The Witchy One | Community Engagement | Pub Family Interviews
Witchy Interviews DL Nemeril on Being a Coffee Pot, Elephant Hydras, and Pie-Face War Zones
Plus some mad scientist mischief and mayhem for good measure
Hello, and Happy Sunday!
As you may (or may not) know, our little blue witch friend is conducting interviews of our beloved Pub Family members. Today, Witchy shares her interview with DL Nemeril, who writes loads of insightful, interesting, and thought-provoking pieces on Medium.
Enjoy learning more about this funny, wise and deeply spiritual member of our Pub Family!
As Witchy doesn’t have her own Medium account, she is using mine.
What do you love about writing?
Writing? Oh, my most excellent excuse to have tea with Ritz crackers dipped in raspberry jam, play some (lots) solitaire, ‘research’ (bumming around on the internet for things vaguely on topic. Or not.) while managing to maintain a pristine, white document? Oh, yes, I love doing that.
I’m a percolator writer. Have to wait until it boils to get anything worthwhile.
Second best is rereading something a while later and thinking — that’s pretty good!
Truth be told. I hate writing. But I love the results!
Witchy: Oh, that sounds like a good way to write! I want to write a book but I am having trouble starting. Liberty practically writes them when she is sleeping. I do not. Maybe if I try Ritz crackers dipped in raspberry jam, I could write. I have never had Ritz crackers with raspberry jam. That is probably because I have never had Ritz crackers. Or raspberry jam.
Hmm. I think I need to try that and see if it helps me write.
You are a percolator writer? I do not know what a percolator is but it sounds scary!
Liberty: It’s not scary. It’s a kind of coffee pot.
Witchy: A coffee pot? DL, do you write in a coffee pot??! How do you fit? That sounds awful! Isn’t it hot? Doesn’t the paper get wet? Is it dark? How do you see in there? Why would you —
Liberty: Witchy!
Witchy: — write in a coffee pot? Or do you mean you are a coffee pot? Oh, dear! How can you be a —
Liberty: Witchy!!
Witchy: I know, I know. “Breathe!”
Liberty: Wow. Getting the hang of this, I see…
Witchy: 🤓
Liberty: A percolator isn’t scary, although come to think of it, as a kid I thought my mother’s percolator sounded a little frantic just before the coffee was ready.
Witchy: 😳 I do not think I want to write in a coffee pot. Also, I do not want to be a coffee pot. And I do not think I would be good at frantic.
Liberty: No one is writing in a coffee pot, Witchy, or being one. Anyway, stop talking to me about coffee pots. You’re supposed to be talking to DL!
Witchy: Oops. 🙄
What’s the weirdest pet you’d love to have?
A snail. I had one once. He was called Smuggedly. He was very smug becauses he’d hidden in the basil plant I took in for the winter. Found him sliding around the sink. He was a very gourmet snail. Only the best would do.
In the spring, I put a dot of nail polish on her/him so I knew who she/he was. They are a little hard to tell apart as they don’t talk much. My cat sitter would feed him when she came for the cats. She’d send me Smuggedly-eating-baby-lettuce photos.
I wound up with a thundering herd of snails (not all of them little Smuggedlys). Finally, I did snail runs. Post-midnight, after a rainstorm, I would put 20 or so in a bucket and drop them off in vegetated spots. I had to do quite a few runs. I had A LOT of snails and I’m not keen on killing.
You have to put them pretty far away. If it’s less than 20 meters/65 feet away, they can find their way back. They’re not just cute critters batting their tiny, tentacle eyes.
Come to think of it, maybe an anteater would be better.
Witchy: 😳 Um…why?! Are you afraid of ants? Are ants mean? Do they eat people? What have you got against ants? What have anteaters got against ants? Oh, my! I hope there are no witcheaters out there somewhere! Should I be hiding under the bed? 💨 🛌🏼 👀
Smuggedly sounds cute! 🐌 I wish I could have met him. Or her.
I was watching a cooking show one time (trying to learn how not to blow up the forest — again — now that my magic is broken and I can’t use spells to cook) and…well…I just hope you did not move all those friends of Smuggedly’s to anywhere near French restaurants. 😳 🙄 🐌 🍳🧈🍋 🧄 🍽️ 😳
Can you remember an incident that made you laugh so hard, you cried?
I tried and tried and I cannot think of one damn thing. It’s happened but usually in “you had to be there” moments. Even that’s not coming back.
A little scary…
Witchy: Hmm. Maybe you need a new one and when it happens, write about it in your percolator so you don’t forget! Then you can remember it and laugh again as often as you want. And it might even make other people laugh, too.
If you could change what falls from the sky instead of rain, what would it be and why?
Rainbows. Lots of rainbows cascading down, coloring everything with beautiful colors.
Witchy: Ohhhh, I love colours! And I love rainbows! You have great ideas! Oh, boy! It would be fun to see snow all covered in rainbows. Wow. 🤩 🌈 And elephants! They are so big, they would be even more beautiful with rainbows all over them! 🌈🐘
On that subject (sort of)…what would be the scariest thing with eyes to scale up to the size of an elephant?
A hydra! I know. I know. It doesn’t have eyes. But, it’s plastered all over the inside of my head and I gotta get it out of there!!
It never dies, it grows back if it breaks. It buds babies off itself whenever it wants. It has stinging tentacles to paralyze its prey. It’s a big, long, powerful tube that contracts to suck things in. Just takes food in and poops.
One site calls it a hard-to-kill water monster.
I mean, can you IMAGINE!!!
AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
At the moment, the biggest is 0.38 mm or 0.015 of an inch.
Phew.
Witchy: I did not know what a hydra was. I had to look it up and I wish I had not done that. 😳 Those things are terrifying! And they never die?? I would be so scared even at their regular teeny weeny size! I cannot stand to think about them being the size of elephants! For sure, I would hide under the bed and never come out! 💨 🛌🏼 👀
What’s the worst thing to put in a piñata?
Oh dear. This is like your last question! My mind goes to all kinds of things that are too horrible or gross to say, like…. No, I can’t. Ugh, too awful. Um….
Eggs! Unless you want to make a massive, premixed omelet. Then, go ahead, Put the frying pan underneath it and whack your heart out.
Witchy: Oh, my. Raw eggs in a piñata would definitely be terrible! Ew! Ew! Ew! If that is only answer you thought you could give me, I hate to think what the others were ! 🤢
What would be the worst thing for the government to make illegal?
Compassion. But they’re doing a good job of that without making it illegal.
End of political statement.
Witchy: 🤐
Do you ever dream about being in an embarrassing situation?
I’m starring in a play but I can’t find the script so I can memorize my lines. I look everywhere Panic. Panic. PANIC. Too late. Out of time. Have to go to the theater. I’m going to let everyone down because I have a starring role. I feel terrible and over-the-top stressed.
I walk out on stage. There’s a guy in front of me in the orchestra pit trying to feed me the lines but I can’t hear him. Shuck center stage in front of a huge audience with nada.
I’ve dreamed that several times.
What do you think it means, Doctor Witchy?
Witchy: Liberty told me that dreams are very liberal.
Liberty: Literal.
Witchy: Oh. Literal. Anyway, she said they will often tell us the things that bother us the most, or that are scariest, or that we think about most often, and they do it in pretty plain language a lot of the time.
I do not know about these things but it sounds to me like you are afraid of disappointing people. Maybe because you have too much to do?
Or maybe you have a fear of failure and it has nothing to do with how stressed you are. I’ve had that fear since my spells went wonky and all my friends were so mean to me. Maybe we can have it together and it won’t feel so bad. 👭
What would be a fun alternative to war that countries could use to settle their differences?
Pies in the face might be a good way to go. The loser has to clean up.
Witchy: Oh, I love this! What a terrific idea! Maybe we should tell everyone who wants to fight! Maybe we should tell all the people who are in charge of countries!
And…it would be so good for pie-makers everywhere! Think of all the pies they could make! They would be rich! I love this idea. You are so clever! 🥧🥧🥧🥧🥧🥧🥧🥧🥧
You’re a mad scientist. If money and ethics weren’t issues, what experiment would you conduct?
I’d probe the brain and find the places that help people to release their buried wounds and trauma. Then I’d find the spark of the soul and give it a boost!
Witchy: Oooooh. Those are good answers!
Maybe you could also poke around in my brain and help me remember where I left my lucky rock! 🤔
Liberty: Doesn’t seem like it’s so lucky…🤭
Witchy: Huh?
Liberty: 🤐
What’s the greatest thing you hope to achieve in your life?
Ahem.
Yeah, I could live with that. Die reasonably fulfilled and realized.
Enlightenment would be cool too. Or so they say.
Witchy: Those are all wonderful, DL, and I know you are doing a lot of great things in all of those ways.
I hope I get to see you in person sometime. That would be fun! I know we would laugh so much! And I think I would learn a lot from you. Like maybe even where I left my lucky rock! Well, only if you ever become a mad scientist. Hmm. That could be a while. I hope I find my lucky rock sooner than that! 📆
Thank you for being my guest today. It was fun to learn more about you and to see pictures of you and your furry friend, Merlin. He is so handsome!
Although I am not sure I wanted to know about scary elephant-sized hydras! 😳
Next week’s interview is with the warm and funny Karen Schwartz!
If you’re looking for some soul food, check out loads of interesting articles and stories by DL Nemeril:
And here are more of Witchy’s interviews:
Tagging our beloved Pub Family so you can get to know one of our members:
Dr Andrea Polzer Kris Bedenian Rodney Brazier Patti Murray Voncannon Carrie Kolar Croix Sather Deb Fiore Dina Alexander DL Nemeril Donnette Anglin Loren Lieberthal Jimmy Misner Jr. Judy Millar Julie Gaeta Pene Hodge Karen Schwartz James Knight Dr. Preeti Singh Radhika Iyer Sam Branstner Sharon Sayler, Author Umme Salma Tamil T Mann Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles Lion~ Wendy S. Bradfield Yana Bostongirl Jo An Fox-Wright Maddox Suma Narayan Penny Walsh Shameem Anwar Irene Fassler Sandy Peckinpah Trista Signe Ainsworth Slow train A.H. Mehr Ashley Nicole B.R. Shenoy Carolyn Hastings Christina Christine Vann, MSc. Ellie Jacobson Isabel Young Kaz Rochford Nia Simone McLeod Nicole Hilbig Patricia Wright Pam Winter Jodian Marie Thomas, MS, Bsc, Asc L Burton Danielle Hestand Sahil Patel Malky McEwan Barbara Cook Tyra Jaide Eko BP Drashti Shroff Evergreen Eden Bernie Pullen Rhea Anglesey CARMEN F MICSA Robin Oakman Mary Vraa Libby Shively McAvoy Kristina God Niall Leah Debbra Lupien, Voice of the Akashic Records Toya Qualls-Barnette Vashni Stories Dawn :) Divya Goswami BichoDoMato Evon Carole Olsen Jennifer Dunne Kylie van Gelder Neha Sonney, Author Christina Sponias Ian Hanson JF Danskin Patrick OConnell Mary V Elvie Lins❤️ Carmellita Gauri Sirur Kristie Leong M.D. IJaveria Ansari Asim Nori Dipo Adebayo Andreia Damian Jenine Bsharah Baines Jodi Marie Mahein Kazi Mario López-Goicoechea Raine Lore Vishal Mehta Aarti Tailor A Rustic Mind (Manali Desai) Mona S Gable Sarah Firmie Ouangre Anne Emerick Andra Forbes Anaya Nosso Kasturi Patra Mary B Mel Janecka Rebecca Romanelli Life not abrupt (L.n.a.) Rebecka Rose