Summary

The article recounts a humorous wine-tasting experience in Romania involving a man, his wife, and their Chihuahua, Paco, who displays unexpected knowledge and personality, leading to a series of comedic exchanges and insights into the dog's character.

Abstract

In "Wine Tasting in Romania With My Chihuahua, Paco," the author shares a light-hearted narrative of a wine tasting adventure. The story unfolds at a vineyard where the author, his wife, and their Chihuahua, Paco, engage in tasting various wines. Paco, the Chihuahua, shows a surprising interest in wine, making jokes, philosophical remarks, and even critiquing the wines. The author humorously depicts Paco's antics, including his attempt to drink from a wine glass, his reaction to the wine's aroma, and his eventual preference for drinking from a bowl. The dog's character is brought to life with witty dialogue, and the story culminates with Paco growling at a horse and passing out in the grass, much to the amusement of the author and his wife. The article emphasizes the joy and companionship that pets can bring to everyday activities, even those traditionally reserved for humans, like wine tasting.

Opinions

Paco, the Chihuahua, is portrayed as an amusingly sophisticated and opinionated companion, challenging the stereotypical image of a small dog.
The author playfully suggests that Paco's enjoyment of wine and his ability to engage in human-like conversations and jokes reflect a deeper connection between the dog and his owners.
There is a subtle jab at the pretentiousness of wine culture through Paco's comedic overreactions to wine tasting etiquette and his unrefined drinking methods.
The author seems to appreciate the absurdity of the situation, using it to highlight the unique personalities of pets and the humorous moments they can create.
The article implies that reality is subjective, as demonstrated by Paco's ability to read and converse, which only the author acknowledges, playfully questioning the nature of perception and awareness.

Wine Tasting in Romania With My Chihuahua, Paco

Little dogs love Rosé

Image by Sektkellerei Inführ from Pixabay

Years of visiting distilleries, breweries, and vineyards have taught me you can never judge a drinking buddy by the way they look. It’s what’s on the inside that counts, and whatever chihuahuas have going on inside makes them the ideal partner for your next wine tasting or lonely night at home with a Pinot Grigio and a cheese wheel.

My wife, my dog, and I recently returned from a quick trip to the seaside with a few days respite at a vineyard on our way home. Paco wasn’t a fan of the sea. He thought it was a bit cold and chaotic. He made it clear he wasn’t a water dog, but he enjoyed lounging on the fluffy beach towels and sleeping underneath our giant parasol. He was a lot more excited about the vineyard.

Upon arriving, we promptly found an open table and our tasting began.

Paco: So, people, what are we drinking here?

Brian: It begins with the pink one, the Rosé, then the Sauvignon Blanc, Merlot, and the ruby red one is the Cabernet.

Paco: Rosé? You don’t say?

Brian: I did say.

Paco: Yeah, buddy, lighten up. I’m making rhyme jokes.

Brian: I didn’t know you made jokes?

Paco: It’s a new thing I’m trying out. I read an article at the beach about how being funny can make you more popular.

Brian: (Looks at wife) Did you know he can read?

Wife doesn’t respond.

Paco: She doesn’t even know I can talk, but don’t sweat it. Reality is a construct and she’s dialed into it a different one from you and me.

Brian: Where is all this pseudo-philosophy coming from?

Paco: Look, princess, are we going to drink or debate metaphysics?

Brian: Okay. I’ll try the Rosé first.

Paco: Why do you get to go first?

Brian: Because I’ve seen how you drink.

Paco: And?

Brian: And I’ve also seen what you lick when you’re not drinking.

Paco: Fair point. Go for it.

Brian: (Sips) Hmm, it’s refreshing. Crisp and just a little sweet. Nice in the heat.

Paco: Okay, Robert Parker, stop babbling and pass the vino. (Inserts entire head into glass.)

Brian: No, you just — just take a little and swirl it around in your…

Paco: Fucking hell! I got some in my nose! It burns! It burns! The horror!

Brian: Calm down, Paco. Just breathe. We’ll get you a bowl.

Paco: I’m not going to drink wine out of a fucking bowl!

Brian: Language.

Paco: Sorry. It still hurts. Seriously though, drinking wine from a bowl would be embarrassing.

Brian: You drink everything from a bowl. You drink from the toilet.

Paco: I do not!

(awkward silence)

Paco: Fine, I did once but that was your fault for leaving a footstool in the bathroom.

Brian: Here, look, they brought you a bowl.

(Wife gives an odd look at Brian and Paco)

Paco: This is just demeaning.

Brian: I poured some of the Rosé into your bowl. Give it a taste.

Paco: (Laps up everything) Wow! So, that’s Rosé? Me gusta!

Brian: You’re still not Mexican.

Paco: Says you. What’s next?

Brian: We’ll move to the white. The Sauvignon should be drier, perhaps a bit more fruit in the nose.

Paco: Is that a burn? Are you throwing shade at my nose?

Brian: No, I wouldn’t. I meant…

Paco: Hey, you have a big nose. Mine is small. Good for you! How does the superiority smell up there, asshole?

Brian: First, harsh. Second, let’s just be cool and drink some wine.

(Pours Sauvignon into Paco’s bowl)

Paco: Sorry, I just get a little touchy about my nose. (Drinks everything)

Brian: No problem.

Paco: That’s what I’m talking about!

Brian: Maybe you should slow down and try to enjoy it?

Paco: Maybe you should SHUT YOUR FILTHY HUMAN MOUTH?

Brian: Dude, you have zero chill right now. Here, eat this cracker.

Paco: Cracker? Either give me more wine or leave me alone.

Brian: (sets down glass, shrugs at wife) I think he’s quoting Rumi. Fine, Paco. Let’s move to the Merlot.

Paco: I am NOT drinking any fucking Merlot!

Brian: What?

Paco: Haha! I’m just kidding. Poor the wine, princess.

(Pours the Merlot)

Brian: Why do you keep calling me ‘princess?’

Paco: (Drinks all the Merlot) Because she’s the Queen Boss and you’re kind of her bitch.

Brian: What is wrong with you?

Paco: Your memory is terrible We’ve had this conversation before. I mean, I’m not talking. This all in your herd. Your head.

Brian: Maybe so but you are drunk.

Paco: I’m not drunk! You’re a drunk! MERLOT ME AGAIN, MOTHAFUC!

Brian: Paco! Language!

Paco: Yeah, yeah. You pour wine and Paco gonna go pee.

(Jumps down from table)

Brian: (Looks at wife) Should we cut him off?

Paco: I hear you!! You pour, pwinsess. I drink.

Brian: Moving on to the Cabernet, it should have notes of...

Paco: I don’t give a — holy shit is that a horse?!?

Brian: Yeah?

Paco: You didn’t say there would be a horse!

He scampered off, growled at the horse, and passed out in the grass.

The Cabernet was delicious though, smoky with hints of blackberries and black pepper.

No dogs were overserved in the making of this story. No dogs were served at all. No dogs actually spoke but one dog did growl at a horse.

We had to carry him outta there by author