POEM | FREE VERSE | GRATITUDE

Will the Real Boost Nommer Please Stand Up

May I have your attention please

I repeat: Will the real Boost Nommer please stand up? I had to enlist Eminem cuz I’m having a problem here

Y’all act like I’ve received this kind of email before Eyeballs skydivin’ from sockets, rollin’ across my hardwood floor

Some said poetry’s dead, stacking citations for essays, black veils gatherin’ around a coffin with a hammer and nails

My phone kept pinging notifications; all my lines lit up green No walk of shame across the stage, just a wad of singles stuffed in a g-string

Somebody jump me with the paddles, I think my heart stopped Don’t act like you forgot the first time having your cherry popped

I ask politely will the real Boost Nommer stand up, please? If I knew who you were, I’d swallow your name from my knees

You’ve made one thing demonstrable — my decade-long rage is profitable

I’ve got more disdain whitewater rafting in these veins enough fresh meat to dish upon your plates Sometimes I write crazy, perhaps a little scary But I’m no monster gorging protein with Jeffrey Dahmer

I gotta list of three names with a lady on top Is she in plain sight or on Machiavelli’s island with Tupac?

Maybe it’s one of them dark nommers lurking in the shadows hiding with the Lindbergh baby and the remains of Jimmy Hoffa

Another one of history’s mysteries we may never know Files redacted in black, Oswald didn’t act alone He was just a patsy; anyone know who Boosted Nancy? FYI the FBI will never find who killed the Black Dahlia

Never expected to get properly vetted, now I got the ticket — keep it clean but spread a lesson like a disease, can’t curate poems quoting Wilson Pickett, need a message that’s universal, hyperbolic grooming’s just too personal, definitely passing on my pinned poem with the image of Travis Bickle OK OK some topics are best not distributed beyond my inner circle

Must I always refrain from including raw profanity? There’s always beauty to be found in every tragedy Just follow the blood spatters frozen on the snow, ivory and crimson swirlin’ like peppermint candy

I’m here to debunk the biggest lies from childhood, what’s now understood and been clearly established, If you don’t have anything nice to say, type it up and press publish Holding on to grudges can get you past the judges

I’m cool with keeping your identity secret, everyone flocking to your inbox when you’re busy, passing you folded notes — Do you like me? Check yes or no

Someone resurrect my girl Brittany Murphy and I swear I’ll never tell… equally eerie

I probably know my Nommer, but my father always taught me never assume, don’t wanna make an ass out of you and me

Sometimes I go offbeat, not from the 313, stuck over in the 253 I needed Slim Shady, so I didn’t choke on the intro

Not sure if I saved a life on New Year’s Day, but thanks to everyone who read my poetic PSA I got drunk on your engagement but had a designated driver One last thanks to my secret admirer

My apologies for the belated gratitude, it took me a while to write a proper thank you🎤

Thank you so much to my anonymous nommer 😘 and everyone at Write Under the Moon.

It’s pretty amazing how much my attitude has changed since publishing my first poem below.