Witchy’s (Highly Questionable) “Tarot Reading” for Trista Signe Ainsworth
Uh…not necessarily helpful “advice” for her Tea-Room Dream…
Note from Liberty: For those of you who might not be aware, Witchy ran a little contest for our Pub Family in the “newsletterish.” She is learning Tarot (and I use the term, “learning,” loosely) and offered ten free readings — which later became 11.
There were a lot of entries! Trista Signe Ainsworth is one of the lucky (?) winners!
Witchy doesn’t have her own Medium account (the idea of having one terrifies her, as do most things) so she is using mine.
Trista! Liberty told me that your dream is to open a tea-room! So I thought it would be good to ask the cards for advice that might help with that!
I closed my eyes — oh, so tightly! — and I concentrated while I shuffled the cards and pulled one out for you.
I got the 7 of Cups (in the photo above). When I focused on the card, I got this message:
“Are you ready to order, Sir?”
“Yeah, my girlfriend here would like a glass of the vintage Dragon, the 1382 if you’ve got it? That was the best year.”
“Of course, Sir. And for you?”
“Hmm. I’d love a glass of Blonde Woman but, uh, my girlfriend suggested that wouldn’t be good for me…so, uh…I’ll take a nice dry Sand Castle, please.”
I wonder why that wouldn’t be good for him. Maybe too much sugar?
I think this card knows you are planning to serve lots of different goodies for your customers.
It also means be careful not to serve anything that could cause a bad reaction. Like a psychotic meltdown.
To see if there was anything else I could tell you about your tea room, I drew another card. I got this one:
Do not be scared! This is the Death card but it does not mean you are going to die! Liberty told me that — a lot — because every time I saw it, I screamed and hid under the bed. 💨 🛌🏼 👀 I promise. It does not mean that.
I stared at this card for a long time, asking what it could tell me about your tea room and finally, I got this message:
“I don’t care if you put big, fancy roses in your salads. That vegan diet doesn’t seem to be doing much for ya, pal.”
“Maybe. But they killed the garlic breath, right?”
The card says do not give your customers salad with their cake. They do not want salad with their cake or with their cookies. Not even if you put roses in it.
You can put roses in their cake or roses in their cookies. You can even put roses in their tea. But do not give them salad with cake. Yuck.
And definitely do not give them garlic cake or garlic cookies. Or garlic tea. Hmm. Garlic tea. I would like to drink six gallons of it and then breathe on my pinhead ex-boyfriend, Vladimir the Vampire, for all the rotten things he — oh, wait. No, I don’t. That would be mean. I am sorry. Please pretend I did not say that. Maybe tomorrow, I will stop feeling hurt about the bad things he did.
I think these cards are saying that your tea room will be a great success as long as you serve lots of cakes and cookies, but do not serve salad. Or crazy people.
The Most Important Part:
- You are going to have a lot of happy customers eating the many yummy goodies you will serve.
- Do not serve dragons or snakes or heads. Not even if they are in pretty goblets. They are bad ideas. I know. They look pretty. But it does not matter; they are still bad ideas.
- Do not serve salad with your cakes.
- Do not serve garlic cake or garlic cookies or garlic tea.
- If what you are eating makes you too skinny, eat more cake.
- Do not wish mean things on your pinhead ex-boyfriend.
- Put a sandbox in your tea room so people can play in it and build sand castles.
For a (proper!) Tarot Reading by Liberty:
For your own Witchy “Tarot reading” or to order one for a friend, click here.
Want more Witchy Tarot readings?
Tagging our beloved Pub Family so you can join in the fun for the lucky (?) winners of Witchy’s contest:
Dr Andrea Polzer Kris Bedenian Rodney Brazier Patti Murray Voncannon Carrie Kolar Croix Sather Deb Fiore Dina Alexander DL Nemeril Donnette Anglin Loren Lieberthal Jimmy Misner Jr. Judy Millar Julie Gaeta Pene Hodge Karen Schwartz James Knight Laura Izquierdo Dr. Preeti Singh Radhika Iyer Sam Branstner Sharon Sayler, Author Umme Salma Tamil T Mann Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles Lion~ Wendy S. Bradfield Yana Bostongirl Jo An Fox-Wright Maddox Suma Narayan Penny Walsh Shameem Anwar Irene Fassler Sandy Peckinpah Trista Signe Ainsworth Slow train A.H. Mehr Alex Frederickson Ashley Nicole B.R. Shenoy Carolyn Hastings Christina Christine Vann, MSc. Ellie Jacobson ✍🏻 The Soulful Scribbler Isabel Young Kaz Rochford Nia Simone McLeod Nicole Hilbig Patricia Wright Pam Winter Rachella Angel Page Jodian Marie Thomas, MS, Bsc, Asc L Burton Muhammad Abdullah Kate Aries Danielle Hestand Sahil Patel Jessica Rabel Sharing Words Malky McEwan Belinda Castle Barbara Cook Tyra Jaide Megan Llorente Eko BP Drashti Shroff Evergreen Eden Bernie Pullen Hamsalekha Rhea Anglesey CARMEN F MICSA Robin Oakman Mary Vraa Libby Shively McAvoy Kristina God Niall Leah Debbra Lupien, Voice of the Akashic Records Toya Qualls-Barnette June Kirri Dawn :) Divya Goswami BichoDoMato Evon Carole Olsen Cosmin Firta Jennifer Dunne Kylie van Gelder Neha Sonney, Author Christina Sponias Ian Hanson Ira Robinson JF Danskin Patrick OConnell Mary V Elvie Lins❤️ Carmellita Roopleen Esther Friolo- Guirao Gauri Sirur Kristie Leong M.D. IJaveria Ansari Asim Nori Dipo Adebayo Andreia Damian Berthran Benaiah Jenine Bsharah Baines Jodi Marie Ximena Paz Paredes Mahein Kazi Gary L Ellis Mario López-Goicoechea Raine Lore Vishal Mehta Aarti Tailor A Rustic Mind (Manali Desai) Mona S Gable Jay Krasnow Sarah Firmie Ouangre Anne Emerick Andra Forbes Anaya Nosso Kasturi Patra Mary B
