Why You Want To Measure Yourself As Mundane
We’re not special. We’re just middling.
For the first time in a while, I went to Facebook and left the site feeling pretty good about myself. On most days, there’s nothing fantastic or surprising going on.
I get friend invites from randoms who want to see my picture and know my name even when they’re a few clicks away. I didn’t post much at all for years so my “Facebook memories” are super dated. And as a writer my feed is mostly filled with other writers talking about their books or other such things.
It’s not a bad feed, but it’s not something that makes me feel rejuvenated or that the time I spent there was super helpful.
But today was an exception.
It was a post a few weeks ago by someone who is now the current Vice-Principal to the high school I went to. They made a post in the middle of this month saying that they wanted to organize an alumni association. Essentially a group of alumni students from the high school who would help support students.
Considering we’re the largest high school alumni in Atlantic Canada, I can imagine we can do a lot of good from this.
I reached out to them to volunteer which was that feel good moment for me since I can imagine I’ll be living in the town I’m in for a few more years.
But all of it got me thinking about my life as a whole and even my time at high school.
I was very reserved and generally a weird teen in high school. I wanted social interaction from people, but I struggled to make conversation with people. I also didn’t shower as often as I do now. There were quirks like that that I lived with for several years until I made an effort to change my ways.
I wasn’t a remarkable student either in terms of academics, earning on average C’s and B’s. That I consider not half bad considering I very rarely studied on any of my subjects.
But my point in all of this is that as I grew out of those unusual quirks of mine I can say with confidence that I’m no one special. Even today I still have my own looming problems that I’ve got to deal with.
There are still flaws in my life that I want to be solving and there’s parts of me where people can point to and call me “mid” for that.
And that’s okay.
Because as individuals, it’s smarter to embrace these facts and to be okay with being mundane, middling, or as the kids say these days, mid. Here is why.
It Keeps Us Humble
The self-help industry has thrived off the idea of weaving and selling everyone’s dream life and providing the tools to live that life. Whether you’re trying to climb out of your own pitfalls or striving to elevate your skills in an area, self-help has been around to drive us to be more than where we are at in our lives.
On one side that can be a good thing. Knowing that there is someone always ahead or in a better position than you can be motivating to get yourself out there. To hustle and give it your all as it were.
But there is the other side too.
I feel a portion of the industry has been on that side all along. Exploiting on people’s vulnerabilities from their life situations or offering flimsy advice that just sucks and locking it behind courses or seminars valued at hundreds to thousands of dollars.
They sensationalize this feeling of grandeur and that everyone can be at the top making millions of dollars, marry a supermodel, and be one of the most influential people on the planet. It’s really easy to do that.
But the reality is that isn’t sustainable. The end result is an inflated ego and the mentality that the world owes you everything.
Why measuring yourself as some unremarkable chump in the world is that it keeps you grounded in reality. It keeps you real to who you are and where you are going.
Yes, what you’re achieving for yourself will be life-changing and significant. But on the world stage, what you are doing is nothing revolutionary or different. Millions have built up a business they are happy with. Millions have lost weight and achieved their physical fitness. Millions have met the love of their lives.
And millions more will continue to achieve those things.
I find that reminding ourselves of those things has a way of controlling our ego and when we do that, more benefits, growth, and change will follow in our footsteps just for the simple fact we’re not being an entitled asshole hyped up on self-help juice.
It Allows Us To Focus On What Matters Most
And part of the reason we get those benefits, gains, and change that I just mentioned is because we are able to have better priorities. While the hype in the moment of dreaming big and thinking big feels good, we’re not really coming from a place of centeredness.
Even though gurus like to think being overly positive is a place of “balance”, it’s not. As much as I like to be optimistic about things, finding true balance is being realistic with your expectations and accepting the fact that some things don’t go as planned.
It’s that force against us that keeps us grounded that I think allows us to be mundane beings.
The reason that’s good for us is if we’re not special but rather mundane, average people, then we have better priorities in life. We curb our expectations a little bit and not try to over-extend ourselves.
We don’t bite off more than we can chew as it were.
When you’re taking on less, mentally speaking, that gives you ample of space to dwell on things that do matter most. Instead of worrying about whether you’ll date a supermodel, you’ll focus more on getting yourself out there and meeting people.
Instead of worrying about whether your business will get reach the million dollar threshold, you’ll focus on being as productive as you can with what you’re doing now. You’ll entertain realistic ideas and try them out here and there when you can too.
As much as everyone out there wants to be leaving the biggest impression on the world, focusing on that makes you forgo the smaller things in life. It makes you ignore the opportunities that are presented to you right now. And that has a steep cost.
Especially when one is ignorant to the fact that those who make the biggest impact these days have absurd levels of privilege that was dumped on them since they were a child.
You Begin Having More Control Over Yourself
These days it’s impossible to be entirely independent. There is always going to be some middle man or someone you’ll end up working under in some way shape or form. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing though. So long as those above you are looking after you, then things can turn out well.
But what I mean by more control over yourself comes from a more mental stand point.
Because self-help loves to sensationalize dreams, what you end up doing is being more exploited and leveraged by that person rather than being looked after. They guide you away from who you envisioned yourself to be and into something else and they call it growth.
It doesn’t help you.
It’s the kind of self-help that makes you think crystals offer all kinds of mystical powers or that scented candles will cleanse your senses. That or going on a juice cleanse or fasting will somehow make you more productive.
Instead of believing that, you can choose to have more control over it. You might buy candles for the fact they smell nice. You might buy crystals simply for their colour or shape.
You find your own reasons for why those things have meaning to you. You make the mundane into something significant to you.
And that logic can apply to what you do in your life as well.
Because as backwards as it is, the mundane existence we all have is simultaneously something extraordinary. It’s happened billions of times now of course, but we can use those facts as a means of balancing ourselves and having more control over ourselves.
And that is a power that can allow us to relish the growth and achievements we make rather than trying to show them off all the time.
Measuring ourselves as mediocre people allows us to do great things with ourselves. It’s a means of setting the bar not too high we inflate our egos, but not too low that we’re not really getting anywhere.
Calling ourselves students, a mentor, or some other bland, broad, and generic title allows us to position ourselves where we less narcissitic about ourselves. It gets us to think we’re not the exception and that when we fail it’s someone else’s fault.
No. Everything we do and say is on ourselves.
Being mundane doesn’t sound exciting or thrilling, but it is practical and it allows us to go big in our own way. It allows us to live our best life. It allows us to be enough for ourselves.
And that’s what’s most important in life.
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