Will the Radical Feminists and Trans Activists Please Stop Fighting
First, I want to get out ahead of the inevitability that someone will point out my lack of qualifications to write this piece. No, I am neither trans nor TERF. I consider myself part of LGTBQIA+ in the sense that I am B, feel Q, and am definitely A. I am also a feminist, albeit not the most studied and educated, but thoroughly passionate nonetheless. Damn the Man and Fuck the Patriarchy! Recently my intersectionality has felt reminiscent of being a child of divorce. I have been feeling split in two by the conflict between (some groups of) feminism and (some advocates for) the trans community. Please note the parentheses — clearly not all feminists or trans activists have been behaving badly. But some have. And like a child from a high conflict home, I desperately want them to stop fighting.
I’ve read many articles about groups of feminists fighting for a rigid definition of “woman” out of fear that our collective progress towards women’s rights may be negatively impacted by corresponding progress for trans rights. I’ve also seen plenty of coverage around trans activists responding to said feminists with the ugliest of threats and no shortage of harassment. Even folks who are pro-trans rights have become afraid to speak on the matter for fear of backlash. When situations and movements are as complex and ever evolving as these issues, it would behoove us all to have more conversation, not less. It needs to be safe to discuss, ask questions, and exchange feedback. How else will we learn and grow?
These feminists and trans activists remind me of siblings in a dysfunctional family system. The dysfunctional family, in this case, is an oppressive system that is harmful to all the family members. The siblings, hellbent on taking out their woes and wounds on each other, seem too narrowly focused — too zoomed in — to realize the system is hurting them both. The bickering and abuse between siblings helps maintain the status quo of the the harmful system, because no one is pausing to look up and out at the bigger picture. Maybe it’s a sense of helplessness regarding these larger powers that keep us at each other’s throats instead of challenging the overarching structure that is hurting everyone inside. The oppressive system, in my opinion, knows this, counts on this, and even fosters this conflict. This feels truer than ever in the wake of the news that Roe v Wade is likely to be overturned — how can a progressive party that is divided and at war within itself get it together to stop these latest attacks from the conservative fundamentalists? While we are distracted, warring amongst ourselves, will they swoop in and crush all the progress we’ve ever made?
Recently my partner reacted to an article about a trans female athlete who competed against cis women and won. He seemed indignant on behalf of the cis women. That’s exactly how they want you to feel! I thought. The title chosen, pictures featured, and parts of the story that were included were precisely to elicit his exact reaction. A cis white man, who frankly doesn’t give a shit about women’s athletics, is suddenly perturbed at the thought of a trans woman having an unfair advantage and posing a threat to women’s sports. You just fell into their trap, I thought, shaking my head. I might have even glared.
I researched the story and it wasn’t hard to learn that the trans athlete had taken a year or two off from the sport altogether in order to move through her transition. Only then did she resume an activity to which she had been deeply devoted for most of her life. She did win the competition featured in the story, but this article that captured my partner’s eye didn’t mention that she came no where near the record which had previously been established by a cis woman. Why would they include that detail in the story — since it would allude to the fact that the trans woman didn’t have such a major advantage after all — if not because they were intentionally trying to be provocative.
Likewise, I’ve noticed a plethora of articles which highlight the threats and harassment that outspoken TERFs receive from trans activists, or at least folks who are posing as trans activists. Like the professional athlete who happens to be trans, this seems like such a tiny minority of a hugely marginalized group, why would the articles insist on honing in on these instances and the challenges they cause, versus zooming out and looking at the legitimacy of the movement as a whole? It certainly seems like the purpose of highlighting the perceived “problem cases” is meant to elicit criticism and build resistance against the progress of trans rights. (I’m not saying the trans athletes themselves are doing anything wrong. I’m saying that how to integrate the much needed evolution of trans visibility and trans rights has presented a challenge in the world of sports.)
I remember learning in a sociology class many years ago that a pattern had emerged around the arrival of new groups of immigrants in the United States. New immigrants have always endured discrimination and all kinds of abuse upon their arrival. Well, that part I had already gleaned just from living here, but what I learned was that the group most involved in the discrimination and harassment of any given new arrival was the group that had most recently arrived and “assimilated” before the newest group. I put “assimilate” in quotes because I understand that discussion around the process of assimilation is very ethnocentric and problematic. That said, I wonder if something similar is happening with some of the radical feminist groups and the trans rights movement.
In psychological terms we would call this “displacement” — à la kicking-the-cat as a defense mechanism. It means redirecting a negative emotion or hostile reaction from it’s original source to a less threatening recipient. I am concerned that at least the trans-adverse feminists, if not also the death and rape threatening trans activists, are, in fact, displacing their rage. I suspect the rage of both groups is actually incited by a system that is hurting both parties, but is tragically and ineffectively being directed towards each other, i.e. the less threatening recipient.
I hope and believe that we can figure out how to overcome our more primitive defense mechanisms and be advocates for all the human rights issues without being anti-other human rights issues. Safety and freedom are not like a pie wherein there is a finite and limited supply. In fact, I suspect that it’s quite the opposite and that safety spreads and begets more safety. People who feel safe and are safe can consider and want safety for others in a way that folks who are oppressed, threatened and traumatized may not have access or ability.