Summary

Michael Patanella discusses the journey of understanding, accepting, and managing emotions, emphasizing the importance of a non-judgmental approach and the concept of Radical Acceptance.

Abstract

The article delves into the personal journey of the author, Michael Patanella, as he navigates the complexities of emotional awareness and acceptance. Patanella reflects on his past struggles with drug addiction and unhealthy emotional coping mechanisms, highlighting the lack of emotional education in his early life. He introduces the idea that emotions cannot be controlled but should be observed, experienced, and accepted without judgment. The author emphasizes the necessity of patience and willingness in dealing with emotions, particularly negative ones, and how this process can lead to a sense of inner freedom and emotional control. The article concludes with Patanella's realization that accepting emotions, whether positive or negative, is crucial for emotional health and overall well-being.

Opinions

The author believes that emotional education is often neglected until significant issues like mental health disorders or addiction arise.
Patanella suggests that the inability to manage emotions healthily can lead to destructive behaviors, such as drug addiction.
He posits that emotions are neither right nor wrong; they simply exist and should not be judged.
The article conveys that the process of emotional acceptance is challenging but not impossible and requires detailed and deep work on oneself.
Patanella expresses that a non-judgmental approach to emotions is essential for emotional health.
The author indicates that a lack of willingness to accept emotions is a form of impatience and hinders emotional growth.
He shares his personal experience of how learning to accept his emotions has brought him relief and a sense of inner freedom.
Patanella advocates for the practice of Radical Acceptance as a means to deeply engage with and embrace one's emotions.

Willingness To Accept

It’s never too late.

The subject matter lately, for many of my articles has been in some way a connection to our emotions. We have looked over obtaining an ability to observe our emotions, experience them, and then finally, accept them.

Much of this topic seemed to stem from my own issues when it came to emotions, and trying to determine why I had the emotions I had, when I had them. It served as great questions to ponder.

I almost wondered why nobody is ever taught this type of education. Seems like it never is, until it’s seemingly too late, and it’s come to a negative reason, for example things like mental health diseases or addiction. I sure never gave my emotions the time of day in a healthy manner until my life had become one big wreck.

I found out, long after starting, that the hardest work I was putting into my emotions, was the attempts to numb any uncomfortable emotion, usually through drug addiction, or other unhealthy, erratic behaviors.

Any important factor came to be realized. That in which, this is nothing that can come to us in an expert manner overnight. As with anything else as it relates to self, this kind of work is very detailed, and very deep. But still, it’s nothing impossible. While it seems to reflect and magnify intimidation, the best realization to come to, is that while difficult, this isn’t impossible.

After all of this, I have begun to learn much more, once I was able to be introduced to my emotions in an open minded fashion. But what was next?

What I now have begun to learn is some new steps. I was now aware of many of my emotions. And not all of them were positive and peaceful. For the ones that steered a bit towards negativity, I looked at in a much different fashion then the happy emotions. Why wouldn’t I? The only problem was, I started looking at some of the feelings in what the experts call, a judgmental manner.

I was judging my emotions.

As mentioned before, emotions are things that we usually cannot always control. Not an effect of any sort of weakness. Emotions are never wrong either. Emotions just are. Just because we think it, doesn’t mean it’s true. If something is sad, and it makes us not only sad, but angry too, I can’t approach that scenario with any anger or disgust at myself. That is what going judgmental against our emotions can get for us.

We tell ourselves we shouldn’t feel a certain way, or we were wrong to feel the way we do. Instead of just riding out the emotion, like the experts teach. Remember, observing, experiencing and accepting the emotions I have mentioned before?

We have to approach our emotions in a non judgmental way. We also have to utilize our willingness as we face the emotions. Especially the ones that have the risk of feeling wrong to us.

These are where we take the next steps deeper into the Radical Acceptance, that I’ve mentioned before.

I have faced many emotions very closed minded. I did everything the opposite way of the way I am now being taught. I was very judgmental of my emotions, I refused to practice any kind of willingness. I was the last person that would ever be able to accept anything about my emotions.

A lack of willingness is a true representation of impatience. I could never practice patience with my own emotional health.

This whole process has done many things for me. Mostly positive things at that. But when I try to look at the big picture and really grasp what it’s all about, I am now able to see more clearly that this all generates feelings that when put together offer a relief like feelings. As if a new found inner freedom has manifested from the process of me finally being introduced to my emotions. For what feels like the first time, even while being middle aged.

I recognize my emotions long before they are fully magnified in my brain. They no longer have the time to fly off the handle or get out of control, because I am following these lessons on emotions right here.

Getting out of that judgmental world when it comes to my emotions, makes a process seem to have a nature that is smoother, and more understood the moment it arrives. And when we are talking about negative feelings and emotions, my ability to accept my emotions comes much stronger and ten fold, when it comes to those darker undesirable emotions. Whether or not it is an emotion I like or not, has no bearing on my ability to once again observe, experience, and accept all my emotions.

Michael Patanella

is a Trenton, New Jersey Author, Publisher, Columnist, Editor, Advocate, and recovering addict, covering topics of mental health, addiction, sobriety, mindfulness, self-help, faith, spirituality, Smart Recovery, social advocacy, and countless other nonfiction topics. His articles, publications, memoirs, and stories are geared towards being a voice for the voiceless. Hoping to reach others out there still struggling.