Working Hard To Get My Dream Life Back: A Travel Story

When I arrived in Canmore, Alberta around 9:30 PM, they let me stay the night for free in one of the hotel rooms since it was too late to get me settled in staff housing. I had a wonderful sleep. The next morning, I smiled as I opened the window and saw a gorgeous view of the Rocky Mountains outside. There’s nothing like that view.

How did I end up here? Well, let’s just say a few things went awry in Vancouver. I did not want to leave. I really didn’t. There was no other option. I was broke and Canmore had an immediate opening with staff housing included.

I was so upset I had to leave my dream city behind, but I knew I was going to get back there again after some work.

I started the new housekeeping job and it went well from day one. With all the workouts and hikes I did over the years, I was quick with cleaning rooms and had a lot of endurance. I remember how much more tired the last time I did housekeeping at the resort since I wasn’t keeping up with a healthy diet and workouts.

I’d finish my list before everyone else most days then help anyone who needed it. Canmore was in the slow season, so I found the work to be chill most days. We never had to clean more than 10 rooms in a day. I’d brew a coffee in the room while I was cleaning and play music.

It was crazy being back in Canmore six years after the first time I lived there. I’d been living in my dream city and I knew how it felt to have my own place and feel successful. It was almost like taking a step back and telling my old self that I did it.

I am grateful that this second time in Canmore gave me the space and tranquility to heal and process what happened. It was like a retreat. The distance I traveled to get there by bus was symbolic of the distance I was putting between me and the wolf.

I couldn’t help but think back to the first time I lived in Canmore. The people were great during that era and there were many wonderful memories to be had. I was just starting my incredible journey back in 2013.

I would have been so proud to know I made it to Vancouver and managed to get my own place on Main Street, let alone all the great experiences I got to have while there. The experience with Sven drew a lot out of me, but I knew I’d get my spirit back. Sometimes you go through periods of transition. I would enter a new chapter when I returned to Vancouver.

If you feel that something is off or not quite right, listen to that intuition because it is probably telling you something important. I had that weird feeling when I first walked into that call center, but I ignored it. Had I not left the fundraising job, I still would have been in Vancouver at my old place. Hindsight is 20/20, of course. It’s okay to make mistakes so long as you learn from them.

I paid a visit to Banff on one of my days off. I walked along the Bow River, admiring the majestic beauty around me. It was interesting being back again at a time that I didn’t want to be anywhere else but Vancouver. I’d lived a couple of chapters in Banff and those days shaped my future.

I love Banff and always will, but Vancouver was my true home. After work in Canmore, I’d go into town and write a new story at the Starbucks there. I finished that story, but didn’t end up publishing it. There’s still potential there, though. It was a good exercise and it kept me occupied. I pondered the idea of going to therapy, but kept telling myself I was okay.

I just had to get back to Vancouver and start over then everything would be great again.

I imagined myself as a parallel to Sansa Stark. My hair was dyed a different colour and I was hiding away in a reprieve. No one in Canmore knew my life’s story or who I really was. I managed to completely separate myself from my coworkers.

Being accustomed to living alone in the city for a couple of years, I knew how deter people who tried to step in the way of my routine. It’s not that I didn’t want to connect with anyone, this time it was just different. I needed to heal and have some peace after going through a lot of crazy things.

Losing someone you thought was a new friend and losing the life you built aren’t minor things. One day I’d be returning to where I belonged and I would reclaim what was mine.

I got along well with the supervisors at the hotel and they liked my work in the rooms. The movement did me a lot of good since my mind and spirit were restless. After a few months of stable hours, I started to look into places I could stay once I got back to Vancouver.

There was a backpacker’s hostel in the city where you could stay for $350/month if you paid with cash all at once. I e-mailed the place ahead of time to ask if I could secure a bed even though I was a local (They check your I.D.). They said everyone was welcome to stay there. It was time to go back to where I belonged. My dream city.

My happiness returned when the bus wheeled me back into Vancouver. It felt good to be back at Pacific Central Station. I went straight from the bus station with my bags to the hostel which was just downtown. Let’s just say the city hostel left much to be desired.

I missed my amazing micro suite on Main Street more than ever and I could have kicked myself for letting it go. That was a very good lesson — if you find a great place to live, don’t give it up because you think you need a change. Even if something bad happens. Places like the one I had aren’t easy to find. I’m not sure if you could get a place like that anymore. Whoever took over the lease would probably never leave.

I couldn’t believe I was sleeping in a hostel bunk bed after coming so far, but it was a lesson I would never forget. If something’s working well, don’t change it. I tried to think positive. At least the hostel was close to some cool cafes. I got a lot of writing done during this time.

I went on some night runs to the waterfront and back to stay in shape. There was no room to workout in the crowded shared space. The moment I stepped out of the hostel, my spirits lifted, and I was able to go anywhere I wanted. I applied like mad for jobs and landed a position as a political canvasser in addition to an office job that scheduled nannies throughout the city.

I was able to save money quickly with the rent being so cheap — I didn’t mind working all the time since I hated being at the hostel anyway. While it was horrible sleeping in such a dirty shared place where everyone watched what you were doing, I knew I’d be out of there in a month or so.

It was the sort of place where everyone wanted you to be present at their parties or be super chatty — almost like a cult. You were considered the crazy one if you worked full time and only went there to sleep. I had to stay focused on the end goal — getting my own room again.

It felt strange not having a set home, especially after being stable for two years at my past apartment, but you have to trust the process when you make a comeback. Situations improve and life works itself out when you are patient and never give up.

While I was starting to feel more like myself again, I still couldn’t walk down the street that passed by the place I used to work with Sven, my old coworker. I couldn’t bear the idea of seeing him again after what happened.

Listening to some new Billie Eilish songs helped me transition from the summer of 2019 to the winter of 2019. While I wasn’t living in my own apartment, I was back in my dream city and at the core I was content.

My first night at the Air BNB was bizarre — no one else was there and the home was warm, but dark. It was kind of cool having the entire place to myself, if not a bit eerie. It was also a prime location for jogging, so I kept that up as my main source of fitness then I’d do my workouts in the spacious laundry room.

I kept writing when I wasn’t working and settled back into a healthy routine despite the temporary living situations. One night a guy moved into the bottom bunk bed of the room I was staying in. Usually, I had the whole room to myself, so it felt weird sharing it.

I caught a cold soon after and he made me a tea after hearing me coughing, which was kind of him. We slowly started to talk when we’d be in the room together. He was there on a vacation with two of his other friends who were sleeping in the other room. They were from Germany.

The night that I was scheduled to fly out to Ontario to visit my family for a week, I decided I’d try my luck. I never make a first move with guys, but I figured this guy deserved it. He’d already shown his interest.

I made a tiny paper airplane and wrote a message saying “Hey, do you like to cuddle?” with a smiley face. As I walked past him sitting on the couch in the living room, I threw the airplane at him then ran into my room, hiding under the covers. He quickly opened the door and took off his beanie.

“Hey, I love cuddling,” he said.

I giggled. He looked so cute. Matt was his name. I climbed down my bunk, and we sat on his bed. At first it was a little awkward, but we snuggled together, and it felt great. He would be leaving the day after me. He was another guy with boyfriend potential who wouldn’t be staying long because he was from a different country.

At least we had that moment together. An hour later, I had to get ready to leave. We exchanged our Instagrams then I packed up. We kissed for a final time then I walked out the door to wait for a cab to the airport.

When the cab driver picked me up, I must have been beaming,

“Looks like you’ve had an easy day,” he remarked.

“Yes and I’ve earned it,” I said sharply.