Will I ever be successful?

What are the chances of being successful as an Asian actor?

People aspire to be actors, me included. I have always had in mind that my dream job is becoming an actor. What am I doing now? Sitting in lectures about things I don’t care about, going to classes I have little to no interest pursuing, but one day I’m going to have to do some boring job in some office in my home town. Being an actor is easy if you love acting you can be one but the thing is being a successful actor is hard. Just trying to be an actor that can afford rent is ridiculously hard. As I’m get older, the more I realized how unrealistic my goals are. Acting or anything in the entertainment industry is hard and mostly not about talent. It is more about connection, knowing people, and whether or not you are attractive.

In a study done by UCLA in 2018 it can be concluded that Asian’s chances are low, we make up only 4.8% of all film roles. That is compared to 69.1% of white people. You can see why it is hard. It’s not easy for anybody to make it in Hollywood, but it’s even harder for minorities. Sure, acting isn’t only about fame, but even getting a speaking role can be hard. Almost all Asians in film are cast as supporting characters and rarely as the main character, of course there are Asian leads but it’s extremely rare.

There is hope, with the media slowly warming up to Asian culture and becoming more accepting. With the massive hit “Crazy Rich Asian” featuring a complete Asian cast. Marvel’s upcoming 2021 film, Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings. Featuring an Asian lead, Simu Liu. This is giving hope to the future of Asian actors, with everything progressing, someday we might be seen on the big screen regularly too.

Adding on to that, I’m from Australia. My parents want me to stay in college so I have no choice but to stay. I know that I shouldn’t always listen to my parents and should chase my dreams, but how often does that end well. My parents are everything to me and I know they are just trying to look out for me, but still, it is frustrating, being stuck in Melbourne taking classes that would only leave me working a 9–5 somewhere.

As a proud Australian Born Chinese, I never really was bullied, a few racist slurs may have been thrown around a few times but never anything massive. I’m proud to be Australian, if I was on tape I would sound Australian, not Chinese but when they see me, I’m no longer what they were looking for. All my hard work goes out the window.

If I ever do make it I want everyone to know that I would have to fight five times as hard as someone else that doesn’t look Asian.

People always talk about how acting is about accepting failure, being OK with people tell you no, but for how long, we can’t just sit around and wait forever. Many Asian’s face this problem, as most of the time shows have one character that can fit you. You can’t fit into the family, and most of the time you’re going to be given roles that don’t even matter and that’s if you’re lucky enough to get a role. TV shows only write in one Chinese character, making it so hard to get roles for all the actors out there.

Many CW shows are including a more “diverse cast”, with many shows featuring minorities, but in the end Asians still aren’t getting the representation they deserve. Sometimes it’s not about actually making it, but even being treated with respect and not have you devalued because of your race.

People have told me to go act back to China or an Asian country to act, but I don’t understand. I am born and raised in Australia, why would I have it any difference to Chris Hemsworth or Hugh Jackman. Just because I look Asian? Just because I look different from the typical big stars? I grew up basically in the same area as Chris Hemsworth yet I’ll never be like him.

I grew up watching lots of TV, Supernatural being my favorite shows. This obsession with TV has lead me down this path, wanting to be something more and instead of watching, be the one people watch. This has been my dream since I was 11, the first time I thought about it was in grade school. My teacher asked what everyone wanted to be, and everyone was like “doctor”, “teacher” and “scientist”. The typical. At that exact moment, I had no clue, I just said “I don’t know” and the teacher moved on. I got home that night and thought for a long time about what I liked, I liked TV, I’m funny and I was obsessed with celebrities. Maybe I’m different. I don’t want to be like the other kids, I want a career in acting.

I wasn’t invested in acting for the money, I fact I just want to live in a 1 bedroom apartment, I was never into the big houses and mansions. I’m more interested in actually working with amazing people, I feel like acting is the only job out there that you can have fun while doing. Be surrounded by talented people, teach each other, and just generally enjoying being on set and filming. Watching behind the scenes of TV has gotten me more into acting, seeing the dynamic between cast members and the fun they have has made me believe that only acting can truly bring happiness into my life. People will say I’m fame-hungry, I want attention and I just want to be famous. All I really want is to have fun, to do a job I’ve wanted to do for years now and enjoy what I do.

I understand that I should just go for it, try while I’m young. But honestly I’m still clueless. I want to move to LA, run away from all my problems back home, but then again, I’m just going to make more problems in LA. Rent there is over the roof and generally everything is expensive as heck, plus the acting industry is one of the hardest to be successful in, that’s just some of the reasons why I haven’t gone.

From a young age I’ve wanted to start a career but I have no clue where to start, I spend days and weeks reading articles and blogs about people that are talking about moving to LA to pursue their dream career. I’ve seen a variety of answers, some telling me to shot for the stars, or go for it while I can. While others say, you have to be really brave to go, or chances you’re going to make it are close to 0. We should never listen to what other people say but sometimes it’s good to know.

I hide behind these walls saying I don’t want to go into the acting industry because it’s hard for an Asian but really I’m just scared. Acting is hard, you need to have a reason for them to pick you instead of the 40 other people going for the role, regardless of your race. You have to have special skills that you can offer for you to stand out. This whole article I’ve been bashing about how Asians don’t get opportunities, all that is true, but when it comes to it, I’m just using it as an excuse because I’m scared.

“If you risk nothing, then you risk everything.”

— Geena Davis

I try to justify why I haven’t done anything with racism, but really it is just me, still being scared. Acting is just a game, just that the start is almost impossible. The first level is where people give up, but I still haven’t even tried it.

My dream, as I mentioned before, is fading. Losing hope. Is it even a dream if you just cannot forget about it? I have sleepless nights thinking about what I could have been if I left earlier. This keeps me awake at night. Thinking about how I gave up a life goal to please my parents.

At the end of the day, my dreams are my dreams. I’m never really going to forget and move on. Acting will always be the one thing I see when I think about my future. Never am I going to give up, even with all odds against me, I will make it out there one day, whether in 1 year, 10 years, or 50. I will keep trying. Never am I going to give up.

Some may not support me, but that doesn’t matter, I’m doing what I want to do, not what other people tell me to do. Ultimately, it is my future, not my parents, not my friends. If you have a goal, you shoot for the stars, you need to go for it even if others don’t think you can.

Life is short, if you don’t strive for it now, you may never be able to. Everyone reading that is aspiring to be an actor, just go for it. I was reluctant and scared, making it so hard to pick up now, leaving my life a mess.