Women Won! Patriarchy Is Good After All.
Yes really.
I was talking with a friend of mine recently, and he said: “men can feel depressed, but men do not have time to be depressed”. I would have said — sexist much? But then, should we really compete, gender-wise, on who has more depression? I think not. But let’s examine the idea that men do not have the time to be depressed.
We can be down in the dumps but that won’t help us put food on the table. We can be down in the dumps but we are the providers and so, we are only able to express our feelings by screaming, hitting, drinking, and cheating. — African Men probably.
I am Nigerian. My country is known for good foods, over 200 languages, and the youngest youth population in the world but also, for corruption, unemployment, beheadings, patriarchy, sexism, and misogyny.
The idea that men must be the breadwinners continue to be prevalent in the African continent. A woman can choose to be nothing. All she has to do is get married — to any man at all. She has made it!
And oh yes, the man MUST provide — whether he has to beg or steal to do so. In the patriarchy that the men perpetuate, they have a double-edged sword. You must be a man by providing. Again, all a woman has to do is do nothing or keep house, if she cares enough about being a “good woman”.
A woman without a dime to her name is better than the most financially successful woman if she is married and the financially successful woman, isn’t. Likewise, a married man without a dime is more successful than a financially successful woman, married or not.
If you look beyond the fact that women have few rights, can be discarded on the whims of their men, and are left financially bereft when things go south, the reality is women have the better gig. Women can feel their feelings, process them, talk about them, and shit it out if they want. And the men? Oh no. That is too much vulnerability. Better lock it in.
So why won’t men feel depressed? They can. But they have no time to dwell on it. It is a fast-paced world, and tomorrow, mummy and all those kids need to be fed.
Thank you for reading. Do you think women got the better end of the deal — in this light?