Women Love Bad Boys, Yes we do! Here is why.
I’m in a few groups where men and women discuss relationships. I see a common belief Men have about women “Women love bad boys” and the disappointment shows up in their posts. They feel disheartened.
Recently, I had a video chat with a young man who asked the same question. “Why do women love Bad Boys?”
I love to talk to men about this topic. Here is why women love bad boys and that doesn’t mean you are screwed when dating.
Women love bad boys because:
- They are forbidden
- They are confident (even if not in a great way)
- They take risks
- They love hard and play hard — passionate
- They aren’t afraid of conflict
- They stand up for themselves — self-respect
- They are adventurous and spontaneous
The Forbidden has a certain Je ne sais quoi
As Esther Perel says: The forbidden creates desire. There is something about bad boys that is forbidden and it creates a certain desire in some women. It stirs something in us. Men have this same turn-on with women. It is just human behavior.
I’m the kind of man that brings flowers
One gentleman said that he is the kind of man to bring a woman flowers. Awesome, do that. That doesn’t mean that can’t work too. Not all women are the same. You don’t have to be one-dimensional though.
Here is what you can do:
There are things you can do to spice things up a bit and bring your inner bad boy to the surface to stir her inner desire the way a bad boy does.
Work on your confidence. This is so sexy. Not fake confidence, not macho confidence (like bad boys) true confidence. It’s sexy as hell.
Take risks. You don’t have to do something illegal, but maybe think outside the box a little, be creative and take risks.
Love hard and play hard. Put your energy into showing passion for what you love. It’s not all about her. She’ll love that you play sports hard and you love her hard. (I don’t mean conflict-driven passion). Find something that you’re passionate about even if you are not into sports and do that.
They aren’t afraid of conflict. Work on not being a nice guy. Men that are people pleasers are very passive. You don’t want to look for conflict, but don’t be afraid if it shows up. Just the fear of conflict shows up energetically. Some women want to know they are protected and that their man can speak up when need be.
Stand up for yourself. She might act like she doesn’t like it when you do, but she does. It means you have self-respect. This means not putting up with unacceptable behavior from anyone, including her. Nice guys can be passive-aggressive. This turns many women off, and it isn’t healthy. Read “No Mr. Nice Guy” by Robert Glover
Be adventurous and spontaneous. Become adventurous and spontaneous. Step outside your comfort zone. Be naughty. Whether that is spontaneous sex or ziplining. Do something you’ve wanted to do but were not confident in doing. By adventurous and spontaneous I don’t mean reckless. It might seem fun in the beginning but reckless will eventually turn her away. Try to shoot for a balance.
Absolutely be a gentleman and bring flowers (if she likes flowers) to let her know she is special. Remember, you don’t have to be “a specific type” of man. You can have and do have, many sides of you she will love. Show the side of you that loves to open doors and be romantic.
No bad boy can compete with a gentleman that has integrity, a passionate, spontaneous, and an adventurous side who is strong in his convictions unless she is just looking for a toxic man to which you should run.
Show her your bad boy side! You might find you enjoy it too.