SATIRE | A MISSION TO SOLVE UNSOLVED MYSTERIES
Women Like to Hide Their Age but Men Don’t, Why?
We will never know
Sally wants to call a truce to a war she began with the whole aluminum saga. You know what that means, right? Surrender.
The fact is she is just tired of repeatedly being called a user of ancient English on modern digital platforms.
She is afraid that people might misjudge young Sally’s age. So much so that she started showing-off with her French to look “cool”. Pauvre Fou.
To make matters worse, Sally has now crowned herself with the title of Queen Spelling Bee. BTW, did I tell you Sally is from the UK?
The world knows how these Brits gather together at Trafalgar Square in London to chant “God Save the Queen” if she even sneezes. Have mercy on the poor soul. She is older than the first brick in the Buckingham Palace.
But I digress.
Even though Sally using ancient English has nothing to do with her age, she decided to fly to the United States to get herself to switch to American English.
Like her species, she had chosen to look young and “cool” over her stupid spelling.
The kind doctor Michael agreed to help her. His revolutionary medical procedure would make Sally an American English user.
The day of procedure had arrived. Before starting, doctor Michael had to put Sally under.
To make sure he gives her the right amount of sedative, he asked her age.
The following conversation ensued.
“What is your age?” The doctor asked Sally.
“Ummmm….”
“Ummmm….”
“Ummmm….”
“Mam, I just asked your age. Not to spell aluminum,” Sally had already started hitting doctor’s nerve.
“Ummmm…. twenty-two,” Sally responded. Finally!
“Are you sure? I have to inject right dose according to your age.”
“Okay, Okay. Thirty-two. Yes, thirty-two it is.”
“Mam, I want you to be absolutely sure. If I give you the wrong dose, it can lead to kidney failure.”
“Ugh! Okay, forty-eight. I am positive.”
“Mam, I want you to think again an give me your correct age. If I give you wrong dose, you can either wake up in middle of the procedure or go into a coma.”
Sally lost her “cool” and yelled hysterically, “Sixty, I am sixty you ass. And now, I don’t care if my corpse gets out of this operation theater. I am not adding another single year. Fifty is final.”
The doctor looked towards the viewing window and smiled. A mysterious person was watching from the other side.
Doctor Michael canceled the operation. He told Sally she didn’t need the operation anymore. She had already pronounced “ass” and “theater” as she should always have. Correctly.
The mysterious person behind the viewing window left the room thinking “now she knows how American ass tastes like.”
End scene.
Here is another story starring Michael Burg, MD.
