Working to Overcome our Tendencies Toward Judgment, Part 2 of 3
Originally published on examiner.com on February 5, 2013 at 4:24pm
Here are a few key points that we can remember if/when we catch ourselves on the giving or receiving end of the very human habit in action called judgment.
Most oft what a person is saying or doing in any given moment is merely a reflection of their own state of awareness, and sometimes a lack there of. Most often a person is not behaving in a way that appears/is unaware on purpose, this is a given. This is a good one to keep in heart and mind, as we don’t always know what someone is currently facing in their life, and there are times when all of us have been pushed beyond our edge.
Sometimes what a person is saying/sharing with us is an accurate reflection of some aspect of our behavior or personality that may be in need of some revamping. The person may indeed be projecting, however, this is what I like to call a ‘projection-reflection,’ as there is some accuracy to what is being shared with you; it is a mirror. Take a moment or two to observe and learn from this mirror.
It is always a good thing to look within before you take what someone is saying or doing too personally. Put some energy into ceasing from all attack and/or defending. When we are actively clearing certain things as we heal, for example — from early trauma, this practice can be quite a bit tougher. No matter how we choose to respond, whether it is to set a boundary, as in saying, ‘that is not okay’ or in choosing to remain silent when words would be to no avail, there will always be a chance that we will be misunderstood. Truth remains as it is whether anyone sees it or not. Let’s choose to remember this in those moments when we are feeling challenged.
It is good to teach ourselves to stop and listen. In this way we will be able to see whether or not what someone is saying holds true for us.
Be honest with yourself. It doesn’t help anyone if/when we cannot honestly look at ourselves, and take action accordingly. If it is yours, own it.
In truth, when drama happens it is often because someone is not feeling secure in who they are or where they are in life. Attacking or defending infers a deep-seated feeling of powerlessness or non-security in some way deep within the self. You may have learned this behavior in childhood when you were dependent upon others for your survival, and you could not leave. Now, however, you can take care of yourself. There is no need to over-do it by rebelling or fighting to stand in your own power. What are you trying to prove, and to whom? Right?
Stand in your power. Know Thyself.
Instead of focusing on the personality of the person in front of you — i.e., how they may be behaving in this very moment, learn to focus on the Divinity that is just beyond the personality, as this is the true essence of their being. There exists the world of mirrors, but there too exists the world of windows, windows of divinity.
Focus on the place that is beyond what that person may be currently learning in their life. Instead of judging them, accept them — utilizing reason, of course. What you are observing is simply what they are learning or not learning about in the now.
Accepting a person does not always mean inviting them over to get up close and personal. Discernment is always a great tool to carry around with you in this process of learning. If you find that you cannot help but judge a person, it is probably a good idea that you do not become bosom buddies with this person. In cases such as this, such an interaction may not be the best match to what you are currently learning in your own process of growth at this time or to what they are currently learning. It is perfectly okay to note this truth and act accordingly.
There is judgment, and there is discernment — discernment is a plus.
To read part 3 in this series click here!
Thank you for reading!
If anything has come to heart and/or mind from having read this piece, I would love to hear from you! Please share in comments!
Soul to Soul,
Creative Hearts Align
