Why Your Apology Sucks and How to Fix It
Ah, the art of apologizing.
For some people, mastering this skill is as elusive as stepping outside and finding a unicorn in the driveway.
You’d think that with all the therapists, online blogs, and self-help books available, most people would’ve mastered this by now.
But yet, here we are.
Still fumbling over our words and making half-hearted attempts at mending relationships.
If you take nothing else from this blog post, please take this.
“I’m sorry” is NOT the equivalent of waving a magic wand and expecting all of your problems with whomever you’ve hurt to disappear.
If only it were that simple!
But nope, life isn’t a fairy tale, and “I’m sorry” is not your fairy godmother.
As much as I love Monopoly, life isn’t that either.
You don’t get a get-out-of-jail-free card that you can whip out every time you fuck up.
Remember those days when you’d steal candy and hide the wrappers under your bed, and your parents would end up finding them?
Back then, a simple “I’m sorry” would suffice, and everything would be cool.
But now?
We’re adults (allegedly).
The stakes are much higher, and the problems are much more complex.
You can’t just throw around apologies time and time again like confetti and expect people to keep dancing in your parade.
I find it amusing. Really!
We live in a world where we can send rocketships to Mars, but we can’t craft a genuine apology to save our lives.
Instead, we think all day and come up with elaborate speeches filled with flowery words and poetic expressions, hoping that the sheer length of the apology will somehow make up for the mistake.
Nah, nah, nah, nah, NAH.
And don’t even get me started on the “I’m sorry you feel that way” brigade.
Oh, how magnanimous of you to acknowledge my feelings while skillfully sidestepping any responsibility for your actions.
BRAVO!
Let me present you with your Oscar for the “Best Bullshitter” category.
*Insert eye roll*
Okay, honestly, that’s like saying, “I’m sorry you’re upset that I slapped you in the face”, instead of, “I’m sorry I slapped you in the face”.
See the difference?
One is a masterclass in passive aggression, while the other is an actual apology and effort at accountability.
The truth is that a genuine apology requires introspection, humility, and a willingness to change.
It’s not about appeasing the person you’ve hurt or salvaging your bruised ego.
Actually, it’s about recognizing your mistakes, understanding the impact of your actions, and taking steps to MAKE SURE IT DOESN’T HAPPEN AGAIN.
All of that requires growth, maturity, and personal development.
So the next time you find yourself in a situation where you need to apologize, take a moment to reflect.
Ask yourself, “Am I apologizing because I genuinely feel remorse, or am I just trying to smooth things over?”
“Am I willing to put in the work to make amends, or am I just trying to ease the tension to keep my environment comfortable for me to be happy?”
Remember, your actions speak much louder than your words.
And in the grand scheme of things, a heartfelt apology backed by meaningful long-term change is worth a lifetime of empty “I’m sorrys”.
Because, at the end of the day, a genuine apology isn’t about just saying the right words. It’s about becoming a better version of yourself.
Isn’t that what life is all about anyway?