Thoughts and Feelings

Have you ever wondered . . .?

One of my Mother’s favorite things to say was ‘Resign as Master of The Universe’ when I would torment myself with suffering from uncomfortable and disturbing thoughts about things that I could not control.

I’ve come to accept this truth because the thing in question is not alleviated by uncontrollably marinating in it or on it. For instance, I have lost sleep over animals and people down on their luck. The abuse of both has run rampant for as long as I can read about or see. The more that I obsess, the more that I see at every turn. I happen to live within minutes of homeless people and cats. The ways that my family and I have remedied these situations is to give whenever we possibly can. Be it spare cash, food, or clothing — in fact, my kids and I have come up with a plan to buy purses from the thrift stores and fill them with toiletry items for the women, and fanny packs or backpacks for the men. We keep spare cash in small amounts on us or in the car to hand out whenever we can.

There is a homeless cat population along the creek. People come throughout the day to deliver water and food for them. Little places and clearings have been created for them to have bowls of fresh water to drink. Place settings for their food and comfortable creations for their sleep are tucked into the low-hanging trees and bushes.

Of course, when I’m at home working, there are endless petitions that I sign and share during my day.

Back when I was married, I had allowed myself to become small in being so connected to my home with my husband being the breadwinner and before the children were old enough to go to school. Long story short, I became the classroom Mom and orchestrated with the other Mothers to organize and become part of celebrations such as birthday parties, holiday parties, and decorating the teachers' classroom doors. Soon after, I became a Yard Duty which turned out to be great fun! This opportunity got me to know the kids from a different perspective as well as meet more parents on a more relatable level. This led to the becoming of the crossing guard before and after school. This time in my life was nothing short of fantastic! I lost about 40 pounds because I started walking to and from work. I gained the confidence that I needed to love myself. I did, however, suddenly lose my own Mother who died in her sleep, God rest her Soul, this was a huge game changer and a different path to walk was created for me in all of this.

In turn, I began to value myself in the way that I always should have. After 32 years of marriage, we divorced. We had become quite a mismatch after all. My kids, pets and I did become homeless for a time.

The bottom line is, that knowing yourself and loving yourself is the key to recognizing the unhealthy, unsavory, and unwanted things in your realm and kicking them to the curb. Soon enough, these things won’t come into your orbit, and when or if they do, you can take control by putting them into perspective. Hence, my kids and I hand out to the homeless people and animals to share their plight in any way that we can so that others can help, too.

No, all of these situations cannot and will not be cured or remedied by just one person, but, all of us together can and will make a difference. Realize that all of us on this earth are connected. No one or thing is better than the other. I’ve had people say, “I’m not helping anyone who can’t help themselves!” To this, I say “There, but for the grace of God, go I.”

To recognize that others’ misfortune could be our own as we have played the role in our success or demise, acknowledging outside factors and the energy that goes with it. Ultimately, I must live with an open heart, being humble so that I am able to sleep well each night knowing that I am a part of this greater story that involves all of us.

The wisdom that I have gained from the life that I have lived thus far has become monumental as I continue to live on this earth within this creation surrounding me. To live each day better than the day before, I strive to become the person my dog knows me to be.

To create a better world, each of us must be the one willing to change and be that change.