Women Like More Than Just the ‘Chris’ Guys

Free AI web copilot to create summaries, insights and extended knowledge, download it at here

3124

Abstract

that he can tell me what to do. And most women agree. There are a few who want that sort of guy, but there are frankly, a lot more men who want to date a Barbie than there are women who want to actually date a Ken doll.</p><p id="1284">Famously plain Henry Kissinger is said to have been the “playboy of the West Wing” because he was a great listener. Kissinger is reported to have always been a friendly sort who took a real interest in the women around him. His flashing eyes were full of both intelligence and fun and he is said to have reveled in both his self-identified roles as a scholar and as a lover of women. Kissinger was short and jowly, so it certainly wasn’t his physique that made him so popular with the ladies, and there were plenty of other powerful men in Washington who did not have his reputation with women.</p><p id="3f8d">There’s been a lot of speculation about what Pete Davidson had to offer Kim Kardashian (or any of the other beautiful women that he’s dated). In Kim’s case, it certainly wasn’t money or fame. Perhaps after so many years with an intense, unstable, controlling guy like Kanye West, she just enjoyed being around someone who was funny and low-key? Kim has <a href="https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/stephaniesoteriou/pete-davidson-celebrity-crush-mysterious-appeal">referred</a> to Pete as “thoughtful” and “genuine.” Other former flames of his seem to agree. Past girlfriend Emily Ratajkowski has said, “Guys are like, ‘Wow, what’s that guy got.’ And I’m like, I mean, he seems super charming. He’s vulnerable. He’s lovely.”</p><p id="9b84">The fact that so many men are mystified by Davidson’s appeal speaks to the disconnect between what so many men think women want, and what many women actually want.</p><figure id="7959"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*FFmjhz6OmR0Jl8ahDPH0CA.png"><figcaption><a href="https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/stephaniesoteriou/pete-davidson-celebrity-crush-mysterious-appeal">https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/stephaniesoteriou/pete-davidson-celebrity-crush-mysterious-appeal</a></figcaption></figure><p id="e88f">Of course, women like confidence. Everyone likes genuine confidence, but that’s more about knowing and owning who you actually are than being powerful and commanding. You don’t need to be some incel’s dream of an Alpha Male in order to be attractive to women. Lantern jaws, huge arms, and the ability to intimidate anyone in the room with both your handsomeness and your imposing physicality is much more of a male dominance hierarchy fantasy than it is a dream of actual women.</p><p id="452c">Of course, we appreciate the Chris guys, but that doesn’t mean that they are the only sorts of guys that most women like. In fact, if you search “What do women want in a man,” most lists will begin with confidence, and go on from there to include other character traits, like stability, respect, and emotional availability. It’s not that the physical aspect doesn’t matter at all, but it matters to most women less than most guys seem to think (perhaps because it matters a lot to them).</p><blo

Options

ckquote id="866d"><p><a href="https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a19535604/top-20-traits-she-wants/">Recent online surveys</a> of more than 1,000 women between the ages of 21 and 54 (one was conducted by Princeton, New Jersey’s opinion Research Corporation; the other was done on BestLifeOnline.com) found that women value personality far more than physical attractiveness. What women want in a man is faithfulness and dependability, a sense of humor, the ability to listen, and a sense of style. Only 13 percent of women cited muscular build as a factor in physical attractiveness. On the other hand, 66 percent of women said moral integrity will “make me quiver.”</p></blockquote><p id="848f">Things like assertiveness do matter but in the context of speaking up about what you think is important, not in being performatively aggressive. As one article <a href="https://www.gentlemanwithin.com/what-women-find-attractive-in-men/">noted</a>, quiet confidence gives you three things that aggressive dominance doesn’t: class, mystery, and manners — all things that are highly attractive to the average woman. Genuine chemistry is also key for most women, and that can’t be faked with just looks (or bank account) alone. What about who you really are do you bring to the table and how does that connect with her and make her feel?</p><p id="6824">Sure, I find Chris Hemsworth very attractive, in part because of who he seems to be as a person (more so than Evans or Pratt), but I also really like guys like Eddie Redmayne and Dave Grohl. I like how they look but also the whole package. Stop projecting what you think is attractive on a man and believe women when they say it isn’t necessarily the same for them. They can appreciate the appeal of the Chris guys, but there are a lot of other things that most women find important and attractive. Just ask Pete Davidson.</p><p id="c04c">© Copyright Elle Beau 2023</p><div id="ebf0" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/women-crave-variety-759bb5857cf8"> <div> <div> <h2>Women Like More Than One Type of Man</h2> <div><h3>That’s our real biological imperative</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*L61vxFn2gIBXuep_eO3SpQ.png)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="d955" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/dear-men-you-are-not-entitled-to-underwear-models-6c1030262925"> <div> <div> <h2>Dear Men, You Are Not Entitled to Underwear Models</h2> <div><h3>If you realize that, you might get more dates</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*V9PLO_x9v3reQleh)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Hemsworth, Evans, and Pratt are great, but most women find other types of men attractive as well

Chris Hemsworth from Wikipedia Commons

There’s no doubt that Chris Hemsworth is attractive. He’s tall, rugged, muscled, and very masculine looking. But I also like the playful twinkle in his eyes and the fact that he seems like a genuinely kind and interesting person. Hemsworth says he became an actor so that he could get his parents out of debt. Someone told him he could make good money acting, and so he did it in order to help out his folks. Chris Hemsworth also recently did a series for Disney+ called Limitless where he explored different ways to take care of his body, mind, and spirit so that he could be alert and spry enough in old age to play with his grandchildren. He did some amazing things, like swimming in freezing water, but the curiosity and tenacity he displayed were what made the most impact on me.

So, sure, the body of a god is very easy on the eyes, but that’s far from the only thing I find attractive about Chris Hemsworth — or any man. Conversely, I find a lot of ripped male models uninteresting because although they may be fit, they also just look like they’d just be assholes. Their sculpted bodies don’t do it for me because of their sneering faces. So not interesting. On the other hand, I do agree with lots of women that all sorts of other less godlike men are incredibly hot.

Jeremy Allen White, as the brilliant, but perenially greasy chef of The Bear. Harry Styles wearing pearls with his painted nails. Young John Malkovich’s brooding intensity, Daniel Day Kim, Kurt Cobain with scraggly hair in a dress, Taika Waititi, the list could go on and on. Just because you as a man find physically imposing, chiseled, dominant (white) men to be the most compelling, doesn’t mean that women necessarily agree with you or that other types of guys aren’t also attractive to them.

And that’s what it really comes down to. If you as a man don’t believe that women find any other sorts of guys interesting or attractive, that’s about you projecting your preferences about how a man should be and not about actual women’s preferences. Of course, Chris Evans, Chris Pratt, and Chris Hemsworth are delicious — nobody is saying that most women won’t agree. What I’m saying is that believing that those are the only sorts of men that women like is just telling yourself a very disempowering fairy tale based on what you consider to be important in a man — something that may or may not be all that important to an actual woman.

Sure, I see the appeal of a guy who looks like a Viking warrior, but I also don’t want to be with a guy who spends all his time in the gym and who won’t ever eat a piece of cake with me. And I sure don’t want to be with a man who thinks that he can tell me what to do. And most women agree. There are a few who want that sort of guy, but there are frankly, a lot more men who want to date a Barbie than there are women who want to actually date a Ken doll.

Famously plain Henry Kissinger is said to have been the “playboy of the West Wing” because he was a great listener. Kissinger is reported to have always been a friendly sort who took a real interest in the women around him. His flashing eyes were full of both intelligence and fun and he is said to have reveled in both his self-identified roles as a scholar and as a lover of women. Kissinger was short and jowly, so it certainly wasn’t his physique that made him so popular with the ladies, and there were plenty of other powerful men in Washington who did not have his reputation with women.

There’s been a lot of speculation about what Pete Davidson had to offer Kim Kardashian (or any of the other beautiful women that he’s dated). In Kim’s case, it certainly wasn’t money or fame. Perhaps after so many years with an intense, unstable, controlling guy like Kanye West, she just enjoyed being around someone who was funny and low-key? Kim has referred to Pete as “thoughtful” and “genuine.” Other former flames of his seem to agree. Past girlfriend Emily Ratajkowski has said, “Guys are like, ‘Wow, what’s that guy got.’ And I’m like, I mean, he seems super charming. He’s vulnerable. He’s lovely.”

The fact that so many men are mystified by Davidson’s appeal speaks to the disconnect between what so many men think women want, and what many women actually want.

Of course, women like confidence. Everyone likes genuine confidence, but that’s more about knowing and owning who you actually are than being powerful and commanding. You don’t need to be some incel’s dream of an Alpha Male in order to be attractive to women. Lantern jaws, huge arms, and the ability to intimidate anyone in the room with both your handsomeness and your imposing physicality is much more of a male dominance hierarchy fantasy than it is a dream of actual women.

Of course, we appreciate the Chris guys, but that doesn’t mean that they are the only sorts of guys that most women like. In fact, if you search “What do women want in a man,” most lists will begin with confidence, and go on from there to include other character traits, like stability, respect, and emotional availability. It’s not that the physical aspect doesn’t matter at all, but it matters to most women less than most guys seem to think (perhaps because it matters a lot to them).

Recent online surveys of more than 1,000 women between the ages of 21 and 54 (one was conducted by Princeton, New Jersey’s opinion Research Corporation; the other was done on BestLifeOnline.com) found that women value personality far more than physical attractiveness. What women want in a man is faithfulness and dependability, a sense of humor, the ability to listen, and a sense of style. Only 13 percent of women cited muscular build as a factor in physical attractiveness. On the other hand, 66 percent of women said moral integrity will “make me quiver.”

Things like assertiveness do matter but in the context of speaking up about what you think is important, not in being performatively aggressive. As one article noted, quiet confidence gives you three things that aggressive dominance doesn’t: class, mystery, and manners — all things that are highly attractive to the average woman. Genuine chemistry is also key for most women, and that can’t be faked with just looks (or bank account) alone. What about who you really are do you bring to the table and how does that connect with her and make her feel?

Sure, I find Chris Hemsworth very attractive, in part because of who he seems to be as a person (more so than Evans or Pratt), but I also really like guys like Eddie Redmayne and Dave Grohl. I like how they look but also the whole package. Stop projecting what you think is attractive on a man and believe women when they say it isn’t necessarily the same for them. They can appreciate the appeal of the Chris guys, but there are a lot of other things that most women find important and attractive. Just ask Pete Davidson.