Why You Shouldn’t Transport Your Real-life Friends Online
Try this and thank me later.
When my friend told me to send him a friend request on Facebook, I said, “No. I don’t transport real-life friends online. There is no point in doing that.” So, I gave him my WhatsApp number and told him to send his newly born's photo there.
My friend, whom I’d just met after nearly eight years, smiled and took my number.
It happens very often. When I attend any social gathering, many of my friends complain that they never see me anywhere. By anywhere, they mean Facebook. Because that’s where all the people in my country eat, pray, and love.
Facebook is their home.
Not connecting with my friends or colleagues on Facebook or any other social media platform (that has a newsfeed) was a conscious choice I made only two years ago.
Why did I do that?
At one point, I realized that I was spending too much time seeing other people’s stuff. All my colleagues, friends, and many others I don’t even know were on my friend list. Their activities — good, bad, and ugly — were all over my newsfeed. And it was making my blood boil.
Because I never wanted to see where my friends or colleagues are going on holidays, what they are achieving in life, how happy (or depressed) they are in their marital life, and thousands of other unnecessary posts, videos, and all.
I was not too fond of those then, and I don’t like it now. Because they force me to compare my life with theirs, which is utterly meaningless.
Don’t get it wrong! It was not jealousy.
The people I knew in real life and the people they portrayed themselves on Facebook never matched. Everyone was perfect and happy on Facebook, which they weren’t in real life.
This hypocrisy bothered me a lot.
So, I got rid of those people from my Facebook friend list.
I deactivated my Facebook account for almost eight months, then deleted it completely.
Now I have a new Facebook account where you’ll find only a handful of other Medium writers. No one else. Not even a single person from my own country. Not those who are my friends, family, or colleagues. Moreover, I use Facebook or any other social media platform for less than 10 minutes a day.
If you ask me — I want you to do the same (if your professional life doesn’t depend on social media presence).
I won’t bother by telling you thousands of negative things about social media. Because you already know all those watching The Social Dilemma. And you know very well how social media manipulate your behavior and turn you into their puppet to serve their goals.
Well, I’m aware that it’s nearly impossible for you to quit all social media platforms as modern life is too connected with those. But what you can do is get rid of the people you know from your social media friend list.
Remember, you don’t compare your life with top celebrities too often. Your rivals are your friends or colleagues.
When you see them uploading photos after photos exhibiting how happy they are and what they are achieving in life, either you put yourself into an unhealthy competition or feel depressed thinking you have no life.
On the other hand, if you don’t take your real-life friends online, you will live a more peaceful life. You don’t feel the pressure to upload tons of photos showing how happy you are and ask for social validation.
You’ve no fear of missing out (FOMO). That’s a blessing, indeed.
However, instead of wasting your time on social media platforms, you can enrich yourself by reading books, walking in nature, spending quality time with your kids, talking to a friend over the phone or in person, building a new habit, taking an exciting online course, or doing a million other things that don’t turn you into a validation-seeking junkie.
Remember, there are more things in heaven and earth than showing how cool you are on social media. So, don’t join that mad competition.
Give your life some meaning.
New to Medium?? Unlock thousands of AWESOME stories only for $5/mo. and OUTSHINE others — Click Me.
If you want to read more of my writings, do check out the following articles.