Women, Why Are You Trying to Change Us?
Why Women Should Allow us To Grow On Our Time!
“Don’t Fall In Love With The Flower And Then Try To Its Scent.”
~KushandWizdom
Is it possible for two people to come together in a relationship and naturally grow towards each other without having to change who they are? We all should try to adapt as a person and learn from our past mistakes as well as the mistakes of others to become better. What’s not helpful is trying to change a person into something they are not. This is something that takes place too often today and thus forces men out of relationships. Is it possible for a woman to let a man be a man? Let’s analyze this topic!
We know that most people will change when they feel it’s in their best interest and because they want to. Not, because others are telling them to do so. When a woman demands changes from a man with statements like, “ I need you to be more open to expressing your feelings,” or “you need to shave more often,” this causes unnecessary drama in the relationship. Even if he gives in to those demands, the damage has already been done. Demands have no place in a relationship, especially in regards to changes being made that are not harming the other person.
Most relationships go through several phases. The first phase, which some call the honeymoon phase, is when everything seems right. The couple is riding the highs of finding true love, and neither partner can do wrong. They overlook the negative characteristics in their mate. At some point in time, things go downhill and every little thing the other does is bothersome. This is a natural part of a relationship but how it’s handled can make or break it.
The important thing to do during this phase is to accept that people have their downfalls and while some help might be warranted, the person needs to want to make a change. At this time, some women will start taking steps to change the man into their “ideal man.” What happened to being happy with the person whom you met at the beginning? Men often feel confused with the changes being forced upon them at this time. We are simple beings and are happy with a relationship as long as our needs are met inside and outside the home. Women can be complex and require more than that. Sometimes they require things that cannot be delivered from the man they are with.
Women are going to have to start being ok with certain attributes in men, even if they don’t like them. There is not a perfect man out there who is free of any negative characteristics, so it will be in her best interests to look for a man who prides himself on growing and “leveling up”, rather than trying to change a man into this fictional character that she has created in her mind of what a man should be.
“A woman can’t change a man because she loves him. A man changes himself because he loves her.” — Steve Harvey
A man will make the necessary changes in a relationship if and when he wants to. If a woman is with the man she believes she is meant to be with, she needs to allow her man to grow and change on his timetable. Pushing and prodding him to do so will only push him further away. Men that are in love, will accept the fact that changes are needed and will gladly make them when he is able.
Obviously, through the course of a successful relationship, both people will have to make certain changes. This is a good thing. However, it only hurts the relationship when demands are made. Hints at making changes need to be subtle and reasonable. An article by Heidi Muller, on AskMen.Com, describes this beautifully. Both members of a relationship should focus on their ways to grow. This will motivate their mate to do the same if they are committed to the relationship and its growth.
A part of a relationship is hope and optimism for the future. Two people who have just become engaged or married have no idea what the relationship will be like in 10 years. They have to enter into the commitment with hope. Many people fail at some point in the relationship where they try to force a change instead of allowing the other person to make that change. Relationships can be simple but at other times complex. However, they must always be allowed to grow organically.
Women need to allow men to grow and adapt without feeling forced. Men will change because of the love and care they have for their women. Shoutout to all the women out there who encourage their men to be the best version of themselves without pressuring them. You all deserve nothing but the best in life! In all seriousness, relationships would be much more successful if both parties focus on working towards the same goals. When this occurs, the changes that need to be made will happen. Remember, nobody is perfect and we all have our challenges. Encourage, motivate, and give help when needed, but let a man be a man and you both will be much happier as a result. As always, stay positive!
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