Without Roe v. Wade, I Wouldn’t Be Here
Why is it so hard to see women as more than breeding machines?
We all knew it was coming. Only months after a conservative judge was shoved onto the Supreme Court we are already seeing the case that could make or break the Roe v. Wade decision that saved generations of women. Because a woman is more than a fetus or potential baby bearer. She has hopes and dreams outside her reproductive potential.
Some women choose to become moms, others do not wish to. Or they desire to put off rearing children until they have a more steady partner, better income, or just are in a better mental place for one of the hardest jobs there out there.
Now doom and gloom reign on my timeline. Articles questioning whether or not women’s unfettered federal right to abortion will survive are everywhere. And I’m well and truly scared. But I can’t help but feel sad for an upcoming generation. One bad night could cause them nine months of needless pregnancy because they can’t terminate the pregnancy after fertilization. Alternatively, their decision to take matters into their own hands could land them in jail, with the title of “child murder” hanging over them.
My own experience with abortion isn’t one I bring up often. But it’s important that those who feel comfortable share their abortion stories. How it helped them, and how safe the procedure was when allowed to proceed as it was supposed to, with no ultrasound blackmailing you into motherhood.
After a short relationship, I discovered the person I was seeing was in fact seeing at least 2 women. I broke it off immediately. However a month later, as cliché as it sounds, I missed my period. I was so nervous as I held that stupid flimsy stick in my hands. Something so delicate has no business delivering such important news in my opinion.
The stick eventually affirmed my worst fear. I was indeed pregnant.
Lots of inspiring content out there show the glee couples feel when learning that they have a fetus with the potential to become a baby on their hands. Or, er, in a uterus anyway. But I was in the other camp. My reaction was to scream into my pillow for maybe an hour, crying. Then I got on the phone with my friend and asked her what I should do.
“Girl,” she said. “You’re 23. Do you want this kid? Do you want to be a single mom? Do you want to give up your dreams of travel so you can chase that douche around for child support payments since you’ve got no savings?”
No, no I did not. I got the abortion pill and waited it out with my friend. My story doesn’t sound dramatic. That’s how it should be. Access to a medical decision regarding my body should be mundane after the decision is made. It should be for every woman.
Sadly this isn’t the case. My privilege of living in a state with liberal laws, and in a city where access to abortions was easy, made my decision and execution of that decision easy. There are those who desperately need abortions who can’t get to a clinic or even buy the pills online. Some states are even attempting to criminalize miscarriages in an attempt to stop women from self-inducing abortions in less-safe but effective ways. Look, no one wants to fall downstairs. But when you’re desperate that’s something you might do if it means terminating a pregnancy.
I say my life is saved because of Roe v. Wade. And it is. The life I live now is safe because I didn’t have to go through 9 months of pain and expense so I could give a child up for adoption. I’m alive because my method of attaining an abortion was safe and regulating, not requiring me to ingest chemicals under the sink and hope for the best. My financial future isn’t in peril because I’m taking care of a child that I would not have been able to afford. And my mental health isn’t dealing with the trauma of carrying an unwanted baby to term.
We are truly living in a moment where safe abortions could be outlawed by states who don’t view women as anything other than factories that bear babies. Women can be trapped into staying with bad men because they have a child tying them together even though they tried to get away. Those who want to escape oppressive laws may not have the funds to do so. Lives, both literal and the potential future life of the person seeking a safe abortion, will be lost if Roe v. Wade is fundamentally overturned.
