Summary

The article discusses the impact of religious beliefs on gender roles, particularly the notion that men are divinely ordained to lead, and its detrimental effects on women's empowerment and equality.

Abstract

The author reflects on the pervasive belief that "men are ordained by God to lead," which has been used to justify male dominance and female subservience, leading to harmful consequences for women's autonomy and leadership opportunities. Drawing from personal experiences, including a conversation with a female medical doctor who held this belief, the author illustrates how such religious convictions can perpetuate cycles of domestic violence and limit women's potential. The article also critiques the role of the church in reinforcing gender hierarchies, citing examples from the author's childhood and adulthood, and questions the exclusion of women from leadership positions within many religious institutions. The author advocates for a re-examination of oppressive religious beliefs and calls for the inclusion of women's voices in leadership and decision-making processes.

Opinions

The author challenges the idea that men are divinely ordained to lead, viewing it as a source of women's disempowerment.
The article suggests that religious beliefs can be a tool for justifying male leadership and female subordination, often leading to negative outcomes such as domestic violence and lack of female leadership.
The author recounts personal experiences with religion and family dynamics, expressing feelings of betrayal due to the hypocrisy observed in religious leaders, including their own father.
There is a critique of the church's role in perpetuating gender inequality, particularly through the exclusion of women from positions of ecclesiastical power.
The author emphasizes the importance of women's voices and leadership in all spheres of society, including religious contexts.
The article implies that societal change is necessary to address the deep-seated belief in male leadership ordained by God, which has contributed to the election of leaders who exhibit problematic behavior towards women.
The author calls for open discourse about oppressive religious beliefs and encourages both men and women to move beyond paradigms that are validated only by the oppressor.

Women’s Empowerment Achilles Heel

Men are ordained by God to lead.

AdobeStock_279126448.jpeg (Monkey Business)

“Men are ordained by God lead.” That statement of belief has severed more than one relationship between women. The last woman who told me that had just graduated from medical school. She was in her second marriage. Her first marriage ended in divorce due to domestic violence.

I had been on the phone with this woman for an hour discussing collaboration on mentoring women into excellence. Since she was a medical doctor and I’m a psychologist, both with backgrounds in childhood trauma, we shared a common understanding of resilience.

Since I’d accommodated her religious gestures in the past, I wanted to clarify to her that I wasn’t interested in combining religion with mentoring. I had never shared my religious beliefs with her. I have no issues with religious people, so I never countered any of her previous statements about religion.

Maybe she felt mislead by my acceptance of her. I explained that my experience with religion was that it is powerful for men and disempowering for women. That’s when the statement came out of her mouth and left me in awe. “Men are ordained by God to lead.”

Flashbacks and Put-Downs

I had flashbacks to my childhood, watching my mother cosign for a life of subservience to my undeserving father. I’ve always thought my mother to be a brilliant woman. She spoke with eloquence and knew when not to speak. She raised seven children on her own while my father took a marriage hiatus.

The day I met my father I was eight years old, and I could not stop grinning when my mother introduced me to him. I had felt a void from not having a father around, although my older brother served as a father figure. Weeks after meeting my father for the first time, he and my mother reconciled their marriage.

My Introduction to God and religion

My mother allowed my father to return as the head of the household, no questions asked. My father’s first task was to get the family into church. From the day dad returned, my four brothers, two sisters, and I crammed into the station wagon with my parents three days a week to attend church. My mother’s mission became supporting my father’s religious aspirations.

My father dragged our family from church to church, seeking leadership positions. He served as a deacon, bishop, and assistant pastor, as he insisted church leadership was his calling. With a third-grade education and a bible in his hand, he finally started his church when I was in my early 20s.

I felt betrayed by my father for his infidelity and my mother for putting up with it. She was vibrant, beautiful, and smart. She used all of those qualities to elevate my father rather than herself.

By the time my father started his church, I had lived away from home long enough to dissent. I had witnessed so much hypocrisy, not just in my father, but in the dozens of churches I’d experienced.

The problems in the world were the problems in the church. Infidelity, sexual abuse, abuse of authority, and child neglect occurred while women sat silently in the places clutching their bibles.

I felt betrayed by my father for his infidelity and my mother for putting up with it. She was vibrant, beautiful, and smart. She used all of those qualities to elevate my father rather than herself.

When I refused to attend my father’s church because of his hypocrisy, the family admonished me. My mother and siblings commanded me to honor my father, regardless of his behaviors. Only God could judge him. No female had a right to judge a man, nor any child to criticize their parent. Only God should judge men, and men judged everything else.

Men are Ordained by God to Lead

When I challenged my friend’s statement about men being ordained by God to lead, I suspected that would be our last conversation. I reached out to her a few times after that but never received a response.

I’m not a bully about religion. I invite discourse around oppressive beliefs, political, social, and religious. Sometimes I am ostracized for doing so, and am no longer surprised.

Passing daughters through the pearly gates

I am concerned about the messages we pass down to our daughters in a world that has constricted them to the impulses of men. Weinstein, Cosby, R. Kelly, and Nassar are recent examples of the danger of unchecked male leadership.

I am concerned about the messages we pass down to our daughters in a world that has constricted them to the impulses of men.

Electing a male who advocates grabbing women by the pussy to the highest office of leadership, shows how deeply we believe, “Men are ordained by God to lead.” Women are ordained to follow at any cost. The cost is grave.

Time is not on her side

Women are evolution hostages in a world created by men to preserve their leadership permanently. Man created God in his image; so, to defy the leadership of man is blasphemy. Any woman who defies man will feel the wrath of God.

Religion and women leadership is a game of Three Card Monte, where there is zero chance of winning. The only way to win is not to play, as stated in the Casino.org article. I came to the same conclusions about religion and leadership.

It’s hardly a fair game since any crowd watching it being played is filled with shills. Shills are the accomplices: people paid to help manipulate victims. All of this is taught in almost every explanation of “how Monte works.” But it’s what’s going on inside the suckers’ heads that makes this con game work, even when a player already knows the secret move. (Wilson)

Inside women’s heads are 100,000 years of fear and brainwashing. While women were hiding from bad men and being manipulated by good men, the deck got stacked.

Silence of the Feminine Divine

Men’s threat to women throughout evolution became known as the “hunter-gatherer” theory told by men and unquestioned by women. Our ancestors passed down gender roles in the absence of female autonomy, a sleight of hand.

By the time men established religion, women were out of chips. Men had complete authority over women and scripted them to be permanent second class humans.

Theories about Good, science, the human psyche, and social structures were designed by men who deemed themselves the image of God. The house always wins — the house of God — that is.

Many churches, including many of the largest denominations in the United States, such as the Roman Catholic Church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS) and the Southern Baptist Convention, do not allow women to be ordained or hold top church leadership positions. (Masci)

Blaspheme to Get to Heaven

Sermon after sermon, women have become good characters. Scripture by scripture, I will call for discourse about the expectation of leadership advocated by religion.

As a daughter of a daughter of a daughter of a slave, I invite men and women out of the space where knowledge is considered valid only if the oppressor validates it. No matter how many good men lead, no knowledge is complete without the voice of women. This declaration is my voice.

References

Rosennab (2020). Essential understanding of how women can support each other. Illumination on Medium. https://readmedium.com/essential-understanding-of-how-women-can-support-each-other-af10f1a5e15.

Rosennab (2020). Growing out of religion. The ascent on Medium. https://readmedium.com/growing-out-of-religion-and-into-spirituality-44c6221f8c3.

Masci, D. (2014) The divide over ordaining women. Pew Research Center. https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2014/09/09/the-divide-over-ordaining-women/.

Wilson, P. (2020). R. Paul Wilson On: The Real Secret of Three Card Monte Trick. Casino.org. https://www.casino.org/blog/three-card-monte-trick/.