault. She is the one who got herself turned into a worm, you were minding your own business shopping for early bird sales.

Photo by my father Ken