Why You Shouldn’t Get a Cockatiel for Your Kid

By someone who got a cockatiel for her 14th birthday.

This morning, I had to put off writing because my bird Ziggy pooed in her food bowl and masturbated in it overnight.

You read that right. Spring is here, baby. We had an April shower a day early this morning.

I’m pretty sure I can end the article here, actually. I’ve already answered the question.

But in case you’re still thinking about it, I wasn’t interested in birds until my dad wouldn’t let me get a dog, so I got Leo on my 14th birthday.

Leo has anxiety, and when I was 14, I didn’t even know a bird could have anxiety. Parents gave Leo up after their kid lost interest in him, and he ended up with another kid who didn’t know what she was doing. That said, I adored him and still do. I never got bored with him. I just wasn’t very good at taking care of him.

I went to college, and Leo was devastated. His plucking got worse and spread to his neck. When I got him back after graduation, I was severely depressed and could barely take care of myself. Leo saved my life. He is now almost 16, and healthier than he’s ever been. You can’t tell he’s an older bird, and besides his plucking, the vet gave him a clean bill of health.

People who see me with my birds now who don’t know about birds are stunned at how much my birds interact with me.

My birds are my life today, and I’m glad I have Leo, but I should have never had him in the first place. The only reason Leo is happy and alive today is because I grew into the type of person who could happily keep a bird.

Cockatiels are not beginner pets.

I cringe whenever I see a care pamphlet saying tiels are easy. They’re only easy if you’re doing the bare minimum.

If you go to Petsmart’s cockatiel care sheet linked above, these are the basics given:

Experience Level: Beginner

Size: The smallest of the cockatoo family, cockatiels can grow up to 12 inches (30 cm) long

Lifespan: Cockatiels can live for 15 years or more

Temperament: They are extremely social and enjoy daily interaction with their humans

Behavior: They’re intelligent enough to learn commands

Origin: Cockatiels are native to Australia

Only two of those are totally accurate and they are “size” and “origin.”

Let’s go through the inaccurate ones, shall we?

Life expectancy

Petsmart’s listed life expectancy is true, but it is also misleading.

As I said, Leo is about 16. He’s still kicking. 15 years is actually the early end of their life expectancy. They’ve been known to live up to 30, and living over that is uncommon, but not unheard of. See this video of a 26-year-old cockatiel singing. He’d end up living until 31. (The video says he is he oldest known, but I found several instances of cockatiels living over 30.)

Congenital problems aren’t uncommon either. I’ve lost a bird because of congenital kidney failure. He was the first pet I ever had to make the call on for putting him to sleep. (Also, the last one to date, I’m happy to say.)

They aren’t pets you can just get and not expect vet bills. They need checkups (Leo and Zig are overdue, actually. eek) and they need to be brought in when they’re sick.

Also, I have to make sure I’m home in the morning to make sure no poop is in the food bowl. I can’t go on several-day vacations because, at this time, I don’t have anyone to check on them. I’ve left gatherings to let the birds out so they have time out that day. It’s a lot like having a dog.

Basically, you can expect a healthy cockatiel to live longer than most dogs and cats.

Temperament and Behavior

Cockatiels are assholes.

The type of person who would be good with a cockatiel is someone who not only thinks that’s hilarious but can handle rejection and boundaries. In this way, they’re like cats.

Cockatiels can learn commands, but they can also ignore them. Also, you can have respect for their boundaries, but they have no concept of your personal space.

I’ve been trying to teach Leo the Imperial March for years, and the only time he did it perfectly was when I was in bed very much not sleeping with my long-distance partner before they moved.

I can’t even describe how annoying Ziggy is, but if anyone hurt her, it would be my supervillain origin story.

They’re smart and have a full range of emotion. They can get jealous, anxious, sad, overexcited, angry, and have bad days. They’re not always social either. When they’re hormonal, they can be aggressive. Ziggy is clingy and almost always on me. Leo is independent and loves exploring. Ten seconds later, he wants to be pet.

They’re social and need interaction. Cockatiels ARE parrots, specifically cockatoos. If you’ve ever met a large cockatoo, you know they can be super cuddly but super needy. Cockatiels aren’t less work because they’re smaller. They just can’t rip a hole in your drywall if they’re annoyed or bored. They aren’t as loud. But their social needs are actually about the same. Keeping one in a cage all the time is torture.

Birds are also picky. There are birds who only like women or only like men. Some are afraid of redheads. There are several stories of bird carers who had to redye their hair because their bird didn’t like the color. I don’t wear nail polish and don’t even bother doing my nails at all because Ziggy is just going to tear them.

A bird may attach to a person who isn’t your child and refuse to interact with anyone else. You can’t force a bird to like someone or enjoy time with you. If you get the bird for your child, it will be disheartening if you happen to get one of those birds. It isn’t uncommon.

You will have to make some of the weirdest sacrifices and compromises you’ve ever made. In the words of Ron Weasley, “You’re going to suffer, but you’re going to be happy about it.”

Conclusion

So if you’re thinking, “My kid is like you!” I guarantee you they’re not. Don’t get a bird unless YOU want a bird. Not just willing to take care of one. Want one. I’m not saying don’t get a bird if your child wants one, but you need to want one too. I’m not saying don’t give your child some care responsibilities, but you can’t rely on that.

It’s more than responsibility. It is two or three decades of commitment and mess and the occasional bite. Your child may grow into the type of person who can have a bird and be happy, but they’re not going to be that person yet.

Birds are among the most abandoned, neglected, and abused pets in the world because people don’t know what they’re getting into or didn’t do their research. The pandemic caused an uptick in parrot surrenders. There’s probably a bird shelter nearby you can volunteer at! There are ways to interact with birds that don’t require bringing one home.

Birds are incredible, but they’re work. Sometimes emotional work.

I highly encourage children learning about birds. Being good to birds means learning to be a better human. Watch bird videos with your kid, volunteer, or go to the avian part of the zoo. Watch birds in the yard. There’s something about birds that makes you think outside of yourself. But only once you see them as they are. Not as what you read on a care sheet.

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