Will Write for Food

My First Medium Paycheck

While writing and illustrating silly stories in elementary school, money never once crossed my mind. My notebook was kept far from my piggy bank. My coloring book was a sacred place for my imagination to bloom as my worries of this world dissolved.

I attended workshops and classes when I was young, where authors would come and speak to a crowd of little writers in the making. This is where the idea of writing professionally, for food, was implanted into my mind. Suddenly, memories of a lively auditorium feel like a dreary factory for literary machines as opposed to a seminar for young authors.

My first Medium paycheck just hit my bank account. At first, it felt like I had just led a successful mission to Mars. The next moment, I realized the coins ticking up on my screen was now my motivation.

Spending the whole week randomly following fifty accounts a day to hit that magic number of followers is not how I want to spend my time here. Don’t get me wrong, I am excited to be a part of the partner program, but I can feel it pulling me in another direction. When I made my Medium account, having a place to post my work motivated me enough to get my first few articles published.

Taking a peak at my story statistics quickly exhausted that fuel tank. Claps, comments, and a green dot next to that bell on the corner of my screen became my motivation. I told myself I wasn’t going to pay attention to it, but I sat suspended in its tantalizing web of dopamine.

As you might expect, the next paradigm shift came when I was accepted to the partner program. Oh boy! More stats to look at! It has been fun counting pennies as they trickle onto the screen.

I now find myself in a constant battle between raw creative inspiration and processed monetary incentives.

I wonder how my future self would interpret the highs and lows of my continual struggles as a writer. Would I notice my strengths and weaknesses as I see them today? How would I reconstruct and reorganize my trials and tribulations to fit the perfect outcome?

The money I made from my first Medium paycheck might not be enough to buy a gum ball in today’s economy, but I am still proud to have hit this milestone. I am settling into my writing routine and can feel my momentum growing. I hope I will build enough inertia to bust through the next obstacle.

For now, I am going to reconnect with the nine year old version of myself that creates for the sake of creating. This sanctified activity moves with the ebb and flow of life. Even if I never make enough money on Medium to cover my grocery bill, I know I can always whip up something fresh with a Lil Tikes kitchen set. I’m sure whatever I’ll be cooking on that burner will blow us both away.