World’s Best Example of Capitalism Gone Sideways

What’s more important: Loads of money, or mental health?

The award winner of the World’s Best Example of Capitalism Gone Sideways: Apollo Global Management

7 out of their 30 employees in their New York office — nearly 1/4 of its workforce — have quit their jobs over the last 3 months.

They walked away from salaries of $450+K per year because the toxic nature of the workplace and up-to-20-hour workdays were trashing their quality of life.

(What, only seven of 30?)

I’m reminded of Michael Douglas as Gordon Gecko in the 1987 film Wall Street: “Money never sleeps, pal”.

“I don’t want to be spending my time doing this. I don’t care how much you pay me”, said one Apollo Global Management employee, who concluded the lifestyle was just too toxic to bear.

So management came up with a plan.

I know what you’re thinking.

They changed the nature of the work to make it less demanding on its employees. And established a no-weekend-work policy. Thus demonstrating that they had learned from the recent unexpected loss of a good chunk of their staff. And had a modicum of compassion.

No. Friggin. Way.

Nope. They are offering $100–200K retention bonuses.

No change whatsoever to the boiler-room work environment that has proven that it breaks people.

I can imagine the conversation now:

Will a $100–200K bonus get you to forget about your quality of life, and remain our slave for another 18 months?

(You might find your job less annoying if you snorted some cocaine during your 4 hours per day off work. Now you can afford a coke habit.)

Apollo Global Management has just become the poster boy model for insensitivity to its associates' wellbeing, and callously thinking that every problem can be easily solved with more money.

It takes home the gold medal for the World’s Best Examples of Capitalism Gone Sideways.

I hope the rest of the staff quits as a protest against the MF’ing rude nature of this offer, and the company goes belly up.

Thus, perhaps, requiring the management to go looking for new jobs where they might have to work like they demanded of their employees. (Good luck explaining to a prospective employer why your company failed.)

Here’s the article I read today that triggered my rant:

From the article:

…The money sends a message to the employees who take it. That message is that the stuff about sleep and disrespectful bosses and family time was mainly for show. If you can be bought off in your late 20s for a chunky six figures, you’ve made your choice — it’s no good talking about work-life balance or ESG principles ten years later: people will just assume you’re asking to be bought off for seven figures. Anyone who got into one of the most coveted posts in the financial services industry has made their deal with the devil; Apollo is handing out the money mainly to remind them that the contract doesn’t provide a mechanism for you to get your soul back.

Apparently, ungodly work hours are fairly common in the Financial Services industry. The article alludes to wry jokes over drinks like: “you had 11pm Zoom calls? We used to dream of being given a 256 page pitch book to format at midnight on Saturday. I was allowed to close my eyes for ten seconds every third bank holiday. If there wasn’t a deal on”.

No doubt, Apollo and other firms like them hire the cream of the crop of recent MBA grads from prestigious schools. Lure them with mid-6-figure jobs. Then burn them out in just a few years.

Is it worth it to trade 140 precious hours of your 168-hour week for a mid-6-figure income? It would seem some think so. “I’ll just work up to the edge of burnout, then quit”.

Yeah, right. When their living standard has adjusted to $500K/year, I imagine the slightest thought of walking away from their gold mine gives them night sweats. How would they ever maintain their Porsche, and luxury condo, and trophy girlfriend? And perhaps, cocaine habit?

It’s no wonder depression, and even suicide are on the rise in the financial services industry.

This article pissed me off so much I just had to share my outrage with you.

Thanks for reading.