With a Courageous Heart

Are you willing to risk it?

Love takes courage. Ironically, the root of the word courage itself is “cor,” which means heart, and its original meaning was to speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart. We can’t do that until we communicate it to ourselves first. That is what I mean by a courageous heart — a willingness to face fear and the perceived danger of being vulnerable head-on.

Matters of love come in all shapes, sizes, and conditions. Yes, conditions. If you think about it, the premise of unconditional love isn’t loving at all. It doesn’t allow each person to be themselves together as it implies. The truth of the matter is how we act and show love is based on conditions, expectations, and attachments- as harsh and defeatist as that may sound. We all have hidden behind a closed heart for fear of being hurt. In reality, broken hearts create an opening of that heart. A place where our vulnerability lies-the inconsistent actions of how we act versus how we feel.

Rather than unconditional love, non-judgmental love is a term I started to use. Love is love, and it begins with the actions of love we give to ourselves. Our awareness of who we are, paying attention to our self-talk, and our reactions to those thoughts lead us to our courageous heart, not our judgments.

You can use the analogy of matters of love like walking the aisles of the grocery store. Perhaps you have a list of things you want or need. Rarely do you ever stop and grab only those. You also look for something you think might be better at the moment. Something quick and easy to fulfill the immediate moment. Or you go without a list, relying on your memory. You know you are hungry but can’t decide exactly what you want. As you walk up and down the aisles, things catch your eye. Often, it is only the things placed at your eye level. Before you know it, your cart is full, you pay more than intended, and you get home and find you forgot a thing or two. You didn’t remember what you actually had at home, forcing you to settle for something else than what you wanted.

For me, non-judgemental love is the key to speaking one’s mind with our whole hearts. It starts with the willingness to risk taking chances to act differently within ourselves. To be vulnerable within ourselves. Learning self-trust allows us to trust others. Giving self-compassion to ourselves first opens the heart to give and receive it from others. When we change our negative self-talk, we open the doors to supportive communication between ourselves and those around us. Those are all actions I willing risk to move toward to open myself up to self-love. Even if I fail, I will enjoy the path I am on.

Riku Arikiri asked, “Do you willingly take risks, knowing you might fail regarding matters of the heart? At sixty years old, I can finally say yes, I do. Courageously and wholeheartedly