Will Running Help?

I am a blonde haired brown eyed forty something year old woman. I am the Karen demographic. My oldest child was one year younger than Tarayvon Martin, when Trayvon was murdered. His death was a huge wake up in my perspective. I knew if my white son had been walking at night with skittles and iced tea and killed by some grown man, there would be rage. Privilege is knowing my son’s skin color protects him in the dark of night. When the 911 calls played on TV I ducked my head crushed for his mother. But, I’m ashamed to admit, I did nothing beyond the empathy I felt. I did not act. I felt like my inaction may have helped perpetuate the problem. I was ashamed of myself. I saw wrong and I did nothing.

I was tagged on a post requesting that I run in honor of Ahmaud today, what would have been his birthday. I discussed the idea at length with my husband yesterday. I wondered if it would do any good beyond appeasing my own guilt for not doing something about an obvious lynching. I mentioned to him that social media movements have power, recalling the me too movement. Ahmaud is one year older than my oldest son, once again. Once again I am feeling empathy for his family’s pain. But I am not sure running in his honor is a solution.But I wonder if it’s going to help me more? Should I find something in addition? What I do know is that I’m watching my friends and attempting to allow my friends lead the way. I don’t know what I’m doing. I do know that I stand in solidarity. But perhaps the best way I can help is see how the impacted community responds. I will follow their lead. I know running won’ t bring him back. I know running won’t prevent it from happening again. I know I should not pat myself on the back for doing enough. Running is not enough when people are dying. So what does Karen do?

Karen shuts up and listens. She is honest to herself when her behavior is called out by people who are experiencing it. Karen does not yell, “but NOT me.” Karen, most people will know, not you just by your behavior. No need to interrupt as if you’ve been accused. Just shut up and listen. During the me too movement, my husband stood out to me as one of the good ones. He listened to my experiences as a woman. He did not stop me and tell me he would never do that. He let me teach him what it felt like to be a woman in the world. Just doing that told me a lot about him. Karen knows she does not have the answers. So, Karen does not attempt to take the lead. The best way I can describe to other Karens is when speaking on gender inequality in the workplace. You do not need some man telling you how to deal with it. If men knew, it would not be happening, would it? They’ve had time to fix it. So Karen, take a seat. Let the people who should be leading lead. Do what they suggest. You are not a savior. You will not fix everything by being loud and taking charge. If you want to fix anything, shut up and follow.

Will I run today? Yes, in solidarity. But I will not assume my work is done. I will not expect a pat on the back. I will listen and fall in line and do the work that is asked of me. Running is not a solution. I hope that it puts pressure on law enforcement to do the right thing. I hope the family feels support from the world. I hope the family hears us shout, “ this is an outrage we don’t accept.” But Ally Henny made a post on Facebook that addressed my concerns with running for maude:

Ok, listen up people of whiteness who wish to show solidarity for Ahmaud by taking a walk/run tomorrow.

I am not discouraging y’all from going out. But I want you to know that you going for a walk in all of your whiteness and privilege is a show of SOLIDARITY (which is needed), but it is not activism nor it is pulling down structures in any kind of way. You are just taking a walk or jogging. Dassit. You do not have to be concerned about getting hunted by your neighbors or the police. It is not the same act of resistance or level of risk that many of your “black friends” will be taking tomorrow.

If you still feel behooved to participate tomorrow, I want to offer you a challenge: Go for your walk or run and don’t tell nobody about it.

Don’t post pictures of your feet with a long sappy essay about how walking made you feel and how you’re gonna do better.

Don’t post a screenshot of your Nike Run app with a hashtag.

Don’t take video.

Don’t post scenery.

Go for a walk and don’t say anything to anybody about it.

Don’t do your good deeds publicly to be seen by people. You stunting to be seen by folks nullifies the good that you did because that’s your only reward.

Instead of posting on social media something that will be forgotten in a week, you should take the time to reflect on the changes that you need to make within yourself and build up the courage to act and disrupt racism.

I cannot tell you what you specifically are being called to do, but I can tell you to follow your inner voice, reason, conscience, the voice of your chosen deity, or whatever entity that you turn to when you need to make deep changes in your life.

But y’all need to change. And taking part in a social media fad ain’t gonna cut it. Show solidarity, but then get out and make a change.

Dear Karen… if you want to change this, and I believe a lot of us do.There’s more work to be done. Find something you can do within your community to make a change. Do not go in with all your Karen-ness and co opt a movement. Zip it and get to work.