Worldly Re-entry Doesn’t Have To Be Scary, But For Some It Is

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

“Sometimes the hardest part isn’t letting go but rather learning to start over.”

– Nicole Sobon

I have never had a large group of friends. By the time we reach our thirties, or older, it gets harder for us to meet new people. This gets even harder if you are no longer working in an office. This is why it becomes even more important to nurture your friendships.

I lost my best friend during the pandemic and not due to death. I’m not sure exactly why because she ended our friendship through text. It was the same week I wrote what I thought was a beautiful story of friendship. I would love to hear what you think?

This still blows my mind at fifty-five years of age. Is this still really a thing to end a relationship via text message? I will spare you all of that drama and embarrassment.

However, becoming social again can be more challenging for some than others. Because I see others struggling, I’m sharing something so personal today. We must as a society come together and help each other begin again after this pandemic and before it’s even fully resolved.

I took my mom to the store a couple of months ago for the first time since her mini-strokes in April 2020. We had started ordering our groceries for delivery back in March when the pandemic hit and due to my breast cancer. It had been about sixteen months since my mom had stepped foot in a store. We have gone out a few times now to her favorite breakfast place, and we were even able to travel to Montana.

My mom was excited to go shopping. She was like a kid in a candy store. She was an angel. I was thinking back to my childhood with my two sisters and thought how much of a handful we must have been for my mom.

My mom barely let go of the shopping cart because she has lost some vision due to her strokes. By looking at my mom, you can’t tell she has an impairment. This is why we must come together and be patient with others.

Before we judge someone as we re-emerge as a society, we must remember, everyone has a story. If my friend was quick to judge after a friendship of thirty-five years, how will you act towards strangers who are having a hard time?

My mom did really well in the store. However, we aren’t as quick as we used to be. It might take a little patience if you were stuck behind us in the store.

This is why you must be alert to the fact that prior to the pandemic people struggled with social situations. Now it could be escalated.

Perhaps you have been lucky enough to keep your job through the pandemic or your life hasn’t changed much.

Please consider all the newbies trying to get to the center of the tootsie pop again. Here are some things to consider if you might be struggling to re-emerge into the world.

Start fresh

A few bad experiences in life can spoil the way you feel about giving things another shot. This might start with feeling rejected by a friend. It could even be that you attempted to go back out in the world, but you were treated poorly.

Today is a fresh start just like every day. Don’t let one friend or one bad experience in society frame your future. You are worth a re-do.

Our brains love patterns and this is where fear can rule. Being aware of this can help when you allow fear from past experiences to hold you back.

Just because one jerk cut you off or beeped their horn in traffic while you were trying to get back out there doesn’t mean the world is a bad place. It doesn’t mean that it is going to happen every time you go out.

Do you want to be more social?

Just saying that you want to be more social is one thing, while taking action is another. We are all receiving a fresh start.

Who are the lucky people that you will let back into your field of influence? The world needs you.

Your presence and abilities are needed. We must not hide behind closed doors any longer.

Perhaps pick something easy for starters. Like getting a haircut, picking up a gallon of milk, or meeting a friend for lunch. Keep doing this over and over and continue to grow back into the world in which we live.

Things are going to be different but change can be good. Re-entry doesn’t have to be hard. Start out slow.

Be a positive influence

If you have never been much of a positive person now is your time to shine. It’s a fresh start in a new world.

Before leaving your house, you might want to take a few extra minutes to get into a stronger mindset. Starting a new routine that includes gratitude can be helpful. Thinking of three positive things that you are thankful for is a great way to start.

Going forward I hope you attract the kind of positive experiences and people you are searching for.

“Strength may be impressive, but it’s vulnerability builds friendships.”

— Jessica Pan

We all have fears, some more than others. Nobody wants to be inadequate. This fear can make us shut down, take the easy way, or at times — just plain old crabby.

This is where confidence comes in.

Confidence

Your enthusiasm and vibes rub off onto those around you. Before going back out in the world full force, think about how confidence plays a part in how others treat you. Sometimes we must take action and just do it.

Conclusion

Don’t be hard on yourself. Whether you have been quick to judge or you aren’t quite ready to jump back in — it’s okay.

Be kind to yourself and others. None of us expected the doors of the world to be slammed shut.

Yet, when one door closes another one opens and the opportunities are slowly emerging again.

Just like it takes everyone different amounts of time to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, it will be the same re-emerging. Be patient with others and yourself.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?

A study from Purdue University:

“A group of engineering students from Purdue University reported that its licking machine, modeled after a human tongue, took an average of 364 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. Twenty of the group’s volunteers assumed the licking challenge-unassisted by machinery-and averaged 252 licks each to the center.”

Be strong; we got this – one step at a time. For some, it will just take a little longer. Please be patient.

I’m sharing this story as a thank you note to both my mom and ex-best friend for opening my eyes and heart to this matter. My mom’s partial loss of eyesight has been life-changing along with the loss of my best friend.

I’m also grateful to Trista Signe Ainsworth for her unique publication, Thank You Notes.

We mustn’t take re-entry or people for granted.