The Witchy One | Pub Family Interviews | Community Engagement

Witchy Interviews Jimmy Misner Jr. on Secret Clubs, Bugs Bunny Sightings, and Deranged Ostriches

Plus the weirdest grammatically correct sentence in existence

Note from Liberty: Happy Sunday, Everyone!

As you may (or may not) know, our little blue witch friend is conducting interviews of our beloved Pub Family members. Today, Witchy shares her interview with Jimmy Misner Jr.

As Witchy doesn’t have her own Medium account, she is using mine.

1) What do you love about writing?

I started writing as nothing more than an attempt to make money for myself. I knew I was an okay writer, so I figured I could give it a shot. As I began writing, was where I realized, even as I wasn’t making much money yet, that this was something I wanted to keep doing.

There are several things I love about writing. I like being able to share my thoughts, my feelings, my truth with other people and get feedback from other people. Whether they agree or not is hardly the point. I like that writing is a medium where I still have lots of room for improvement. My writing has improved by leaps and bounds since I started about, oh, 9 months ago?

Finally, I think the biggest thing that I love about writing is knowing that, not often, but occasionally, my words make a difference in other people’s lives. Just giving people something to think about is great but knowing that I changed a mind, hopefully for the better, is the true bright spot in writing, at least for me.

Witchy: It is nice that your words make a difference in other people’s lives. My words only seem to make people laugh, but I do not understand why. 🤔

2) If you could be omnipotent for a day, what would you do?

You couldn’t have asked me a better question! In some way or another, I’ve given this question a lot of thought. Let’s start with the selfish. I’d make myself whole and healthy. I’d improve my absolutely terrible memory and make it perfect. I’d probably make myself smarter. If I could, I’d try to make myself more wise. Basically, I’d make myself the best me that I could.

Stepping away from being selfish, there are a lot of things that the world needs help with and I’d be happy to help. I’d “fix” global warming, get rid of pollution, litter and the like. Regrow massive amounts of trees where they need to be, restore the coral reefs. I’d get rid of nuclear waste and nuclear weapons while I’m at it.

There are so many things that I would snap my fingers and fix. You may have noticed, I haven’t mentioned anything like racism, sexism and the like. Well, I want to fix those things but I don’t want to directly just change people’s minds. I have a solution for these things but it might be controversial.

Not to be a downer but I believe that humanity as we are, will always struggle to unite and fix the ills of this world. So, how do I fix this without just snapping my finger and making everyone agree with me?

I would change people. I would make it so that people are more empathetic, less prone to anger, generally more rational and intelligent. I’ve thought this out a lot and I get way more detailed but that’s the gist of it.

Of course, I’d also make everyone else healthy and whole as well, I’m not so selfish I’d skip that part, lol. I believe, with people being more intelligent, more empathetic, less angry and less greedy, we’d see the possibility of true peace.

Sure, I’m still messing with people’s minds but to a lesser, debatably more acceptable agree, lol.

Witchy: Boy, you have a big, important list! I would put vegan ice cream shops everywhere (with only the yummiest vegan ice cream!) so no one would have to walk more than five or ten minutes to get some. 🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦 You cannot be sad or scared if you have ice cream!

Oh. And I would make spiders stop being terrifying. 😳🕷️

3) If you could combine two animals into one, which would you choose?

I’d mix giraffes with elephants. Just imagine a chunky, grey giraffe with a trunk they can use to reach the ground, and a fantastic memory, lol. I like this combination just ‘cause it makes me laugh to think of it. :)

Witchy: That sounds almost as terrifying as spiders! If you ever did anything to annoy the girelephant, it would never forget and 137 years later it could mow you down or with a long neck and a long trunk, too, it could even lasso you out of a tree!

I don’t think I would ever sleep, worrying that I had offended it, and it was coming to get me! 😳

4) What is the weirdest thing you can think of to put on pizza?

Pineapple, lol! Okay, kidding aside, I’d have to say the weirdest thing to put on a pizza would probably be something gross like hair, toenails, and dirt. Just throw inedible things on top and call it pizza, lol! I’d spin it as gourmet and charge people through the nose for the “experience” of eating it, lmao!

Witchy: 😳 Wait. Pizza without pineapple is weird? It is supposed to have pineapple! It isn’t pizza without pineapple! We did not have pizza in the Transylvania Forest. And we did not have pineapple either. I heart them. 😍 I cannot imagine having pizza without pineapple on it.

But I have no trouble imagining it without hair, toenails, and dirt. 😖

5) What kind of secret club would you start and what would you do in it?

I think the best secret club would be a club for charity. Where people who want to help but don’t want to trumpet it to the world can come together. In my opinion, helping people is about what you’re doing for them, not the attention or praise you can get for doing so.

I’d gather like-minded individuals and we’d meet to figure out what local things we’d like to help with, as well as pick good, reputable charities to donate to. Also, while we don’t need praise or attention, why not have the occasional party for ourselves to celebrate the good that we’re doing?

Witchy: Oh! Oh! Oh! I love parties! 🎉 I think I would have a secret club just for that! Imagine! A secret party club! Only…it would be more fun with lots of people to come to the parties. So I guess I’d have to let the secret out.

Hmm. But then it wouldn’t be a secret club anymore. 😟 And maybe the parties wouldn’t be as much fun.

Wait! They would be parties! Of course they would be fun! Yay! 🎉🎈🍕

6) If you could star in a scary movie, what would it be about?

If I could star in a scary movie, it would probably just be a commentary on the real world. Set it in this scary, dark setting, where we look out at the world and see all these horrible things happening and so many people don’t seem to care.

It would have me as the guy who saw all of this “bad,” and realized it for just how bad it was but when I tried to tell people they just looked at my like I was crazy, or they simple were completely apathetic about it.

I think creating monsters that are representative of things in real life would be a way to make it a scary movie but still put across the message I’m trying to convey. Be just a little over the top but still have a clear message.

An example of a monster would be a huge, bloated disgusting thing, surrounded by luxuries as it feeds off of emaciated, nearly skeletal humans. This would be an example of the growing gap between the 1% and everyone else. I honestly can’t think of anything scarier than the real world issues that continue to go unresolved in our world.

Witchy: 😳 I do not want to watch that film! I think I will stick to the Wizard of Oz. That was scary enough for me!

7) Martin, the tennis ball, lives with loads of others in the back room of a tennis club. He hates being covered in fuzz. He says it creeps him out and feels gross so he has started to shave. Most of the others think Martin is weird. A few admire him and wish they had the guts to shave, too. One of them, Dougie, thinks Martin has lost his mind and should be medicated. Dougie has a reputation as a control-freak troublemaker. What are some of the conversations in the group?

Martin: “I’m so glad that I was able to make the changes I needed to be happy!”

Dougie: “It’s unnatural! Why can’t you just deal with it?”

Martin: “I did deal with it for a long time but it made me really unhappy. Why do you care anyway? It doesn’t affect you!”

Dougie: “Doesn’t affect me? I have to look at you, don’t I? Sometimes we’re next to each other and I can feel how unnatural you are!”

Zack: “Dude, you barely even see him! Just mind your own business!”

Dougie: “No! I’ve heard a few of the others! There are some who agree with him! Before you know it, they’ll shave as well! Then, more and more will!”

Zack: “So? If people think this is something that will make them happy, who are we to tell them they can’t?”

Dougie: “I already said it, it’s unnatural! Think of the children! What if they think this is what they should do!”

Martin: “I’m not trying to get anyone else to do this! I support them if they choose to but I’m not interested in recruiting!”

Dougie: “I doubt that! It doesn’t matter though, just by existing you’re leading others astray! Personally, I think you need help!”

Martin: “Help with what? I’ve done what I needed to feel good. I don’t need any help.”

Dougie: “No, there’s something wrong with you. For your own good, I think we’re going to have to put you on medication. Make you normal again!”

Martin: “Shaving was for my own good. Putting me on medication wouldn’t make me feel better, it would just make you feel better.”

Witchy: I think Martin needs new friends. They should all go live in the Transylvania Forest with the witches and Vladimir the Pinhead Vampire.who were so mean to me.

Oh! I have a better idea! Martin could shave them while they are sleeping! Oh, wait. That would be mean. Funny. But mean.

Don’t do it, Martin!

8) If Super Glue is supposed to stick to absolutely everything, why doesn’t it stick to the inside of the tube?

It’s only kind of sticky when it’s wet, it’s most sticky when it dries. So, it doesn’t stick too much while inside the bottle. That’s about all I got for you on that one, lol!

Witchy: 🤭 Hmm. Then I would like to know how it can be unsticky when it is wet and sticky when it dries. I do not understand glue.

Or mornings. Why are they even a thing?

9) Which would be a better pet? An ostrich or a buffalo?

I don’t know enough about either to make an informed decision, lol. I’d probably go with an ostrich just cause I think that would be cooler. I also think you’d need less space and less food to take care of an ostrich.

Witchy: I think ostriches are deranged. Completely deranged! I mean, have you ever seen their eyeballs? And the creepy way they stare at you?? And those big pecky things are terrifying!

Ostriches are so scary! I would not want to be chased by one. Especially because they are 100 feet tall! Okay, eight or nine. But if they are deranged and have those big pecky things on their faces, they might as well be 100 feet tall!

Buffalo are fuzzy. I like fuzzy. Mostly they just stand around. And they do not have scary eyeballs. Plus they have a funny sentence about buffalo from Buffalo that is grammatically correct:

“Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.”

That sentence really has me buffalo’d. 🤪

10) What does Bugs Bunny do for a living?

Bugs Bunny makes his living making appearances nowadays. He used to be a regular bunny, foiling foolish hunters and happily chomping on carrots but fame has gone to his head! He’s still pretty cool though, so I probably shouldn’t judge him for his choice on how to make a living.

Witchy: 😲 He makes appearances? For real? Oh, that’s so exciting! Maybe I can get his autograph! I wonder where he is appearing next? Do you think he comes to England sometimes? Do you think he might even come to the woods where I live? I wonder how I can find out. Oh, boy! That would be fun! Oh! I wonder if he is on that Instant-gram! I could even send him a message! An actual message to Bugs Bunny! I mean, the real, actual Bugs Bunny! Wow! Maybe he could —

Liberty: Witchy!

Witchy: 😳

Liberty: Breathe!

Witchy: 🤐

11) What is the greatest thing you hope to achieve in your life?

I don’t have any grand desires. I think the greatest thing I could achieve is to do enough good, spread enough positivity into the world, that the world is a better place for having had me here. Even if it’s just a little bit.

Witchy: That sounds like a good idea, Jimmy!

Thank you for letting me interview you. I hope no girelephants mow you down and that you find a fun, non-pecking ostrich for a pet. (Whispering so Liberty doesn’t hear me: And I hope that you get to meet Bugs Bunny. And if you do, please tell him I’m on that Instant-gram!)

Read Jimmy’s work here on Medium!

Follow Jimmy on Twitter

Tagging our beloved Pub Family so you can share in the fun and get to know a little more about one of our members!

Dr Andrea Polzer Kris Bedenian Rodney Brazier Patti Murray Voncannon Carrie Kolar Croix Sather Deb Fiore Dina Alexander DL Nemeril Donnette Anglin Loren Lieberthal Jimmy Misner Jr. Judy Millar Julie Gaeta Pene Hodge Karen Schwartz James Knight Laura Izquierdo Dr. Preeti Singh Radhika Iyer Sam Branstner Sharon Sayler, Author Umme Salma Susie Kearley Tamil T Mann Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles Lion~ Wendy S. Bradfield Yana Bostongirl Jo An Fox-Wright Maddox Suma Narayan Penny Walsh Shameem Anwar Irene Fassler Sandy Peckinpah Trista Signe Ainsworth Slow train A.H. Mehr Alex Frederickson Ashley Nicole B.R. Shenoy Carolyn Hastings Christina Christine Vann, MSc. Ellie Jacobson ✍🏻 The Soulful Scribbler Isabel Young Kaz Rochford Nia Simone McLeod Nicole Hilbig Patricia Wright Pam Winter Rachella Angel Page Jodian Marie Thomas, MS, Bsc, Asc L Burton Muhammad Abdullah Kate Aries Danielle Hestand Sahil Patel Jessica Rabel Sharing Words Malky McEwan Belinda Castle Barbara Cook Tyra Jaide Megan Llorente Eko BP Drashti Shroff Evergreen Eden Bernie Pullen Hamsalekha Rhea Anglesey CARMEN F MICSA Robin Oakman Mary Vraa Libby Shively McAvoy Kristina God Niall Leah Debbra Lupien, Voice of the Akashic Records Toya Qualls-Barnette June Kirri Dawn :) Divya Goswami BichoDoMato Evon Carole Olsen Cosmin Firta Jennifer Dunne Kylie van Gelder Neha Sonney, Author Christina Sponias Ian Hanson Ira Robinson JF Danskin Patrick OConnell Mary V Elvie Lins❤️ Carmellita Roopleen Esther Friolo- Guirao Gauri Sirur Kristie Leong M.D. IJaveria Ansari Asim Nori Dipo Adebayo Andreia Damian Berthran Benaiah Jenine Bsharah Baines Jodi Marie Ximena Paz Paredes Mahein Kazi Gary L Ellis Mario López-Goicoechea