Would Jesus Attend a Gay Wedding?

The Divine Call for Love Over Legalism

I’ve just finished reading an article on a conservative Christian news website entitled “Christians Should Never Attend a Gay Wedding.” (I guess these particular Christians must be having a slow news day if they think that this is a headline).

In the offending article, theologian and author Carl Trueman argues that Christians should never attend LGBTQ+ weddings, as doing so, in his view, implies an endorsement of the relationship and undermines fundamental teachings in the New Testament and the essence of Christ.

I couldn’t agree with him less.

Here’s why.

The Letter of the Law vs The Spirit of the Law

I want to preface what I am about to say here by making it clear that I am fully affirming of LBGTQ+ folk, and if I ever happen to be invited to a same-sex wedding (and I hope I will be), you can bet I would be there with bells on to celebrate.

However, let’s imagine for a moment that you were the kind of Christian who wasn’t affirming of same-sex marriage. I’m not here to change your mind, even though I disagree with your position. Rather, I would argue that if your LGBTQ+ friends happened to offer you an invitation to their same-sex wedding, there is still a very good Biblical reason why you should attend.

Here it is: People always matter more than the letter of the law. Why would you destroy a relationship for the sake of being “right” — at least in your eyes?

We regularly see Jesus — supposedly God in human form — breaking God’s own laws in the interest of taking the most loving course of action. I mean, Jesus regularly breaks the Sabbath laws to heal and minister to people on a day when there was supposed to be complete rest from all work.

Now, you might argue that when Jesus healed on the Sabbath, he wasn’t breaking the law at all. Rather, it was that Jesus interpreted those laws differently (probably correctly) from the people who were so offended by his breaking of those laws. I submit that the laws in the Bible that appear to forbid homosexual relationships are also subject to interpretation. One person interprets those laws one way; one interprets those laws another.

Personally, I find the Biblical case against the condemnation of same-sex relationships compelling enough for me to celebrate all forms of mutual love between two consenting adults.

But, in the end, the interpretation that Jesus always appears to choose is the one that offers the most grace and compassion to the individual who is subject to that law. Consider the woman brought before Jesus who was caught in the act of adultery. He lets the woman walk away Scott-free, telling her that he does not condemn her. In so doing, Jesus breaks the law — Leviticus 20:10 to be precise: “If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife — with the wife of his neighbor — both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death.”

Here, Jesus has clearly broken God’s own law. Yet, Christians believe he was without sin. What shall we say to this? It is clear that there is something that matters more to God than keeping laws.

It’s people.

I mean, what kind of God creates people just to keep his rules? And let’s be honest, some of the Biblical laws seem to have neither rhyme nor reason. It’s the spirit of the law that matters more.

Always.

If Jesus ignores the law for the sake of the person, then that’s good enough for me.

So, Why Even Have Laws?

Does that mean that we should let lawlessness reign? Should we always let everyone off?

Absolutely not!

The laws in the Bible were given to a people in a particular context at a certain time in history where most of those laws made complete sense and were good for the proper functioning of that society. However, I believe these laws were given with a particular purpose in mind — to enable humans to relate in ways that foster justice, compassion, and community. The laws were meant to guide a community toward a deeper understanding of love and respect for one another.

In other words, laws are there to help people relate to each other well. They aren’t there just because God wants to be obeyed. That makes God out to be petty and narcissistic.

But if the primary purpose of God’s law is to show us how to love each other well, then, by this definition, sin is more about committing actions that hurt others than offending God.

On this basis, we are free to ask ourselves, “What is the most loving course of action?” when it comes to how we deal with people. And if that course of action leads us to break one of God’s laws, then we are still keeping another of God’s laws by loving our neighbor as we love ourselves and, through that, demonstrating in real terms that we love God. By the way, Jesus Christ boiled the entire law of the Bible down to those two points:

Love God.

Love others.

Simple.

The Last Word

So, back to the question at hand: Would Jesus attend a gay wedding?

Yes.

That’s what I believe. And I’d be right there with him. The reason is simple: No one is hurt in the process of two mutually consenting adults expressing their love toward each other in a life-long commitment, even if they happen to be the same gender.

And if no one is hurt, and love is expressed, then I can’t call it a sin.

On the contrary, I think God is probably quite fond of such things.

Dan Foster is the author of “Leaving Church, Finding God: Discovering Faith Beyond Organized Religion.”

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