MUSINGS

Winning the Mind Game Is The Key To Overcoming An Addiction

Thinking right thoughts is a key to recovery

“Recovery feels like shit. It didn’t feel like I was doing something good; it felt like I was giving up. It feels like having to learn how to walk all over again.”

— Portia de Rossi

I once was the director of a crisis hotline.

That’s when I learned the meaning of the word crisis in the Chinese language is a combination of two different words: Danger and opportunity.

That’s how most people view recovery.

Some see it as a danger because it forces them to change their behavior while others see it as an opportunity for growth and learning more effective ways to deal with their problems in relationships.

For me, I look at recovery as an opportunity.

It was a chance to explore the underlying causes beneath my addiction by talking about my struggles in open shares and working through the 12 steps of recovery with a group of men.

Recovery wasn’t easy, and it still isn’t, but it was something I had to do. It was recover or fall deeper down the rabbit hole of addiction.

Fortunately, I’d reached the point in my life where I wanted to overcome my addiction.

I knew I needed help and freely admitted I was powerless to overcome my tendency to do the wrong thing, the first of the twelve steps of AA.

The Mind Game

“Where your thoughts go, the mind follows.”

— Joyce Meyer

A few weeks into my recovery, I realized the battle for sobriety takes place in your mind. Think right thoughts and you will be good. Think bad thoughts and you’ll be toast.

In other words, be wary of stinking thinking.

One of my teacher friends likes to motivate his students by telling them they’re the sum total of all their thoughts. Watch your thoughts, they lead to attitudes. Watch your attitude, they lead to words. Watch your words, they lead to actions. Watch your actions, they lead to habits.

But what if your mind is prone towards negative thoughts that make you want to turn to alcohol rather than facing the problems in your life?

What do you do then?

You have to program your mind with the right thoughts. Think of your mind as a bucket. Find it with thoughts or activities that will help you overcome your pattern of “stinking thinking.”

That’s where the battle of recovery is won: in the mind. But don’t take my word on it. The Ancient Greek philosopher put it this way:

“Excellence is not an act, it is a habit.”

— Aristotle

During my addiction, I didn’t stand a chance because of my habits.

I gave in whenever a stressful event occurred without a fight.

It gave me an excuse to turn to alcohol because my mind hadn’t been trained to fight against temptation. That’s why I needed to find a recovery group.

But we also need human support

“You can get the monkey off your back, but the circus never leaves town”

— Anne Lamott

There are no lone rangers in recovery.

Lamott said the above quote about recovery. It means we may learn new ways to deal with the hurts in our lives, but will always have people around us (family in particular) that will sometimes make it difficult to remain sober.

But ever see the movie The Greatest Showman?

One thing I took away from the movie is how P.T. Barnum created a family out of a collection of misfits who not only performed together, but they supported one another like a family.

Yes, we need to win the mind game, but we also need to surround ourselves with people to talk about a hard moment in a relationship when we’re in danger of losing the mind game. That’s why AA stresses having a sponsor.

It’s not just a sponsor’s job to share what they’ve learned about working the twelve steps to overcome their addiction.

It’s not a sponsor’s job to ask hard questions and to encourage their sponsee to take a searching and fearless inventory of their life (step four).

But it’s also to be there in a vulnerable time. One phone call away to chat.

How are your habits?

“Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs one step at a time.” — Mark Twain

Old habits can be hard to change. They don’t change overnight, but a small change can often coax you down the stairs into a new direction in life.

Make one small change and see what happens. I wonder sometimes why I didn’t drive to Barnes & Noble instead of a bar when I was triggered.

One tiny change could have been the turning point.

Yes, you will feel like shit in the beginning when you’re creating new habits.

It won’t feel as good as when you were out drinking with a few buddies, or alone in your apartment in your pj’s, but we have to remind ourselves we’re learning to walk again and developing new habits to win the Mind Game.

It takes time, but we’ll get there together. So we can all experience a win.

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