Worry Once, Suffer Twice
Worrying about a problem only adds one more layer of stress to the process of finding a solution.
Worry is the anticipation or fear of some event (usually unpleasant) that may or may not be somewhere on the horizon of life. It can be based on past experience, evaluation of current events or just random, free-floating anxiety. Some people use worry as their first line of defense for anything and everything in life. After all, public display of worry can be a great attention grabber if you’re the type of person who thrives on being perpetually needy. The propensity towards worry can come from a variety of sources. Some people seem to be born worriers. Others were raised in an environment of chronic uncertainty that led them to doubt and question every event or motivation in their lives. The source doesn’t really matter — the outcome is the same. Worry, if it doesn’t result in a proactive response to ward off potential disaster (spoiler alert — it generally doesn’t), only serves to drain the energy from life.
If the concern precipitating the worry never comes to pass, the effort put into worrying was in vain. If the fears are realized, the initial worry was premature and still in vain because worry, in and of itself, has never solved anything.
Worry pulls the mind away from results-oriented thinking. Worry is just one more obstacle in the road to problem resolution. “Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere.” -Erma Bombeck
Why Worry about worrying?
Understanding the futility of worrying and taking positive steps to eliminate it are two different things.
The best way to accomplish your goals and to live your best life is with forward-directed thought and action. Mulling over what could go wrong is more likely to encourage a negative outcome than establishing a plan of action that resolves conflict and minimizes obstacles.
The best way to nip worry in the bud before it can take time and energy from your life involves becoming aware of the impact worry might have in your life and finding ways to circumvent it.
The next time worry strikes, step back a minute and make a list (mentally or in writing) of all your concerns, both the major, nagging issues and the minor, mostly annoying, problems.
Seeing potential threats in such an itemized form often helps to reduce them to a more manageable size. It will also be much easier to eliminate problems when you can chip away in small bites rather than having them come down on you in an avalanche. Picture yourself facing the worst case scenario in a problem. What would you or could you do to cope with a major crisis? Having coping mechanisms in place will do a lot to alleviate worry. On the plus side, in nearly every case, reality will be far less threatening than your greatest imagined fear. If you can see yourself surviving a major crisis, surely there is much less to worry about in terms of what might reasonably occur. Give yourself time to evaluate your options. A lot of worry is the result of a misplaced sense of urgency driving you to believe decisions must be made instantly or disaster will strike. Timing can do a lot to either calm or aggravate frazzled nerves. It makes more sense to make time your ally.
___________________________ A perfect example of the value of using time to your advantage is in the case of a disturbing medical diagnosis. Your first worried reaction is to do something, anything, right now to treat the problem — possibly leading to rash decisions — and maybe not the best possible outcome. In many cases, gathering information and test results, as well as seeking the advice of a second opinion, will calm down many of the overwhelming fears and let you take back control of your life and crucial health decisions.
____________________________ Getting outside your own head is important in minimizing worry. Trusted friends or, if necessary, professional advisors, can usually see a problem more dispassionately than you. Your own crazy, irrational fears can often be knocked down to size when you start to verbalize them to someone who doesn’t have a real stake in the outcome and can offer rational advice.
“Worry does not empty tomorrow is its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.” -Corrie Ten Boom No life is completely without trials and tribulations. So, while it may be reasonable to anticipate some bumps in the road, wringing your hands in despair in neither useful prior to a crisis nor while you are caught up in the middle of such a crisis. When calamity strikes, save yourself a second level of suffering — stop worrying!