Women | Health | Self Improvement
How This Hotwife Bucks Convention And Makes Her Fifties Fabulous
The Joy Of Sex After 50!
Another year has passed. I know I may be a little older but I’d like to believe I’m a whole lot sexier.
Age has given me something my younger self could only dream about — sexual confidence. I believe I am living proof women over 50 can be sexy and desirable.
If you’re a woman or the partner of a woman who is interested in making your fifties fabulous, I have some advice I’d like to share with you. I want every woman to learn you don’t need to relegate the second half of your life to baking and bird watching. Hell no! Can you imagine Aphrodite or Helen of Troy doing that?
Before you read further, I need to warn you. The advice I am about to share with you is written by a woman in her fifties who is a real, practicing Hotwife. Yes, I am married. I’m also a mother. But my fifties are filled with sexual adventures. I’m living my best life now. Let’s all be a little more Mae West than Pioneer Woman. Why? Because in my world, I definitely want men to want to come up and see me some time.
A Hotwife is a married woman who is allowed and/or encouraged by her husband to pursue sexual relationships with other individuals.
Tip #1 Stop Listening to Negative Media Messages
You know all of those media articles that tell all of us that women over 50 are invisible? Don’t believe them.
Do you think Madonna and Cher believe this crap? No. If they did, they wouldn’t get out of bed let alone go on a world concert tour.
It’s all bullshit generated by the media to sell their publications by preying on female insecurities. They’re just part of an entire beauty industry that tries to tell us we’re not good enough. Don’t allow yourself to become a victim of this negative message.
Women everywhere try their best to stop the ravages of time. Many of us falsely believe aging can be prevented if we just apply another new cream. If that fails to do the job, we may try some Botox or even fillers and hope that like a push-up bra, we can fool men. It can work — but only temporarily. Eventually, no amount of Botox will ever truly stop Father Time.
Tip #2 Men are interested in women over 50
The fact is plenty of men are interested in dating older women. Much to my surprise, younger men are too. Why wouldn’t they be? We are educated, less needy, and have over lives figured out. Younger men may also believe they could learn something from an older woman. Think Mrs. Robinson. They’d be right.
But, perhaps most importantly, what makes older women most attractive to men is they are no longer seeking a life-long commitment from men. We’re just seeking a good time. If you’re like me, you might be happily married and looking to escape your weekly routine for a few hours each week. Maybe Cyndi Lauper was right all along and girls really do just want to have fun!
Tip #3 Find a Lover
Tinder and other dating apps are filled with men looking for women of a certain age. Before putting yourself online, take some time to consider how you plan to market yourself. Do some research. Invest in some good photos.
Also, you’ll need to be patient. Dating online is a little like searching for a needle in a haystack. Always start with a phone call before investing time and energy into meeting someone in a lounge for a drink. Know your boundaries and dump the idiots who seem to think all women want to see are unsolicited dick pics.
A year ago on a dark and stormy night (I’m not kidding, it really was), I met a man in a bar for a drink. On this night, my time was limited. I only had one hour to discover if this guy was worth seeing again.
As I’ve detailed in other Medium articles, this meeting was part of my mandatory screening process. Before I consider a potential new sexual partner, I need to discover if we have an intellectual and, of course, most importantly, sexual connection.
Over the past two years, I’ve balanced my primary relationship with my life partner Mr. BDJ and the lover I met on that dark and stormy night. Much to my surprise, we recently celebrated our one-year anniversary together. Although my lover is ten years my senior, his age does not impact his performance. Every Sunday night, my lover ensures I enjoy a high-quality erotic experience. This experience is extended further when my life partner Mr. BDJ reclaims my pussy when I arrive home.
Tip #4 Appearance matters
None of us is twenty anymore. But if you want to continue to be thought of as a sexually active woman, you need to look after yourself. You can do a lot without investing in cosmetic procedures. But a few Botox injections can soften life’s little lines.
First and foremost, in the online dating world, most men are interested in finding out if you are HWP or height, and weight proportionate. One way to ensure you fit the bill is to stay physically active. Not only will you benefit physically and mentally from increased physical activity, but you will also have more energy. It is your energy level that will make you appear to be younger than you are.
Just like men, women come in all shapes and sizes. From the Rubenesque to the differently-abled or difabled (a much more positive word than disabled), I’m happy to report that when it comes to the dating scene there truly is a lid for every pot.
Tip #5 Seek new sexual experiences
Sex in my fifties has never been easier or better. For all of you women who think when you turn 50, you need to curl up on your couch or sofa with a blanket and a cat and forget about your sexuality — think again. You haven’t died. There’s much more to life than watching Hallmark channel’s smarmy romances.
This past year, I stretched my sexual wings further and lived out a longstanding sexual fantasy of mine — the gangbang.
Now before you get all judgy with me, I know you’re probably one of the millions of men and women who enjoy watching this popular genre on PornHub and other pornography sites. So cut the crap! I was just brave enough to turn my fantasy into a reality. To be fair, I didn’t even realize I fantasized about a gangbang experience until a few months ago.
I know the very word gangbang can be polarizing. If you asked anyone in the Swinger community if they had participated in a gangbang, they would more than likely deny ever thinking about or, god forbid, participating in one.
But I did it! I attended an interracial event last year where I was asked if I was interested in participating in a gangbang. Well, you know me. Of course, I said yes. If I said no, how would I be able to live with myself? We only live once. Let’s create some great memories we can carry with us into our care homes.
Over the years, I’ve dated men from all different racial backgrounds. Skin color has never been something I’ve spent much time thinking about. I always look at the person. It’s their intellect, wit, and personality that attract me. However, I will admit I fully appreciate a well-made man.
While a gangbang may not be for everyone, I strongly encourage every woman to push herself to explore new things and experience life to its fullest.
Personal Reflections & Insights
Turning 50 is a big milestone for any woman. Yes, it’s a big number. When I was a younger woman, I never dreamed it would arrive. But it did. Wrinkles and all.
Thankfully, I’ve been blessed with very good genes. 50 is an age I always thought would be a date in the future. Unfortunately, that future is now.
The great thing about turning fifty is I’ve learned to accept myself for who I am. I’ve built a circle of friends — men, and women — who celebrate their sexuality. I’m also able to celebrate my deepening laugh lines. They were developed and earned over time by spending time with friends and family.
Thankfully, my body remains strong. Years spent swimming has given me long, lean muscles. I’m grateful for the time I invested. The muscle memory it built has paid me tremendous dividends.
While I’ll never achieve the perfect flat stomach of my youth, my c-section scar will always be a reminder of my son’s birth.
If my younger self was to look at me now, I wonder what she would think. Would she see a strong, self-determined, beautiful woman who celebrates her sexuality? Or, would she act like the teenager she once was and be judgey in a misguided effort to fit in with her peers? I’d like to think she would keep her thoughts to herself but feel a little pang of jealousy for this older woman who has managed to overcome society’s expectations and chart her own future.
What I definitely know for sure is that my sex life has never been better. I’m a Hotwife and a Swinger whose past year has been filled with thrilling sexy adventures. I’m looking ahead to a year filled with adventures. Rest assured, I’ll have some stories to share.
© 2023 Belle du Journey
Belle du Journey writes on Medium about sex, life, relationships, and writing. If this story is appearing anywhere other than Medium.com, it appears without my consent and has been stolen.
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