Working At A Nursing Home Has Changed My Perspective On Life

Don't waste your time being grumpy and ungrateful all your life.

“Hi, my mother passed away. She’s on the first floor”

— A Family Member of a Resident

It is heartbreaking when a group of family members comes in, stand in front of me, and says they were here to see a resident (their family) that just passed away, with their cracked voices, holding their tears, and trying to keep themselves still.

Working at a retirement home can be different depending on the position. I have been working at a retirement home for almost a year now, and I never expected to learn many valuable life lessons at the retirement home. For nearly a year of working at a nursing home, I've seen residents come and then pass away. I don't have any direct contact with residents since I work at the front desk. But I am not far from seeing them in their wheelchair.

Here are some valuable life lessons I learned from working at a nursing home:

1. Don't be afraid to try new things

The world is yours to discover. Don't waste your time doing the same thing repeatedly, so try new things. Don't wait until you have missed a lot of things because you were afraid to try. One of my favorite quotes by Les Brown is:

“The graveyard is the richest place on earth, because it is here that you will find all the hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled, the books that were never written, the songs that were never sung, the inventions that were never shared, the cures that were never discovered, all because someone was too afraid to take that first step, keep with the problem, or determined to carry out their dream.”

I went to the Philippines a few months ago and thought of trying to surf. I was afraid to try surfing because I had never learned how to swim. I was scared that I might get drowned and die in the sea. But I tried surfing, which was my best experience in the Philippines. I grabbed the opportunity to learn and experience surfing.

Sometimes, you've got to do it scared. You've got to do something even when your voice is mumbling and cracking because some opportunities won't come twice. So, don't be scared to try new things. Don't be afraid to publish a book you have been writing and don't be scared to share your ideas even though they might sound funny to other people. Don't be afraid to try new things while you still can.

2. Compassion

According to Psychology Today, compassion is an empathic understanding of a person's feelings, accompanied by altruism or a desire to act on that person's behalf. It is when you can relate to someone's situation. Compassionate with others is essential because it promotes meaningful connections; it makes you forget about yourself and think about how others feel in such a situation. Compassion takes empathy and harbors a desire to help and think about other people.

I became more compassionate with other people when I worked at a nursing home. Seeing older people in their wheelchairs by themselves makes me think that my parents will be like that in years to come, sitting in a wheelchair and having someone to call to help them. Some of the residents are trying to walk to their rooms with their walkers, making me wonder how they feel. Do they feel lonely while they are in their room? Do they cry at night in dim lights and think about their families? It must be hard for them to walk without assistance or eat without someone helping them. I wish I could help them, but I am not usually the one that handles them. They may be older than us, but their bodies are weak. Some residents don't have family visits because they're busy with their lives, and sometimes life can get in the way; that makes me sad, and I feel for them.

3. Money can go back, but good moments can't

Memories can live long until you get dementia. We will all end up in the grave with and without memories. Money comes back every paycheck. Traveling is not a waste of time and money. When I was a teenager, I chased money and material things to reward myself for working hard; there's nothing wrong with that. But I regret not hanging out and having fun with my friends.

If I could go back to when my friends in high school were asking me to go to Canada's Wonderland, I would go out with them and ask my manager to give me a day off. It was a holiday, and I refused to miss work because it was time and a half pay. Sure, I have received a good income, but the memories I could have made with my high school friends? I have missed it and wouldn't be able to take it back. There were many times that I chose to work rather than hang out with them; Now, my high school friends are not in my life. Maybe if I went out with them, I would have so many stories to tell of how I lost my voice when I took a rollercoaster and anything that could have made memories only if I had gone there with my high school friends.

Don't worry about the money you will get or spend; money can go back, but memories can't. You can't take those moments back. Every day counts; we all have 24 hours a day, so make memories with it.

4. Enjoy your life as much as possible

There is no permanent in this world. We're all going to die, and I honestly don't want to think about it, but let's face it, we are not guaranteed a tomorrow. We don't know how many tomorrows we have. But right now, seize the moment. Every day counts, so enjoy your life as much as possible and make memories. I am sure most nursing home residents had an extraordinary life. But imagine if you wasted your time being grumpy and ungrateful all your life and ended up at a nursing home without good memories with your loved ones?

Our job is essential, but it is as vital as our life outside work. Don't spend too much on working at a job that would replace you in a blink of an eye. Enjoy your life, and have a slow morning with your loved ones because you won't get those moments back.

When you go somewhere and do something, ensure you are there because it is not enough for good moments to exist. You have to be able to experience it. Take them in, let the moments consume you, and you will be satisfied.

5. Life is fragile

One of my friends who works as a PSW (Personal Support Worker) had been working for three weeks, and her resident died. She took care of her until the resident's last breath. My friend cried three times when her resident passed away. I couldn't imagine myself having to take care of an older person who then passed away. In my experiences, I've only seen dead bodies covered with blankets and taking them out from the building to funeral homes. Seeing them lifeless, immobile, and cold makes me think how fragile our life is.

Another friend of mine, who is in nursing, blamed herself when her patient's health declined. She questioned her worth as a nurse if she was a good nurse because her patient died under her care. Although she did everything that needed to be done and took good care of her dying patient at 80, she blamed herself for her patient's death. That is one of the downsides when working at a nursing home. When you get attached to the resident, it's hard to let them go and see them lifeless.

One of my favorite moments is texting my mom and telling her some tea about work, and she's supportive of it. I would text her, "Mom, I have a chikka.". "Chikka" means gossip in Tagalog. And she will reply what is it?. She is willing to read my messages and answer. I seize every moment she replies because someday she may be unable to respond to me, and I'd look back at those moments when we were texting.

Life is fragile; once our lives have been taken away, that's the end. We only live in someone's memories.

6. Be grateful

I can't stress this enough: whether you're young or old, be grateful for the little things. Someone cannot afford what you have. Some people don't have the opportunities that you have. If you achieved little things, such as getting to work on time, or getting home safely, be grateful for those moments.

One of the things that I am grateful for is my family. Although we are not living in the same house, I am thankful for having them. I am pleased that even though we all are separated, we still have communication and the love stays there. Texting my mom about some tea at work is my favorite memory with my mom, and I am grateful to have those moments with her. I am thankful for everything that I have gone through in life.

Be grateful for your life and even for the job you hate. It may not be your final career, but it gives you enough income to survive. Be grateful for every little thing because not everyone is blessed enough to have what you have.

7. Show your vulnerable side

Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt, but it's the only way to live a life completely.

C.S Lewis said:

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

Showing affection is not a sign of weakness; it is evident that you are a human being with a heart. When my mom cooked and did groceries, I would tell her how much I appreciated her for making dinner and groceries. When was the last time you told your parents how much you loved them?

I fought with someone at work a few months ago, and it hurt me. I called my mom and told her what had happened, and I was crying on the phone. It was the first time in forever my mom had heard my cry. I showed my vulnerable self with my mom and dad when I conflicted with someone at work.

Don't be afraid to show your vulnerable side. Express your gratitude and love to the people that mean s lot to you. Love unconditionally and direct it because that's the only way to make us feel human. We love, and we get hurt.

Since I worked at a nursing home, it changed how I view life; that life is short, and we shouldn't take it for granted. Some residents at the retirement home are not able to hear correctly. As much as possible, tell your parents and loved ones how much you love them and how much they mean to you while they can still hear you. Tell them how much you appreciate them, while you don't have to say it loud like you're yelling at them to listen to you. They can easily listen to your voice and what you tell them. Give your loved one flowers while they can still smell them. Travel with your family and friends while they can still walk. Go to as many places as you can. Because someday, when they are in a wheelchair, you will realize how easy it is to travel with them and make memories while they can still walk. Life is precious, and we shouldn't take it for granted.

Rainna

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